21.6.12 - our vows
"Dear friends and family, it is a pleasure and privilege to welcome you all on this beautiful summer’s day to celebrate the coming together of two hearts, to celebrate commitment, devotion and love. Julia and Paul are two independent people. However, they feel that with each other they become something more. They challenge each other and support each other. They are companions, and care deeply for each other. As Julia and Paul stand here before you, they are confident that they belong together, it is their wish to share their joys and sorrows. They have found a home in each other: wherever life will take them, no matter what ups and downs they encounter, whatever unexpected twists and turns life throws at them, together they are safe, they are strong.
Paul and Julia met some three years ago in Cambridge and were drawn to each other almost instantly. Julia and Paul find it easy to be with each other, and that’s exactly how it should be. You know you’re in the right place when you feel comfortable and secure to be yourself, when even after years of being together, you still miss being with your loved one whenever they are not around. You know you are with the right person, when there’s open, honest communication between the two of you, and you understand each other nearly instinctively, even if you may be rather different in some respects: Julia is very contemplative and a very analytical thinker, where Paul is hands on and practical. I am sure you will agree when I say that Paul and Julia are meant for each other - they complement one another well. They have a lot of warmth, friendship and humour, and all of that makes for an excellent foundation to build a life-long commitment on.
Love is miraculous and with it comes companionship. What two persons share is something that can never be fully conveyed to anyone else. It is as if the couple has its own cherished treasure, a secret place they alone inhabit. Do not expect your partner to miraculously understand what you’re thinking of if you are not willing to open up. What partners don’t need to say out loud to each other after years spent together, however, is where they are coming from. This intimate understanding is exactly what ties two people together and strengthens the bond between them. Marriage is not an end station. Marriage does not necessarily change anything at all that much. Let it be the beginning, the onset of new adventures and discoveries.
Julia and Paul have asked you all here today to make public their love for each other, to declare their choice to live and grow together - out loud and in the presence of family and friends - hoping that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision to marry. Marriage is the sharing of each other's lives and smiling, laughing and caring with one another. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
They've also come here today in the further hope that this ritual of marriage will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a spouse or partner, please let this day be a reminder - a rededication of your own loving bond.
Julia and Paul, you have told me that it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .
. . . that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned nor possessed . . .
. . . not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .
. . . but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life , all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, and knowledge, all the understanding, nurturing, compassion and strength resides within you . . .
. . . and that you are not marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts that the other might have them in even greater abundance. Is that your firm understanding today?
(They said: "It is.")
Julia and Paul, you have told me that it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means in any way of restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best within you - your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that your firm understanding today?
(They said: "It is.")
Finally, Julia and Paul, you have told me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations but rather as providing opportunities . Opportunities for growth, for full self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, or for healing every false thought you may have of yourself . . .
. . . that this is truly a journey through life with the one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow and search for the good and beautiful things in life. Is that the wish you would enter into now?
(They said: "It is.")
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. It is said that the art of marriage is the little things being the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together to live through the good times and the bad. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but for joy and happiness for one another. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is not owning your partner, but being part of them throughout their life.
Paul, please repeat after me:
I, Paul . . . ask you, Julia . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife . . . I announce and declare my intention. . . to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly who you are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before all those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the best within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the best within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of difficulty may come. It is my intention to be with you forever . . . sharing all that is good between us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.
(The Speaker turned to Julia.)
Julia, do you choose to grant Paul's request that you be his wife?
(She answered: "I do.")
Now Julia, please repeat after me:
I, Julia . . . ask you, Paul . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my husband . . . I announce and declare my intention. . . to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly who you are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before all those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the best within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the best within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of difficulty may come. It is my intention to be with you forever . . . sharing all that is good between us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.
(The Speaker turned to Paul.)
Paul, do you choose to grant Julia's request that you be her husband?
(He answered: "I do.")
It is traditional in marriage to exchange rings as a symbol of eternal love and sharing. In this moment, Julia and Paul choose for it to also be a symbol of unity to show their love and commitment towards each other.
The rings please (best man gave the rings).
Now, Julia, take Paul's hand and repeat after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . .and place it upon your finger… that all may see and know… of my love for you.
Now Paul, take Julia's hand and repeat after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . .and place it upon your finger… that all may see and know… of my love for you.
We recognise with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. No church, nor any power vested by the State, can grant anyone the authority to declare what only two people can proclaim.
And so now, inasmuch as you, Julia, and you, Paul, have declared the truths that you hold dear in the presence of these, your friends and family - we observe joyfully that you have announced yourselves to be husband and wife.
And now the moment we have all been waiting for: the kiss!"
JULIA AND PAUL
Wedding ceremony on a boat outside Helsinki.
21.6.2012
celebrant speaker Susanna Leino from Pro-Seremoniat.
Paul and Julia met some three years ago in Cambridge and were drawn to each other almost instantly. Julia and Paul find it easy to be with each other, and that’s exactly how it should be. You know you’re in the right place when you feel comfortable and secure to be yourself, when even after years of being together, you still miss being with your loved one whenever they are not around. You know you are with the right person, when there’s open, honest communication between the two of you, and you understand each other nearly instinctively, even if you may be rather different in some respects: Julia is very contemplative and a very analytical thinker, where Paul is hands on and practical. I am sure you will agree when I say that Paul and Julia are meant for each other - they complement one another well. They have a lot of warmth, friendship and humour, and all of that makes for an excellent foundation to build a life-long commitment on.
Love is miraculous and with it comes companionship. What two persons share is something that can never be fully conveyed to anyone else. It is as if the couple has its own cherished treasure, a secret place they alone inhabit. Do not expect your partner to miraculously understand what you’re thinking of if you are not willing to open up. What partners don’t need to say out loud to each other after years spent together, however, is where they are coming from. This intimate understanding is exactly what ties two people together and strengthens the bond between them. Marriage is not an end station. Marriage does not necessarily change anything at all that much. Let it be the beginning, the onset of new adventures and discoveries.
Julia and Paul have asked you all here today to make public their love for each other, to declare their choice to live and grow together - out loud and in the presence of family and friends - hoping that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision to marry. Marriage is the sharing of each other's lives and smiling, laughing and caring with one another. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
They've also come here today in the further hope that this ritual of marriage will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a spouse or partner, please let this day be a reminder - a rededication of your own loving bond.
Julia and Paul, you have told me that it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security . . .
. . . that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned nor possessed . . .
. . . not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other . . .
. . . but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life , all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, and knowledge, all the understanding, nurturing, compassion and strength resides within you . . .
. . . and that you are not marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts that the other might have them in even greater abundance. Is that your firm understanding today?
(They said: "It is.")
Julia and Paul, you have told me that it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means in any way of restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best within you - your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that your firm understanding today?
(They said: "It is.")
Finally, Julia and Paul, you have told me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations but rather as providing opportunities . Opportunities for growth, for full self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, or for healing every false thought you may have of yourself . . .
. . . that this is truly a journey through life with the one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow and search for the good and beautiful things in life. Is that the wish you would enter into now?
(They said: "It is.")
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. It is said that the art of marriage is the little things being the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together to live through the good times and the bad. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but for joy and happiness for one another. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is not owning your partner, but being part of them throughout their life.
Paul, please repeat after me:
I, Paul . . . ask you, Julia . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife . . . I announce and declare my intention. . . to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly who you are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before all those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the best within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the best within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of difficulty may come. It is my intention to be with you forever . . . sharing all that is good between us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.
(The Speaker turned to Julia.)
Julia, do you choose to grant Paul's request that you be his wife?
(She answered: "I do.")
Now Julia, please repeat after me:
I, Julia . . . ask you, Paul . . . to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my husband . . . I announce and declare my intention. . . to give you my deepest friendship and love . . . not only when your moments are high . . . but when they are low . . . not only when you remember clearly who you are . . . but when you forget . . . not only when you are acting with love . . . but when you are not . . . I further announce . . . before all those here present . . . that I will seek always to see the best within you . . . and seek always to share . . . the best within me . . . even, and especially . . . in whatever moments of difficulty may come. It is my intention to be with you forever . . . sharing all that is good between us . . . with all those whose lives we touch.
(The Speaker turned to Paul.)
Paul, do you choose to grant Julia's request that you be her husband?
(He answered: "I do.")
It is traditional in marriage to exchange rings as a symbol of eternal love and sharing. In this moment, Julia and Paul choose for it to also be a symbol of unity to show their love and commitment towards each other.
The rings please (best man gave the rings).
Now, Julia, take Paul's hand and repeat after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . .and place it upon your finger… that all may see and know… of my love for you.
Now Paul, take Julia's hand and repeat after me: With this ring . . . I thee wed . . .and place it upon your finger… that all may see and know… of my love for you.
We recognise with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. No church, nor any power vested by the State, can grant anyone the authority to declare what only two people can proclaim.
And so now, inasmuch as you, Julia, and you, Paul, have declared the truths that you hold dear in the presence of these, your friends and family - we observe joyfully that you have announced yourselves to be husband and wife.
And now the moment we have all been waiting for: the kiss!"
JULIA AND PAUL
Wedding ceremony on a boat outside Helsinki.
21.6.2012
celebrant speaker Susanna Leino from Pro-Seremoniat.