(no subject)
Names are really something. You can associate many things with it-a personality, an idea, an attribute, a history. And while I don’t know the full history of my middle name, what I do know educes mixed feelings in me. Pride and shame, delight and disappointment.
Proud of the accomplishments of my ancestors, of their humble beginnings as foreign immigrants with nothing but their ingenuity and assiduousness to sustain their lives in a new land. Proud of their seemingly innate knack for business that, over the years, elevated the family name into one of prominence. Delighted at my mother’s childhood stories of grand parties, open-air ballets, colored television, a pristine Pasig River, and carefree days spent in hectares of untouched wooded land. Proud of the bottomless pockets and ceaselessly open arms they extended to missionaries and Christian organizations.
Ashamed of how power attained by status was often misused. Ashamed of the corruption of a great lineage by greed within three generations after it was established. Disappointed at how generosity was often abused or mistaken as boastfulness. Disappointed that one decaying branch can affect the whole tree.
The thing about taipan clans is that they inevitably gather many skeletons in the closet until such time that they give rise to ghosts in the room that haunt their descendents. And just as inevitably, avarice is the root of most, if not all, of these skeletons. It causes people to become self-serving until they have little or no regard for the loved ones who once cared for and nurtured them.
But a clan is still a family. And even if other parts of the family tree have been afflicted by one branch, pruning it is the last thought from their minds and they all take part in trying to restore the whole tree.
Family is a great thing. I’d rather our name be recognized as a family than as a term synonymous to money.
…Ok, now I forgot what got me started on this whole thing!
Oh, right.
Jess, my condolences for the loss of your angkong...
Then I started thinking about my lola and family..
Before my lola died, multiple strokes left her unresponsive to almost anything. She couldn't speak or recognize anyone, and she went around in a wheelchair because her muscles had gone into atrophy. It was really sad to see her in such a state. Our family opted to keep her at home, in familiar surroundings, with a nurse by her side 24/7. And although my lola was supposed to receive dividends & a monthly allowance from the family company after my lolo died (so she and the family could live comfortably), she only received a percentage of that once Gotsekong started running the company. She was also entitled to reimbursements from the company for medical expenses-and her expenses were pretty hefty-but when my mom asked the company to pay for a fraction of the hospitalization bills & medicines, Gotsekong said we (my lola’s family) should pay for all of it because we can afford to anyway.
My aunt’s initial reaction was bitterness, and I think she still feels that way towards him. But they just left quietly, applied for loans, and eventually they were able to pay for my lola’s medical expenses.
Then, just a little over a year after my lola passed away, Gotsekong had a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. All his children were jobless and relying on him for their allowances to feed their indulgent lifestyles, and the only thing they cared about was who was going to give them their money now.
With no one to run the company, my uncles and cousins intervened and discovered many discrepancies in the company’s financial records; there were many things unaccounted for-missing receipts, nonexistent contracts and the like. In other words, they were amazed at how the company was still running despite its system being so disorganized. And while the men were trying to untangle the mess that were the family companies, the women made sure that Gotsekong-and his kids-received good medical care.
So it’s more of pity than bitterness I feel for him. His children-my uncles-didn’t even care that he almost died, and leeched off him until that drastic point. And even when he refused to release money for my lola’s medical expenses (to which she was entitled), my aunts and uncles all pitched in to pay for his hospitalization (they didn’t touch company money because they needed to organize things first).
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, really. But like I said, family is a great thing. I’m glad family won over money that time.
Proud of the accomplishments of my ancestors, of their humble beginnings as foreign immigrants with nothing but their ingenuity and assiduousness to sustain their lives in a new land. Proud of their seemingly innate knack for business that, over the years, elevated the family name into one of prominence. Delighted at my mother’s childhood stories of grand parties, open-air ballets, colored television, a pristine Pasig River, and carefree days spent in hectares of untouched wooded land. Proud of the bottomless pockets and ceaselessly open arms they extended to missionaries and Christian organizations.
Ashamed of how power attained by status was often misused. Ashamed of the corruption of a great lineage by greed within three generations after it was established. Disappointed at how generosity was often abused or mistaken as boastfulness. Disappointed that one decaying branch can affect the whole tree.
The thing about taipan clans is that they inevitably gather many skeletons in the closet until such time that they give rise to ghosts in the room that haunt their descendents. And just as inevitably, avarice is the root of most, if not all, of these skeletons. It causes people to become self-serving until they have little or no regard for the loved ones who once cared for and nurtured them.
But a clan is still a family. And even if other parts of the family tree have been afflicted by one branch, pruning it is the last thought from their minds and they all take part in trying to restore the whole tree.
Family is a great thing. I’d rather our name be recognized as a family than as a term synonymous to money.
…Ok, now I forgot what got me started on this whole thing!
Oh, right.
Jess, my condolences for the loss of your angkong...
Then I started thinking about my lola and family..
Before my lola died, multiple strokes left her unresponsive to almost anything. She couldn't speak or recognize anyone, and she went around in a wheelchair because her muscles had gone into atrophy. It was really sad to see her in such a state. Our family opted to keep her at home, in familiar surroundings, with a nurse by her side 24/7. And although my lola was supposed to receive dividends & a monthly allowance from the family company after my lolo died (so she and the family could live comfortably), she only received a percentage of that once Gotsekong started running the company. She was also entitled to reimbursements from the company for medical expenses-and her expenses were pretty hefty-but when my mom asked the company to pay for a fraction of the hospitalization bills & medicines, Gotsekong said we (my lola’s family) should pay for all of it because we can afford to anyway.
My aunt’s initial reaction was bitterness, and I think she still feels that way towards him. But they just left quietly, applied for loans, and eventually they were able to pay for my lola’s medical expenses.
Then, just a little over a year after my lola passed away, Gotsekong had a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. All his children were jobless and relying on him for their allowances to feed their indulgent lifestyles, and the only thing they cared about was who was going to give them their money now.
With no one to run the company, my uncles and cousins intervened and discovered many discrepancies in the company’s financial records; there were many things unaccounted for-missing receipts, nonexistent contracts and the like. In other words, they were amazed at how the company was still running despite its system being so disorganized. And while the men were trying to untangle the mess that were the family companies, the women made sure that Gotsekong-and his kids-received good medical care.
So it’s more of pity than bitterness I feel for him. His children-my uncles-didn’t even care that he almost died, and leeched off him until that drastic point. And even when he refused to release money for my lola’s medical expenses (to which she was entitled), my aunts and uncles all pitched in to pay for his hospitalization (they didn’t touch company money because they needed to organize things first).
That’s just the tip of the iceberg, really. But like I said, family is a great thing. I’m glad family won over money that time.