(no subject)
So we come to the end of another chapter.
I am left with no one but Oliver to talk to (others know him as Ollie or extreme dirty hippy looking boy). I know him as a kind friend as he has saved my life on many an occasion now which is lovely for someone who I only met a few months ago.
I have decided to finish school at Indro High and I am embracing the thought with rosy cheeks.I can't wait for the antics to begin because since leaving school I have had such a slap in the face when it comes to what's really important in life and man am I going to be able to laugh at the "neighbours" attitude school kiddies take.
woooooo back to the learning center for ants!
Oska has departed from my life in his own little haze. I know most of you are thinking "Thank god her little mind has been released and our bodies no longer have to be groped"
For the first time in a long time I let my guard down and fell for him, he also fell for me.
What I don't understand is that when I held him up when he needed it, he let me dwell in sadness when their was a lot going on with me. He then used the reason for leaving me
"you have too many problems and I can't support you the way I want to, you're stronger than I am mrmrmrmrrr"
So not support me at all?
Yeah I don't get it. When you're in a relationship with someone and you tell them you want to marry them (which he did once first thing when I woke up in the morning) you're supposed to say that with the notion of taking them as all that they are.
You don't get to pick and chose what about that person you want to be in love with. You are in love with all of them.
So in that respect I am not so sure he was in love at all but only using my trust and attention as a lift up out of his own little problems.
I do miss him a lot because it's like a part of me has been removed and set alight and I am so unsure about so many things. On top of that I still haven't started grieving for the loss of my Nan due to trying not to break down and give Mum more stress.
I miss all of you. Mel I miss you on an extreme level.
I am also moving out soon and have had my mobile taken away from me.
This all sounds like a huge wank to me but I needed to get this out.
Thank you livejournal you big cyber friend you.