(no subject)
I knew something was wrong...
So... does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do with the rest of my life? I literally don't have anywhere at all to start.
The whole point of leaving France was that I wanted to be closer to my friends again, but I get back here and nothing has changed at all. I still have to do everything alone. That would be fine if I knew what I wanted.
I don't know where to start now.
(PS yay obama i guess, too bad all my plans for the future fell through ten minutes before that was announced)
ETA:
Okay... so basically without housing I'm not going to be able to go to New York in January. I won't be comfortable moving unless I have a job wherever I end up going, and I want to make sure I have enough savings in case whatever job it is falls through. Meaning I sure hope Target asks me to stay after January.
Anyone know someone who will need a roommate in a big city like NYC soon?
All I really wanted was a situation where I was comfortable wandering around in my pyjamas on free days and to live with someone I liked with a sense of humor like mine. I know it could still happen someday but I was a lot less unhappy when I thought it was a sure thing. I feel like I'm exactly where I was in France... if I don't live with people I like I'll never speak to anybody and I'll just get miserable and homesick again. Based on all my experiences with the friends I have leftover from college and high school, if *I* don't organize shit it doesn't happen, meaning I can just assume I'll never see any of those people unless they live in my building. So yeah, it's basically starting over again with no friends.
The only person who has called me since I got my phone is my grandmother, by the way. She made plans with me too. I *have* tried to get together with people around here and they all backed out. I'm not just sitting here whining that nobody likes me. But it doesn't take much for me to be convinced that people are sick of me, so if someone has a reason they can't see me once I wait for them to try to make it up the next time, and if they don't I assume they just don't care.
Okay I'm all over the place. Literally ALL of my plans hinged on this one thing and now I'm not sure where to start. I'll just go to bed.
I wish I could talk to my mom but she's on this stupid cruise and I won't be able to get her advice/have her reassure me/calm me down until SUNDAY. God.
This was supposed to be such a happy moment with the election and everything... I wasn't supposed to spend it crying and bleakly reflecting on how unstructured my future is.
So... does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do with the rest of my life? I literally don't have anywhere at all to start.
The whole point of leaving France was that I wanted to be closer to my friends again, but I get back here and nothing has changed at all. I still have to do everything alone. That would be fine if I knew what I wanted.
I don't know where to start now.
(PS yay obama i guess, too bad all my plans for the future fell through ten minutes before that was announced)
ETA:
Okay... so basically without housing I'm not going to be able to go to New York in January. I won't be comfortable moving unless I have a job wherever I end up going, and I want to make sure I have enough savings in case whatever job it is falls through. Meaning I sure hope Target asks me to stay after January.
Anyone know someone who will need a roommate in a big city like NYC soon?
All I really wanted was a situation where I was comfortable wandering around in my pyjamas on free days and to live with someone I liked with a sense of humor like mine. I know it could still happen someday but I was a lot less unhappy when I thought it was a sure thing. I feel like I'm exactly where I was in France... if I don't live with people I like I'll never speak to anybody and I'll just get miserable and homesick again. Based on all my experiences with the friends I have leftover from college and high school, if *I* don't organize shit it doesn't happen, meaning I can just assume I'll never see any of those people unless they live in my building. So yeah, it's basically starting over again with no friends.
The only person who has called me since I got my phone is my grandmother, by the way. She made plans with me too. I *have* tried to get together with people around here and they all backed out. I'm not just sitting here whining that nobody likes me. But it doesn't take much for me to be convinced that people are sick of me, so if someone has a reason they can't see me once I wait for them to try to make it up the next time, and if they don't I assume they just don't care.
Okay I'm all over the place. Literally ALL of my plans hinged on this one thing and now I'm not sure where to start. I'll just go to bed.
I wish I could talk to my mom but she's on this stupid cruise and I won't be able to get her advice/have her reassure me/calm me down until SUNDAY. God.
This was supposed to be such a happy moment with the election and everything... I wasn't supposed to spend it crying and bleakly reflecting on how unstructured my future is.