(no subject)
with the last couple of days and all of this rain and sleep and stillness, it's quite a contrast. all the motion and music, the continual sound (i say this as if sound ever really stops, as if motion ever really stops), the continual company. it sounds like it would get stale, i know. but somehow it really doesn't. so many friends, new and old, a few great sunsets, a few great sunrises, so many stillframes stuck in my head. moonlight over the biscayne bay, daylight breaking over endless ocean and skyline. sailboats scattered across a sea in the northeast, just before sunset. park swings and docks on a southern summer night. warm air and sunlight, and barbeques and waterhoses and soaking ourselves until we wrinkle, and then when night falls doing it all over again. and again. dancing until our muscles ache. a mid day nap on a front porch couch, and waking to friends playing baseball in the street and a chill in the afternoon air. a few hours later wearing sheartshirts and jeans and still shivering, but so glad to be outside, so glad to be in good company. still out hours later, tired and cold but so blown away by the thoughts and ideas of a friend that there's nowhere you'd rather be than on a bridge over a lake, seeing trees and buildings, grass and pavement, flourescent lights and the light of the moon, and all of it reflecting off of the water, colors bending and dancing, images "natural" and otherwise, all seeming so massive and surreal. teeth chattering and every detail of everything you can find seeming too alive to process or describe, like from a dream. like painted on, and so many words sending your thoughts in a thousand different directions, opening so many different doors, leaving you speechless, idling, smiling at gears turning inside of a friend's head, laughing at yourself and how slowly the gears turn in your own- at how slowly, misplaced, misspoken, all the words are as they sputter from your mouth and straight to the floor.
and then there's playing music every single night. and there's front porches and talking the hours away. there's watching your friends' eyes light up when they see a fire fly, and everyone forgetting what they were saying afterwards and not even caring because they're still thinking about the goddamn fire fly, and will be for a while still. there's awkward and out of place and it actually feeling good for a change. there's comfortable and confident and not given second thought to anything, actions just happening, and nervous not even seeming relevant. there's friends who start to feel so much more like family than you would have ever guessed they could, and in their presence feeling safe but still excited, comfortable but still challenged. there's the goodbyes that stretch on and on and on, longer than ever neccesary, and still never really minding it at all. loving it, even.
in georgia, nicole said that when she hears people say "this sounds so cliche, i know...." she thinks it is one of the saddest things they could possibly say. because it's taking things that are sincere, valid, honest, and marginalizing them. it's people making themselves feel less worthwhile in their thoughts, ideas, passions, actions- in things that actually matter to them- simply because of the amount that these things have been talked about.
and even after i've annalyzed it all to death and become so very bored and so very tired with so many elements of all of this, i'm so glad that there is still the honesty in so much that makes it so worthwhile. that even though these things have been said and done a million times, they still make me hopeful, and still make me happy to think about. they still effect my life in so many positive ways.
it's the things that cliches are made of, and i'm so very glad i can speak of them with a smile.
and then there's playing music every single night. and there's front porches and talking the hours away. there's watching your friends' eyes light up when they see a fire fly, and everyone forgetting what they were saying afterwards and not even caring because they're still thinking about the goddamn fire fly, and will be for a while still. there's awkward and out of place and it actually feeling good for a change. there's comfortable and confident and not given second thought to anything, actions just happening, and nervous not even seeming relevant. there's friends who start to feel so much more like family than you would have ever guessed they could, and in their presence feeling safe but still excited, comfortable but still challenged. there's the goodbyes that stretch on and on and on, longer than ever neccesary, and still never really minding it at all. loving it, even.
in georgia, nicole said that when she hears people say "this sounds so cliche, i know...." she thinks it is one of the saddest things they could possibly say. because it's taking things that are sincere, valid, honest, and marginalizing them. it's people making themselves feel less worthwhile in their thoughts, ideas, passions, actions- in things that actually matter to them- simply because of the amount that these things have been talked about.
and even after i've annalyzed it all to death and become so very bored and so very tired with so many elements of all of this, i'm so glad that there is still the honesty in so much that makes it so worthwhile. that even though these things have been said and done a million times, they still make me hopeful, and still make me happy to think about. they still effect my life in so many positive ways.
it's the things that cliches are made of, and i'm so very glad i can speak of them with a smile.