Far From The Tree.
Anya was assigned a project: to choose her favorite book, prepare a bit to tell the class about why it is her favorite book, and make a visual aid. I found the slip in her folder over the weekend; she didn't mention it until Sunday, and then only in passing. I asked what book she planned to discuss and she told me, and described her plan to make a Lego model of a scene.
This weekend was extremely busy, and Monday we had friends over for a cookout. Tuesday afternoon she had soccer practice. P heard us at dinner talking about what she was going to do with her model and asked about the project, leading to a far-from-the-tree moment for him, as he puts it.
She has started working on the model, and had already decided how she was going to do some more difficult aspects of the scene, but he confessed to me this morning his bewilderment and frustration that she had not "wanted to create something spectacular" and started on it Saturday, as he would have done at this age. He feels that giving a full week to work on it means the teachers' expectations are high, and must be met with nothing short of perfection.
I did not, to my credit, say, "Are you delusional?"
Nine-year-old P would have had a scale-model diorama with animated parts, after working on it all weekend to get it perfect and not having to think of it again until he handed it in.
Nine-year-old Lemon would have done it all Thursday night.
Please be aware that I am not advocating the Lemon Method, although I admit being ever-so-slightly smug that I maintained an A/B average throughout college and graduate school without ever writing a second draft. I do not, in fact, recall ever having written a second draft in my life, and when my teachers in high school would suddenly decide to grade us on the entire writing process, I took pains to use my final paper (uh, first draft) as a guide for writing a jot list, outline, and faux "draft" with mistakes. I remember one of my elementary school teachers had a large, red rubber stamp that said DRAFT, and she would sometimes stamp it on our papers even as they hung on the bulletin board for display.
It made me angry, because that wasn't A draft; it was THE draft and if I'd written the damn paper once, why would I write it again? You may roll your eyes and laugh, but if that weren't the case, how did I do so well in college?
I write good drafts.
I don't just sit down and start typing in a frenzy; I spend several days organizing my thoughts in my head and making a mental plan so that when I do write, the words flow more easily. Granted, the words were often flowing along with several pots of coffee at three in the morning, but that's how I work.
So I am not sure which event Little P would have skipped in order to work--Dragon Con parade? Oakland Cemetery scavenger hunt? Sleepover with Mia? Sleepover at Grandma's? Slot car racing? Cookout?--but I know he actually would have considered that book report a priority over one of those. (In fact, when A & M asked if they could have a sleepover at 7 on Saturday, which I had fully anticipated, he said no at the same time I said yes, citing that she'd be at my parents' the next night. I asked if there was a quota on fun to be had in a weekend and he conceded.)
I was--and remain--unconcerned about the book report because I know she is working on it, even if part of the work is in her head. I also know that where P's inclination is to turn in the Best Of The Best, Monster doesn't much care, so long as hers isn't the worst. Smart as she is, girlfriend isn't an academic in it for the love of the process. I know her mind, and she's thinking, Dude, I read the book. What more do you want? Isn't the important part that she did indeed read the book? If she rode a school bus, she'd probably be doing her homework on it as often as I did.
While I am not proud of her for this, I can relate to it, so I am less inclined to get frustrated with her than P is. I do think P's method is better, and likely why he has quite the career in his shiny new corner desk with corner windows while I am home trying to explain to Big Ez that I cannot teach the dogs to whistle.
This weekend was extremely busy, and Monday we had friends over for a cookout. Tuesday afternoon she had soccer practice. P heard us at dinner talking about what she was going to do with her model and asked about the project, leading to a far-from-the-tree moment for him, as he puts it.
She has started working on the model, and had already decided how she was going to do some more difficult aspects of the scene, but he confessed to me this morning his bewilderment and frustration that she had not "wanted to create something spectacular" and started on it Saturday, as he would have done at this age. He feels that giving a full week to work on it means the teachers' expectations are high, and must be met with nothing short of perfection.
I did not, to my credit, say, "Are you delusional?"
Nine-year-old P would have had a scale-model diorama with animated parts, after working on it all weekend to get it perfect and not having to think of it again until he handed it in.
Nine-year-old Lemon would have done it all Thursday night.
Please be aware that I am not advocating the Lemon Method, although I admit being ever-so-slightly smug that I maintained an A/B average throughout college and graduate school without ever writing a second draft. I do not, in fact, recall ever having written a second draft in my life, and when my teachers in high school would suddenly decide to grade us on the entire writing process, I took pains to use my final paper (uh, first draft) as a guide for writing a jot list, outline, and faux "draft" with mistakes. I remember one of my elementary school teachers had a large, red rubber stamp that said DRAFT, and she would sometimes stamp it on our papers even as they hung on the bulletin board for display.
It made me angry, because that wasn't A draft; it was THE draft and if I'd written the damn paper once, why would I write it again? You may roll your eyes and laugh, but if that weren't the case, how did I do so well in college?
I write good drafts.
I don't just sit down and start typing in a frenzy; I spend several days organizing my thoughts in my head and making a mental plan so that when I do write, the words flow more easily. Granted, the words were often flowing along with several pots of coffee at three in the morning, but that's how I work.
So I am not sure which event Little P would have skipped in order to work--Dragon Con parade? Oakland Cemetery scavenger hunt? Sleepover with Mia? Sleepover at Grandma's? Slot car racing? Cookout?--but I know he actually would have considered that book report a priority over one of those. (In fact, when A & M asked if they could have a sleepover at 7 on Saturday, which I had fully anticipated, he said no at the same time I said yes, citing that she'd be at my parents' the next night. I asked if there was a quota on fun to be had in a weekend and he conceded.)
I was--and remain--unconcerned about the book report because I know she is working on it, even if part of the work is in her head. I also know that where P's inclination is to turn in the Best Of The Best, Monster doesn't much care, so long as hers isn't the worst. Smart as she is, girlfriend isn't an academic in it for the love of the process. I know her mind, and she's thinking, Dude, I read the book. What more do you want? Isn't the important part that she did indeed read the book? If she rode a school bus, she'd probably be doing her homework on it as often as I did.
While I am not proud of her for this, I can relate to it, so I am less inclined to get frustrated with her than P is. I do think P's method is better, and likely why he has quite the career in his shiny new corner desk with corner windows while I am home trying to explain to Big Ez that I cannot teach the dogs to whistle.