I have been doing pretty well in SingleTown
Hey there everybody!
I have been doing fairly well over the past two weeks or so dealing with my new relationship status. I have been cruising the online dating sites I am part of, and taking some constructive feedback on my profile from a guy friend of mine. I am trying to find the balance posting enough in a profile to read as an active, well balanced, independent, fun woman, but not posting so much that I give away everything before a guy even wants to meet me.
Mostly the response has been from 40+ dudes, many overweight or balding (which I am personally not attracted to) and a few 20-somethings who I feel may just want to hook up, since they have nothing of substance to say. I don't think I am intimidating in the least, so I am not sure what I am doing "wrong" but hopefully I can just be patient and work it out.
This week has been rough emotionally for me. There are few aspects of the relationship ending thing that are getting me down. One being that he has apparently moved on pretty well, and I guess I feel a little hurt. I am trying not to feel hurt, but it's hard when I spent most of my life feeling "not good enough" and watching someone "replace" me so easily doesn't help that mindset. I am trying very hard to just let it go, and failing. The things that may seem confusing about this are that I feel uncomfortable about the scenario, but not jealous like I want to get back together. That is not on my mind at all, it's not something I want. He and talked about that, he expressed that he was afraid that I want that, so I tried to be very clear that I don't want to get back together at all, and that us breaking up is a good move for both of us.
My negative feelings are centered around my feelings of self worth, which in the end have nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me. The fact that even though it's good we are not together, I feel sad and my sense of self worth is being punished by my feelings of being replaced so very quickly. I feel like our nearly four years don't mean much if he is able to just jump right back into dating and it seems like he essentially already had someone interested in him before we even broke up. I don't think he cheated on me or anything like that; I think he was very honorable about making sure she knew he had a girlfriend and he wasn't available. However, as soon as he became available, they went out. I am having a hard time processing that. His going out with people shouldn't affect me. It does. How do I get that to stop?
I also feel jealous for myself that he already has people interested and I have no game, apparently. Or at least, no game worth talking about or pursuing. I have been contacted online by people I am absolutely not interested in. There are a few that at least had cool questions or comments so I did have online conversations, but just not enough in common to want to really go further. None of them asked me out, and I am okay with that. I did try messaging two guys. One never responded at all, which again is fine. He's not interested, no big deal. Another did respond, and wanted to chat outside of the online dating site service, so I gave him an email address. He emailed me once to make sure I had his, and then never again. I reached out once more with no response, so I gave up. I am not going to waste my time on dudes who are not interested.
Some girlfriends today were telling me to ditch the online scene, but I am not sure where else I will meet people. I mean, you can only wander aimlessly around so many places before you seem like a lonely weirdo. I can't remember the last time I was somewhere like a bookstore or whatever, and anyone even looked at me. So, how does one go about meeting safe non-psycho people? Any suggestions? I am trying to be open, but not getting very far. Obviously my karaoke bar is not the place to meet people.... or really bars in general. I am trying to develop relationships with more girlfriends so we can do single lady things and maybe meet people that way. So, oddly enough, those girlfriends I was talking to today invited me to come out with them tonight, and I will go....... and we will be meeting at my usual karaoke bar haha..
I don't know.... I don't wanna feel sad or weird anymore.........