Life's Not a Song (1/6) (Glee/Buffy Crossover)
Title: Life's Not a Song (1/6)
Author: lennoxave
Pairing,Character(s): BtVS: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles; Glee: Kurt, Tina (so far)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,562
Spoilers: Glee: Through 2.06, "Never Been Kissed"; BtVS: The whole series, and very vague ones for the set-up of the Season 8 comics, but they're vague because I've only read the first trade of Season 8 :) (And the story has nothing to do with the plot of the comics)
Summary: The Scoobies get called from the U.K. to Lima, Ohio to search for a missing book on raising the dead. In what is surely a coincidence, Kurt misses his mother more than ever.
Author's Note: Takes place after Glee episode 2.05, but before episode 2.06 (however, it brings up some things that occur in 2.06). As for the Buffy timeline, uh . . . sometime after the series ended, but before the comics started? Probably not too long before the start of the comics. But, yeah, the Buffy timeline's not going to make any sense, but that's okay. :D
Life's Not a Song
“So, they give you any hints about the big 'special assignment'?” Buffy asked as she met Willow in the corridor.
“Nope. It was just 'be at Giles's office, promptly at nine. Please don't poof in, that freaks me out.'”
“I'm not gonna lie, this whole Giles Jr. thing Xander's got going on is freaking me out a little bit.”
“I think it's cute,” Willow said as they turned a corner. “I sort of want to get him a pair of glasses and see if he cleans them when he's frustrated the same way Giles does.” She frowned. “Or would that be insensitive? Would a monocle be more appropriate?”
“I dunno. A monocle and an eyepatch? That's a whole lotta look, even for the suave and sophisticated Watcher-Xander.”
They reached the door to Giles's office, and Buffy knocked lightly.
“Come in,” Giles called.
“What's the sitch?” Buffy asked as she and Willow walked inside. Giles was seated at his desk while Xander stood next to him, sorting through some papers.
“Good, I'm glad you're here,” Giles said. “We have something of an emergency on our hands.”
“And a 'top of the morning' to you, too,” Buffy greeted him. Giles looked sternly at her over his glasses.
“Basically,” Xander said, handing Buffy and Willow each a manilla folder, “we think we might have the makings of a zombie army on our hands.”
“Oh, joy,” Buffy said, opening her folder. “It's been a while since I've almost been killed by reanimated corpses.”
“That vampire den in Manchester?” Willow pointed out.
“Oh, yeah.”
“The point is,” Giles cut in, “our Cleveland coven is concerned about a book that went missing from one of their safe houses in a nearby city.”
“Lima, like Peru?” Willow asked, looking at the fact sheet in her folder.
“Lima, like the bean, we've been told,” Xander replied.
“Anyway, the book contains the most complete collection of resurrection spells ever assembled, and we're worried that, in the wrong hands, it could be used to amass a consolidated undead force the likes of which the world has never seen.”
“Wait,” Buffy said, “why was the book in Lima, and not with the coven?”
Giles leaned back in his chair. “Safety. There's an interesting phenomenon about Hellmouths: because they draw demons and the mystical and such, the surrounding areas are often free of such things. There's generally a good hundred-fifty mile radius around a Hellmouth that is devoid of dark forces. Nothing stays put in those areas. The pull of the Hellmouth is too strong, and it draws them in. Keeping the most dangerous texts in those inactive spots should help keep them safe. In theory, anyway.”
“But L.A. was that close to Sunnydale. How come it was Demon Central?”
“Well, the fact that L.A. is L.A. kind of explains that,” Xander said. “I mean, there's no more wretched hive of scum and villainy, and that's not even taking into account the demons. L.A.'s the exception that proves the rule.”
“So, if this is going down in Ohio, why is it coming to us?” Willow asked.
“We need the two of you, along with Xander, to go to Lima, find out who's trying to raise the dead, and stop them.”
Buffy and Willow looked at each other before Buffy spoke. “This isn't something the Cleveland operation can deal with?”
“Robin's swamped trying to set things up,” Giles said.
“Plus, we want our best witch on it,” Xander gestured at Willow, “and we somehow didn't think that sending Faith over to work with her would go very well.”
“Agreed,” Willow said.
“We did some research--” Giles began.
“Shocking,” Buffy smirked.
“--and the book was being housed in the William McKinley High School Library.”
“Seriously?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “What is with high school librarians and occult texts?”
“That librarian is a wise and learned member of the coven, and it would do you well to--”
“What Giles should be trying to tell you, instead of lecturing you on respecting your elders,” Xander interrupted, “is that we're going back to high school.”
“Meaning . . .?”
“Undercover work. He pulled a few strings, and we've gotten undercover placements at the school. Will, you're going to be subbing for a teacher on maternity leave--chemistry and biology.”
Willow's eyes grew wide in happiness. “Awesome! I have some great ideas for lesson plans!” Everyone else looked at her. “What, too enthusiastic?”
“And I,” Xander continued, “am going to be the 'police liaison' for the school.”
“What's that?” Buffy asked.
“I'm not really sure, but I get to wear a cop uniform, so go Team Me.”
“Badass,” Willow nodded in agreement.
“What do I get to do?” Buffy said. “Guidance counselor? I have experience with that. Or something more athletic? Gym teacher? Cheerleading coach? I could totally be a cheerleading coach.”
Xander and Giles exchanged glances. “Um, not so much. The only other open position was . . . practitioner of the custodial arts.”
It took Buffy a second to unpack that title. “I'm gonna be a janitor?”
“Janitors have access to the entire school,” Giles pointed out. “It will really be an integral part of our oper--”
“I'm gonna be a janitor?” Buffy repeated, and she turned around and left the office in a huff.
Giles sighed and called out after her, “Be packed and ready to leave in an hour!”
* * *
If it was just one thing or the other, Kurt Hummel figured he could handle it. If it was just the bitter, lonely isolation of being the only gay kid in school or the daily physical harassment from the jocks (especially Karofsky), which for some reason had gotten worse since Finn walked down the hallway in his boxers for Rocky Horror, he could deal. The fact that it was both, though? On top of lingering worries about his father's health, regardless of the fact that he'd passed all of his check-ups?
Well, it was hardly surprising that Kurt had been feeling particularly run-down as of late.
He never let himself break down at school, and he didn't want to break down at home and worry his father, so he went to the only place he could cry and not be questioned: his mother's grave.
Kurt sat down on the grass in front of his mother's headstone. He didn't speak to her, because he knew she couldn't hear him. He just sat, and remembered, and clutched the grass in fistfuls, like holding onto the blades where they hit the earth would somehow bring him closer to her. It wasn't long before the tears started flowing.
“Kurt?” a familiar voice asked softly behind him.
Kurt turned, wiping his tears away. “Tina,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
“My grandma's birthday,” she admitted, pointing to a grave a few rows down that she had apparently adorned with daisies. “They were her favorite. I know you think it's stupid, but--”
“No,” Kurt cut in. “It's nice.”
Tina kneeled down next to him. “Do you come here a lot?” she asked.
“Not that often,” he said. “More, recently.”
“Why?”
Kurt sighed. He was not an open person, did not like opening up to people, but it wasn't like Tina didn't already know about the bullying.
“Just stressed out, I guess. Karofsky's been amping up the slushie attacks, and the amount of extra laundry I have to do is cutting into my moisturizing time something awful.”
Tina let out a weak laugh at his attempt to deflect. “I feel like it's hurting more than your skin-care routine.”
He shrugged. “There's not much I can do about it.”
“I wish I could do something to those guys,” Tina said. “Turn them into toads or something.”
“Hex them with something straight out of Harry Potter?”
“Yeah.”
“I appreciate the thought,” Kurt said, “but I don't think there's much anyone can do about it.”
Tina picked a blade of grass and began twisting it between her fingers. “What would help you, though?” she asked. “Like, if there was one thing that would make you feel better right now, what would it be?”
Kurt thought for a second. “Honestly? I love Carole Hudson. She's great. But . . .” he winced a little at the information he was going to share, “at times like this? I really, really wish my mother was around for me to talk to.”
Tina dropped the grass and looked at him very gravely. “What if I told you that she could be?”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Tina, the last thing I need right now is another lecture on God and the power of prayer.”
“That's not what I mean,” she said, shaking her head. She stood up and held out her hand. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
Author: lennoxave
Pairing,Character(s): BtVS: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles; Glee: Kurt, Tina (so far)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,562
Spoilers: Glee: Through 2.06, "Never Been Kissed"; BtVS: The whole series, and very vague ones for the set-up of the Season 8 comics, but they're vague because I've only read the first trade of Season 8 :) (And the story has nothing to do with the plot of the comics)
Summary: The Scoobies get called from the U.K. to Lima, Ohio to search for a missing book on raising the dead. In what is surely a coincidence, Kurt misses his mother more than ever.
Author's Note: Takes place after Glee episode 2.05, but before episode 2.06 (however, it brings up some things that occur in 2.06). As for the Buffy timeline, uh . . . sometime after the series ended, but before the comics started? Probably not too long before the start of the comics. But, yeah, the Buffy timeline's not going to make any sense, but that's okay. :D
Life's Not a Song
“So, they give you any hints about the big 'special assignment'?” Buffy asked as she met Willow in the corridor.
“Nope. It was just 'be at Giles's office, promptly at nine. Please don't poof in, that freaks me out.'”
“I'm not gonna lie, this whole Giles Jr. thing Xander's got going on is freaking me out a little bit.”
“I think it's cute,” Willow said as they turned a corner. “I sort of want to get him a pair of glasses and see if he cleans them when he's frustrated the same way Giles does.” She frowned. “Or would that be insensitive? Would a monocle be more appropriate?”
“I dunno. A monocle and an eyepatch? That's a whole lotta look, even for the suave and sophisticated Watcher-Xander.”
They reached the door to Giles's office, and Buffy knocked lightly.
“Come in,” Giles called.
“What's the sitch?” Buffy asked as she and Willow walked inside. Giles was seated at his desk while Xander stood next to him, sorting through some papers.
“Good, I'm glad you're here,” Giles said. “We have something of an emergency on our hands.”
“And a 'top of the morning' to you, too,” Buffy greeted him. Giles looked sternly at her over his glasses.
“Basically,” Xander said, handing Buffy and Willow each a manilla folder, “we think we might have the makings of a zombie army on our hands.”
“Oh, joy,” Buffy said, opening her folder. “It's been a while since I've almost been killed by reanimated corpses.”
“That vampire den in Manchester?” Willow pointed out.
“Oh, yeah.”
“The point is,” Giles cut in, “our Cleveland coven is concerned about a book that went missing from one of their safe houses in a nearby city.”
“Lima, like Peru?” Willow asked, looking at the fact sheet in her folder.
“Lima, like the bean, we've been told,” Xander replied.
“Anyway, the book contains the most complete collection of resurrection spells ever assembled, and we're worried that, in the wrong hands, it could be used to amass a consolidated undead force the likes of which the world has never seen.”
“Wait,” Buffy said, “why was the book in Lima, and not with the coven?”
Giles leaned back in his chair. “Safety. There's an interesting phenomenon about Hellmouths: because they draw demons and the mystical and such, the surrounding areas are often free of such things. There's generally a good hundred-fifty mile radius around a Hellmouth that is devoid of dark forces. Nothing stays put in those areas. The pull of the Hellmouth is too strong, and it draws them in. Keeping the most dangerous texts in those inactive spots should help keep them safe. In theory, anyway.”
“But L.A. was that close to Sunnydale. How come it was Demon Central?”
“Well, the fact that L.A. is L.A. kind of explains that,” Xander said. “I mean, there's no more wretched hive of scum and villainy, and that's not even taking into account the demons. L.A.'s the exception that proves the rule.”
“So, if this is going down in Ohio, why is it coming to us?” Willow asked.
“We need the two of you, along with Xander, to go to Lima, find out who's trying to raise the dead, and stop them.”
Buffy and Willow looked at each other before Buffy spoke. “This isn't something the Cleveland operation can deal with?”
“Robin's swamped trying to set things up,” Giles said.
“Plus, we want our best witch on it,” Xander gestured at Willow, “and we somehow didn't think that sending Faith over to work with her would go very well.”
“Agreed,” Willow said.
“We did some research--” Giles began.
“Shocking,” Buffy smirked.
“--and the book was being housed in the William McKinley High School Library.”
“Seriously?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “What is with high school librarians and occult texts?”
“That librarian is a wise and learned member of the coven, and it would do you well to--”
“What Giles should be trying to tell you, instead of lecturing you on respecting your elders,” Xander interrupted, “is that we're going back to high school.”
“Meaning . . .?”
“Undercover work. He pulled a few strings, and we've gotten undercover placements at the school. Will, you're going to be subbing for a teacher on maternity leave--chemistry and biology.”
Willow's eyes grew wide in happiness. “Awesome! I have some great ideas for lesson plans!” Everyone else looked at her. “What, too enthusiastic?”
“And I,” Xander continued, “am going to be the 'police liaison' for the school.”
“What's that?” Buffy asked.
“I'm not really sure, but I get to wear a cop uniform, so go Team Me.”
“Badass,” Willow nodded in agreement.
“What do I get to do?” Buffy said. “Guidance counselor? I have experience with that. Or something more athletic? Gym teacher? Cheerleading coach? I could totally be a cheerleading coach.”
Xander and Giles exchanged glances. “Um, not so much. The only other open position was . . . practitioner of the custodial arts.”
It took Buffy a second to unpack that title. “I'm gonna be a janitor?”
“Janitors have access to the entire school,” Giles pointed out. “It will really be an integral part of our oper--”
“I'm gonna be a janitor?” Buffy repeated, and she turned around and left the office in a huff.
Giles sighed and called out after her, “Be packed and ready to leave in an hour!”
* * *
If it was just one thing or the other, Kurt Hummel figured he could handle it. If it was just the bitter, lonely isolation of being the only gay kid in school or the daily physical harassment from the jocks (especially Karofsky), which for some reason had gotten worse since Finn walked down the hallway in his boxers for Rocky Horror, he could deal. The fact that it was both, though? On top of lingering worries about his father's health, regardless of the fact that he'd passed all of his check-ups?
Well, it was hardly surprising that Kurt had been feeling particularly run-down as of late.
He never let himself break down at school, and he didn't want to break down at home and worry his father, so he went to the only place he could cry and not be questioned: his mother's grave.
Kurt sat down on the grass in front of his mother's headstone. He didn't speak to her, because he knew she couldn't hear him. He just sat, and remembered, and clutched the grass in fistfuls, like holding onto the blades where they hit the earth would somehow bring him closer to her. It wasn't long before the tears started flowing.
“Kurt?” a familiar voice asked softly behind him.
Kurt turned, wiping his tears away. “Tina,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
“My grandma's birthday,” she admitted, pointing to a grave a few rows down that she had apparently adorned with daisies. “They were her favorite. I know you think it's stupid, but--”
“No,” Kurt cut in. “It's nice.”
Tina kneeled down next to him. “Do you come here a lot?” she asked.
“Not that often,” he said. “More, recently.”
“Why?”
Kurt sighed. He was not an open person, did not like opening up to people, but it wasn't like Tina didn't already know about the bullying.
“Just stressed out, I guess. Karofsky's been amping up the slushie attacks, and the amount of extra laundry I have to do is cutting into my moisturizing time something awful.”
Tina let out a weak laugh at his attempt to deflect. “I feel like it's hurting more than your skin-care routine.”
He shrugged. “There's not much I can do about it.”
“I wish I could do something to those guys,” Tina said. “Turn them into toads or something.”
“Hex them with something straight out of Harry Potter?”
“Yeah.”
“I appreciate the thought,” Kurt said, “but I don't think there's much anyone can do about it.”
Tina picked a blade of grass and began twisting it between her fingers. “What would help you, though?” she asked. “Like, if there was one thing that would make you feel better right now, what would it be?”
Kurt thought for a second. “Honestly? I love Carole Hudson. She's great. But . . .” he winced a little at the information he was going to share, “at times like this? I really, really wish my mother was around for me to talk to.”
Tina dropped the grass and looked at him very gravely. “What if I told you that she could be?”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Tina, the last thing I need right now is another lecture on God and the power of prayer.”
“That's not what I mean,” she said, shaking her head. She stood up and held out her hand. “Come on. I want to show you something.”