You know how you're convinced that you've seen the absolute worst film ever made and then suddenly you see The Spirit and find out that you've been deceived and there is even worse dross out there to be explored ( Read more... )

I cannot imagine how they went back to the well after this one. Saddest shark in the history of representations of killer sharks. Plus bonus crap 3d effects that can't have been effective even back then.

OMG PEOPLE SERIOUSLY THE NEW WOLVERINE IS THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE AND PEOPLE WHO SAY OTHERWISE ARE LIARS AND FOOLS AND SHOULD BE PITIED AND IT HAD NINJAS AND A GIANT ROBOT AND MANPAIN IN THE CANADIAN WILD AND THERE WAS A GRIZZLY BEAR AND JAPAN AND THEN SOME FIGHTING AND OMG YES NINJAS AND AT ONE POINT LOGAN WAS LIVING IN A CAVE SUCH WAS HIS ( Read more... )

So thanks to people who shall not be named because I'm nice that way I'm watching my second Step up movies. In this one a dancer from the streets (a hideous guy) has this thing with a rich girl WHO MUST BECOME A PROFESSIONAL DANCER THIS SUMMER or have to work for her rich father. THE SUFFERING ( Read more... )

lage_nom_ai you did not lie! Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is one of the great films of our time. THE TRAINING MONTAGE OF AXE-WIELDING! THE JUMPING FROM HORSE TO HORSE IN PURSUIT! THE ACTUAL AXE-WIELDING! All of it awesome, people, and I haven't even finished the movie yet. This is all going to replace the three facts I actually know about Lincoln's early ( Read more... )

This...this was like the perfect apotheosis of the ridiculousness of the Bond genre. It was so magnificently dumb and starred more dumb people than have ever been gathered in one plot before (my theory is that there's a parallel MI6 where the competent people work. The Bond one is where they shove all the spies and admin people too dangerous to ( Read more... )

I think I have pretty conclusively shown that I will watch almost anything. And that I have very low standards when it comes to films. Very, very low standards. Thus when I say a film is crap, I think you can believe that not only is it crap, but that it is crap on a hitherto unknown and unthought of level. Trust me on this: Wrath of the Titans ( Read more... )

2012 has brought me the cough of a consumptive 80 year old so far. Hope yours is starting better. :)

Despite this I went to see Mission Impossible: the one where they are off the grid or something. MI films are like Bond films to me: they do exactly what they say on the tin and blow lots of things up with exciting gadgets. (Yes, I know Tom Cruise ( Read more... )

I just came back from this and found it quite a bit of fun. There is a hilarious WoW type opening scene that the rest of the video-game action should have been in, IMO. You can never go wrong with SRK wielding a sword, I say.

But...( Cut for spoilers )

I hope everyone on the East Coast is surviving Hurricane Irene. I doubt it will comfort you any to know that I got (what I hope is) an awesome Nora Roberts movie out of the library: Angel Falls. It's got Heather Locklear as some woman on the run from a horrific event* in a gimpy car. Of course, there will be manly men wherever she lands up. Who ( Read more... )