Dreams of Awakening [Magicy WoWoo Within]
Those of you who know me fairly well I am deep in the mystical community and have my own inclinations towards magical phenomeon (assuming you believe, if you dont feel free to ignore).
I consider myself a shaman, but when I first started studying and practicing I didnt. I was simply another wiccan kid, part of a small coven of high school kids who believed in magic and read stuff out of books. Shamanism came out later when I discovered the meaning behind dreams I had been having for my entire life.
Ever since I was little I had one recocurring nightmare that haunted me even through high school.
I would become coherent bound to a conveyer belt, hanging above me in a line down the belt were villians and monsters from horror movies (the reason I couldnt and still have great trouble watching them). They were lined up on either side like a terrifying array of machine shop robots. As I moved by them they would leer down at me horrifyingly and proceed to cut me apart, each one using thier weapon or tool of choice to cut a part of my body off. Never during this did I loose conciousness or loose the ability to feel pain, even if they cut off my arm, when the next cut off my hand I could feel the exquisite pain of the severing, even if they cut off my head I could feel every other limb cut off.
At the end of the conveyer belt was...nothing. As the belt rolled under all of my cohensive parts would fall off the edge into blackness. I would scream and scream, and wake up in a cold sweat. I never screamed out loud, but my thrashing fits did wake my mom occasionally.
I had this dream at least once a year (often more frequently) untill I was 17. What stopped it? I figured it out. I figured it out when my first shamanic avatar found me, Mother Widow. She sent me seeking down the path of her web and i got a brief insight of some of the future that might visit me. I realized that the dream was my ability trying to fully unlock itself.
That night I dreamt again.
It went the same, the same monsters, but I wasnt intimdated this time. I didnt scream. As I fell I called upon spider and the spirits of the earth to weave my flesh back together. As I fell into blackness my body knitted itself whole again and I tumbled in my fall facing head down and diving into the infinite darkness.
I woke up the next morning feeling infused and energized.
I later discovered in my readings that almost everyone who feels the calling of the shaman has this experinece. They are torn apart in different ways by the spirits in thier dreams. I have met a number of other shamans, and almost all of them remember a dream like this, most (like me) recall it in vivid detail. Even historically shamans of all cultures had to go through a visionary expereince that involved them being torn apart by the spirits and put back together, allowing themselves to be infused with the power of the spirit world.
I have never had this dream since. I still have a hard time watching horror movies though.
I consider myself a shaman, but when I first started studying and practicing I didnt. I was simply another wiccan kid, part of a small coven of high school kids who believed in magic and read stuff out of books. Shamanism came out later when I discovered the meaning behind dreams I had been having for my entire life.
Ever since I was little I had one recocurring nightmare that haunted me even through high school.
I would become coherent bound to a conveyer belt, hanging above me in a line down the belt were villians and monsters from horror movies (the reason I couldnt and still have great trouble watching them). They were lined up on either side like a terrifying array of machine shop robots. As I moved by them they would leer down at me horrifyingly and proceed to cut me apart, each one using thier weapon or tool of choice to cut a part of my body off. Never during this did I loose conciousness or loose the ability to feel pain, even if they cut off my arm, when the next cut off my hand I could feel the exquisite pain of the severing, even if they cut off my head I could feel every other limb cut off.
At the end of the conveyer belt was...nothing. As the belt rolled under all of my cohensive parts would fall off the edge into blackness. I would scream and scream, and wake up in a cold sweat. I never screamed out loud, but my thrashing fits did wake my mom occasionally.
I had this dream at least once a year (often more frequently) untill I was 17. What stopped it? I figured it out. I figured it out when my first shamanic avatar found me, Mother Widow. She sent me seeking down the path of her web and i got a brief insight of some of the future that might visit me. I realized that the dream was my ability trying to fully unlock itself.
That night I dreamt again.
It went the same, the same monsters, but I wasnt intimdated this time. I didnt scream. As I fell I called upon spider and the spirits of the earth to weave my flesh back together. As I fell into blackness my body knitted itself whole again and I tumbled in my fall facing head down and diving into the infinite darkness.
I woke up the next morning feeling infused and energized.
I later discovered in my readings that almost everyone who feels the calling of the shaman has this experinece. They are torn apart in different ways by the spirits in thier dreams. I have met a number of other shamans, and almost all of them remember a dream like this, most (like me) recall it in vivid detail. Even historically shamans of all cultures had to go through a visionary expereince that involved them being torn apart by the spirits and put back together, allowing themselves to be infused with the power of the spirit world.
I have never had this dream since. I still have a hard time watching horror movies though.