(no subject)

[leggydechacha]

There are days when I feel like I can do anything and then there are days when I feel like I can do nothing. Today is a mixed day. I feel like I am doing something I never thought I could do and I am genuinely surprised that I've made it this far. I'm look at less than two months from meeting my goal of being single for a year. No one thought I could make it to here even, I know I didn't. When I said I would be single for a year, I know that most people rolled their eyes and said "she's said this before...give it a few months" and at times, I thought I might give up and give in to things that were before me. Now with my goal so close and in sight, I am determined to make the most of this time. I mean, right now I don't even know if I want to find someone after it's over to get "serious" with. I mean, sure it'd be nice to know that someone loves me like that but at the same time, with every love comes a heartbreak, and I don't want to deal with that. I mean, even the lifetime loves end in heartbreak sooner or later. One of you is going to die someday, ya know. I had a hard time dealing with losing people I had grown to love after just a year so I can't imagine spending an entire lifetime with someone, only to lose them. I sound like a heartless bitch right now but I'm not. I just have had my heart broken too many times.

I want to hang out with guys and get to know them and if something happens and I do find that one, then so be it. I'm just not going to be actively looking for "the one" and have no plans to for a very long time.