No, really. All of them.
I've come to the conclusion that people from the southern States who share my name are defacing it by being total bitches. Allow me to elaborate:
Laura Wilkinson took the gold medal for women's 10m at the Sydney Olympics--against ALL EARTHLY LOGIC--and brought it back home with her to Texas. I still haven't forgiven her. Why not? Because on a typical day, she's not good enough to make finals at a world level meet, and never has been. This was a complete fluke. Of course, her adoring public doesn't know this (since it is composed entirely of bandwagon diving patriots who'd never heard of a somersault before she came along), but she has never taken the time to correct them. I wouldn't hate her so much if not she had just said, even once, that her victory was unexpected. But to listen to her talk, you could almost swear she thinks she deserves it. Could she, could anyone, really be so delusional?
I felt a bit better as the Athens games approached, because her arrogance came back to bite her in the ass as everyone acted as though she was a lock to medal again. I could see the fear in her eyes, and it made me happy. I was even happier when she crashed and burned (by which I mean, performed the way she always does), and the American media quickly shut the hell up and pretended they had never heard of her.
And then there's Laura Mallory, Georgia mother of four and fruitcake of the highest order. Although she hasn't read the Harry Potter books (because they are too long), she maintains that they are not only evil, but Wiccan religious texts responsible for recent school shootings, which would not have happened if students were assigned to read the Bible instead. She's been fighting this fight for over a year now. Fortunately, she hasn't even made a little bit of headway.
I wish I were exaggerating even a little bit. But really, how can anyone say with a straight face that Harry Potter has incited more violence than the Bible? How can anyone say with a straight face that anything has incited more violence than the Bible?
**
Laura Wilkinson took the gold medal for women's 10m at the Sydney Olympics--against ALL EARTHLY LOGIC--and brought it back home with her to Texas. I still haven't forgiven her. Why not? Because on a typical day, she's not good enough to make finals at a world level meet, and never has been. This was a complete fluke. Of course, her adoring public doesn't know this (since it is composed entirely of bandwagon diving patriots who'd never heard of a somersault before she came along), but she has never taken the time to correct them. I wouldn't hate her so much if not she had just said, even once, that her victory was unexpected. But to listen to her talk, you could almost swear she thinks she deserves it. Could she, could anyone, really be so delusional?
I felt a bit better as the Athens games approached, because her arrogance came back to bite her in the ass as everyone acted as though she was a lock to medal again. I could see the fear in her eyes, and it made me happy. I was even happier when she crashed and burned (by which I mean, performed the way she always does), and the American media quickly shut the hell up and pretended they had never heard of her.
And then there's Laura Mallory, Georgia mother of four and fruitcake of the highest order. Although she hasn't read the Harry Potter books (because they are too long), she maintains that they are not only evil, but Wiccan religious texts responsible for recent school shootings, which would not have happened if students were assigned to read the Bible instead. She's been fighting this fight for over a year now. Fortunately, she hasn't even made a little bit of headway.
I wish I were exaggerating even a little bit. But really, how can anyone say with a straight face that Harry Potter has incited more violence than the Bible? How can anyone say with a straight face that anything has incited more violence than the Bible?
**