last night's story, as requested.

[less_than_canny]

this only started as a funny story lauren had. not even funny to her, just funny about her or rather at her. her neighbors were going out for the weekend, but their 9th grade daughter, hannah, was staying. and like so many freshman with parents leaving for the weekend before her, hannah was doing her freshman-ic duty and having a party. and she

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[1_happy_banana]

points of clarification/addition:

i didn't intend to nearly start a fight. i was overexhilarated with the power. plus i was lightheaded from shouting so loudly, and she was too drunk to fight me anyway. she was more the 'sit and bitch' than 'stand up and throw a punch' type. thankfully.

there were between 100 and 150 people there, in a house the size of my davis casa. for my lr ladies, it is comparable to nicole's family's house. we could hardly walk. there were people smoking weed on the couch, people making out on the parents' bed...it was like something out of a bad teen movie.

nothing exciting happened after john and shauna rode off into the night to rescue the drunken damsel in distress. we had denise sleeping peacefully on the floor, and her father came to get her. he was a small but muscly little man with an equally small but slightly less muscly sidekick (with matching t-shirt), and both were extremely hostile and concerned. they demanded to know what she had been drinking, who had been with her, who was responsible, and whether any guys had been touching her. that was awkward. her dad called the police, which was fine, and then took his daughter to the hospital.
the story hanna is telling--i kid you not--is that she was eating dinner downtown and someone walked into her unlocked house and started a party, and she got called to her own home by her friends. when she found it out of her control, she came to our house for backup. so far, i think her parents bought it. the police certainly seemed to, when they arrived a few minutes after denise and her father and his friend left.
once the police had left, it wasn't long before the sober young men who had stayed to help also had to leave, and vanessa's dad came to pick her up, and then it was just hanna and me cleaning up until her aunt and uncle came to get her. (obviously she can't be expected to stay home alone in a house that nameless high school students are willing to break into.)

the parents, steve and julia, haven't come over yet to check my story against hanna's, which is fine, because i'm not really comfortable with lying or with telling them the truth. but i need to see them soon, because there are two vomit-soaked old beach towels over there that belong to me.

[less_than_canny]

lying to her parents about teens randomly breaking into their house, starting a party and her breaking it up so that she looks like the victim instead of the perp. thats ballsy. stupid, but ballsy.
seriously, how gullible are they?

[1_happy_banana]

addendum:
right after i posted that, steve and julia and hannah (with an h) came over with flowers and borders gift cards and effusive thanks for both shauna and me.
hannah has apparently altered her story a little: she wanted a little girls-only party, but everyone invited more people, and she was a pushover. (her parents like that better?)
also, denise's father believes that denise was molested, and he intends to sue the steve family.
denise, ashlynn, and lily are recovered nicely. amusingly, denise (who was the most healthy and sober-seeming of the three) had a BAC of .199. that girl has quite a future in college parties.

[1_happy_banana]

and furthermore, if i am old at twenty, then how ancient are you?

[less_than_canny]

are you kidding? 90% of my favorite TV shows are cartoons. i eat otter pops on a daily basis. i dont mate my socks. i play video games and argue about comic book characters. im the embodiment of an eight year old.