pretty and neat...not me.
listening to fiona apple. i love her music. shes awesome.
i still havent talked to sam.
me and dave and eric went to CrackerBarrel on saturday for a subaru meet. is was so much better than the first one which was back in january or something. this time we actually sat with other people and talked to them. i know, i know...wierd. we didnt have much money so i just got biscuits and a root beer and dave got a chicken salad sandwich. there was this asian kid sitting across from us wearing armani and the waiter was asking us what we wanted to drink and the kid was like "do you have shirley temples?" and the waiter said no. and the kid went "pshhh...water." and me and dave couldnt hepl but laugh. this kid acted like he was so fuckin special or something.
^^^heres a picture from the meet. after we ate we went to a hotel parking lot so they could all take pictures to post on their club website. daves is the bright red one and the dark blue one next to his is erics. and the silver one next to erics is this kid who lives in weymouth mass...hes a short little asian kid. hes kinda chubby but hes really nice. so i can honestly say that it was pretty fun. good times.
my fucking head is killing me. nothing like waking up with a migraine.
ive been thinking about making a lamp...i said this like a month or so ago that i was going to but i never did. but i think i really am this time. sams mom gave me old forks and spoons and i have a ton of stuff laying around that i could just add to it. im going to sawder it all together. i just need the lamp kit for the part where the light bulb goes in and the cord to plug in and what not.
im wearing my black cashmere button up shirt thing. i dont know what its called. but i forgot that i had it. me and dave have atleast 13 loads of laundry to do but dont have any money to do our clothes with. =( so until we get money its wearing all the clothes that i dont wear unless its down to nothing.
ashley let me borrow a few of her books around christmas time and i started reading "Stiff...the curious lives of human cadavers" by Mary Roach but i couldnt get into it because some of it is so...medical. likei couldnt understand what she was talking about but the thing is i want to read it...i love stuff like this.
i bought a little tree in december...and its dying. if not already dead. which makes me kinda upset cuz i hate when things of mine die. its very important that i did not kill it. very important. i used to have a pet rat..Penny. and she ate her water bottle. i say that she didnt like me so she offed herself. that made me feel like shit. i still miss her and this was like over a year ago that it happened.
the dane cook show is less than 40 days away...im really excited. and then 10 days after dane cook is mine and daves 2 year anniversary. can ya believe it?? i cant. i really honestly cant but then again i can. cuz two years is a long time. and thats two years of malicious fights, backstabbing, but also two years of making up and of our love getting stronger. hopefully we dont ever fight again like the fights we had over last summer. the worst fucking summer of my entire life i can honestly say. im very antsy about this coming summer...i just want it to be so much better than last years. i want a ton more happiness and no crying unless its from being overly happy.
daves playing video games and i dont really know what to do with myself. so maybe ill just keep writing.
saturday was my moms 38th birthday. i didnt call. or write. i just...thought about it. and i didnt feel it necassary to tell her happy birthday because i got a boot in the ass right out the door for my last birthday. and i tried to be nice to her. after all that happened. and she was kinda nice back...like she would call me to see how im doing but then if i said something or wutever she would turn into the drunk raging psycho that i know all to well. she knew that i wasnt going to call to say happy birthday...but in knowing this i wanted to prove her wrong. but i didnt. i just thought all fuckin day long on saturday about her past birthdays and how i tried to make her happy and how i had always listened to her when she needed someone to talk to and bitch to about my stepdad because he was coming home late and drunk and the times when he wasnt giving her money to help with bills and he was letting his employers (he has his own little business) pay him through beer and other alcohol. but when i needed someone there for me. she wasnt there. when i needed a mother. she was fuckin there. she was lost in her alcoholic high. she was lost in drunkeness. cocked off her ass every night...ever since she met jeff...my step dad. he came into her life and thats when everything that me and my mother ever had was lost. it was crushed and stomped on and never again did she look back at it. my parents broke up when i was 3 and a half, my brother was a newborn. my mom left him and took me and marc with her. we moved into my uncles and slept on the floor. my mom went to work and left me and marc with the babysitter who wouldnt feed me and didnt give a shit about me. but marc got what he needed and that was my main concern..that marc was taken care of. then she started going out with guys from work. one of them took me out for ice cream. i got it all over his nice car. i think it was a corvette. but he didnt care...he was banging my mom. she slept with all these guys (the reason that my parents broke up anyways...she was cheatin on him...she would come home with hickeys and smelling like other guys and my dad had had enough. my dad was an alcoholic so that didnt help anything either.). then jeff came in the picture and out i went. my mom used to be so pretty and loving. with jeff came the alcohol, the drunk sex in the living room and the abuse towards me...her ex husbands child. i was only a check to her. i missed the old her. and i still do. but when she looks at me she sees my dad...who isnt an alcoholic anymore. he has had a drink in like 10 years or something. i havent talked to him in months. so here i am now...in my new home. daves home. and sometimes i cant help but feel like im just here. but thats a whole nother entry.
im gonna go make myself a corn dog.
i still havent talked to sam.
me and dave and eric went to CrackerBarrel on saturday for a subaru meet. is was so much better than the first one which was back in january or something. this time we actually sat with other people and talked to them. i know, i know...wierd. we didnt have much money so i just got biscuits and a root beer and dave got a chicken salad sandwich. there was this asian kid sitting across from us wearing armani and the waiter was asking us what we wanted to drink and the kid was like "do you have shirley temples?" and the waiter said no. and the kid went "pshhh...water." and me and dave couldnt hepl but laugh. this kid acted like he was so fuckin special or something.
^^^heres a picture from the meet. after we ate we went to a hotel parking lot so they could all take pictures to post on their club website. daves is the bright red one and the dark blue one next to his is erics. and the silver one next to erics is this kid who lives in weymouth mass...hes a short little asian kid. hes kinda chubby but hes really nice. so i can honestly say that it was pretty fun. good times.
my fucking head is killing me. nothing like waking up with a migraine.
ive been thinking about making a lamp...i said this like a month or so ago that i was going to but i never did. but i think i really am this time. sams mom gave me old forks and spoons and i have a ton of stuff laying around that i could just add to it. im going to sawder it all together. i just need the lamp kit for the part where the light bulb goes in and the cord to plug in and what not.
im wearing my black cashmere button up shirt thing. i dont know what its called. but i forgot that i had it. me and dave have atleast 13 loads of laundry to do but dont have any money to do our clothes with. =( so until we get money its wearing all the clothes that i dont wear unless its down to nothing.
ashley let me borrow a few of her books around christmas time and i started reading "Stiff...the curious lives of human cadavers" by Mary Roach but i couldnt get into it because some of it is so...medical. likei couldnt understand what she was talking about but the thing is i want to read it...i love stuff like this.
i bought a little tree in december...and its dying. if not already dead. which makes me kinda upset cuz i hate when things of mine die. its very important that i did not kill it. very important. i used to have a pet rat..Penny. and she ate her water bottle. i say that she didnt like me so she offed herself. that made me feel like shit. i still miss her and this was like over a year ago that it happened.
the dane cook show is less than 40 days away...im really excited. and then 10 days after dane cook is mine and daves 2 year anniversary. can ya believe it?? i cant. i really honestly cant but then again i can. cuz two years is a long time. and thats two years of malicious fights, backstabbing, but also two years of making up and of our love getting stronger. hopefully we dont ever fight again like the fights we had over last summer. the worst fucking summer of my entire life i can honestly say. im very antsy about this coming summer...i just want it to be so much better than last years. i want a ton more happiness and no crying unless its from being overly happy.
daves playing video games and i dont really know what to do with myself. so maybe ill just keep writing.
saturday was my moms 38th birthday. i didnt call. or write. i just...thought about it. and i didnt feel it necassary to tell her happy birthday because i got a boot in the ass right out the door for my last birthday. and i tried to be nice to her. after all that happened. and she was kinda nice back...like she would call me to see how im doing but then if i said something or wutever she would turn into the drunk raging psycho that i know all to well. she knew that i wasnt going to call to say happy birthday...but in knowing this i wanted to prove her wrong. but i didnt. i just thought all fuckin day long on saturday about her past birthdays and how i tried to make her happy and how i had always listened to her when she needed someone to talk to and bitch to about my stepdad because he was coming home late and drunk and the times when he wasnt giving her money to help with bills and he was letting his employers (he has his own little business) pay him through beer and other alcohol. but when i needed someone there for me. she wasnt there. when i needed a mother. she was fuckin there. she was lost in her alcoholic high. she was lost in drunkeness. cocked off her ass every night...ever since she met jeff...my step dad. he came into her life and thats when everything that me and my mother ever had was lost. it was crushed and stomped on and never again did she look back at it. my parents broke up when i was 3 and a half, my brother was a newborn. my mom left him and took me and marc with her. we moved into my uncles and slept on the floor. my mom went to work and left me and marc with the babysitter who wouldnt feed me and didnt give a shit about me. but marc got what he needed and that was my main concern..that marc was taken care of. then she started going out with guys from work. one of them took me out for ice cream. i got it all over his nice car. i think it was a corvette. but he didnt care...he was banging my mom. she slept with all these guys (the reason that my parents broke up anyways...she was cheatin on him...she would come home with hickeys and smelling like other guys and my dad had had enough. my dad was an alcoholic so that didnt help anything either.). then jeff came in the picture and out i went. my mom used to be so pretty and loving. with jeff came the alcohol, the drunk sex in the living room and the abuse towards me...her ex husbands child. i was only a check to her. i missed the old her. and i still do. but when she looks at me she sees my dad...who isnt an alcoholic anymore. he has had a drink in like 10 years or something. i havent talked to him in months. so here i am now...in my new home. daves home. and sometimes i cant help but feel like im just here. but thats a whole nother entry.
im gonna go make myself a corn dog.