(no subject)
my daddy called me the other day and left a voice mail saying that he just wanted to say 'hi' and hoped i was doing good and that he loves me and when i get his message to call him back. i still havent called him back. i miss him. i do. i miss my brother. i havent seen him since my birthday...october 20th...i talk to him every once in a while but i cant call that much because when i do my mother either picks up the phone or after my brother is done talking to me my mother gets on the phone and its like she pretends that shes my best friend. i hate it. she asks how im doing and how school is going and am i happy where i am...its such bullshit...if she honestly cared about me then she wouldnt have fuckin kicked me out on my fuckin 18th birthday with no job and she wouldnt have taken me off of the fuckin insurance. fuck her...ya know? all shes doin is playin head games with me. and its fuckin my head up. everytime i talk to her i end up crying. i hate crying. i have cried so many fuckin times in my life and i just dont want to anymore. i wish there was a way to talk to my brother without fuckin talkin to my mother too. it just really fucks me up.
im watchin cops...well i was flippin through the channels and stopped at cops cuz its daves favorite show.
i didnt finish my story...my mind has just been fuckin racing a million thoughts a minute and its fuckin drivin me crazy...i cant concentrate on anything. the only reason that i am able to write all this is cuz its like therapy...just no one speaks back. i can say whateverthefuck i want. its easy to say everything that is on my mind...i suppose this would be the purpose of a journal. duuuuh.
my science teacher hates me. but its ok cuz i hate her too. the thing is i was in a hard class...too hard...so i got transferred into a comprehensive class and the way she talks to my old class and the way she talks to my new class is so different. she talks like we are all retarded or something. its really annoying and i just want to scream in her face cuz she talks to us like we're little babies...im surprised that she hasnt said "koo-chee-koo-chee-kooo". DUMB DUMB DUMB BITCH.
in art major theres a field trip next wednesday...i didnt have the money to go. i wish i could though. theyre going to see mansions that are all decorated for christmas and stuff. the truth is that i didnt even ask dave or his mom for money for it...it was 20 bucks...and i didnt want to be greedy.
oh my god...they just showed a guy that commited suicide in a park next to the lake. he shot himself in the head. thats so awful. i feel really wierd now. i feel upset. i feel sick to my stomach. i feel...wierd. i really dont want to talk about it anymore...
hmm...9:30. im really not tired. i went to bed at 12 last night and got up fine this morning. the only reason that i was late for school was because the alarm volume was turned all the way down. i woke up at 6:30...i have to walk to the bus stop at 6:40. so...dave drove me. i didnt make it to homeroom so i was probably on the absent list. ill have to straighten that out tomoro with mr. wales (doosh). he such a crappy old fart. haha...crappy...fart...old...old crappy fart. yeah...i ges im tired cuz im talkin stupid.
dave and ian are talking about "dukes of hazzard" the one with the dumb bitch... i mean jessica simpson. theyre like "i just want to see it cuz of the general lee". BULLSHIT!!! as soon as dave saw jessica simpsons music video for that movie he downloaded it onto his computer so he could watch it anyfuckintime he wanted to. i hate the way guys are always like SEX-SEX-PUSSY-SEX-CARS-ASS-SEX-CARS-SEX-SEX-TITS-CARS-SEX-CARS...well its the way dave and his friends are anyways...drives me fuckin crazy. it appears like they have no minds or souls. theres only two modes that they go in...ASSHOLE mode and DESTROY mode...but along with being assholes and wanting to destroy things comes SEX-SEX-PUSSY-SEX-CARS-ASS-SEX-CARS-SEX-SEX-TITS-CARS-SEX-CARS. there are more things to life than what they talk about...but i dont think they know that. when dave isnt around anybody else...we do talk about actual things...and its like hes human...but as soon as his friends are around-BAM-its dave who i dont know...who i dont want to be around...who i dont know how to talk to...who i dont know how to act around. it sucks. and the weekend before last weekend he was letting his friends look up/download/watch beastiality and child porn. PISS ME OFF. and the thing is he was sitting with them while they did it...so yeah...how fucked up is that?? and we fought about it...cuz i got ripshit and walked outa the house and went to sams. i dont want to be in the fuckin house if i know people are gonna fuckin look that shit up. i was not impressed at all.
before debbie cooked supper all i had to eat all day was two little cups of apple sauce, a pack of gummy fruits and a small cupcake. i need to weigh myself...
i forgot my cellfone today...and the thing is as soon as i discovered that i forgot it i reached in my front pocket...where i usually keep it...to text dave to tell him that i forgot my fone. get it? yeah thats right- Cheryl Ann is a dummy.
i have so much shit on my mind...but i dont feel like staring at a fuckin computer screen anymore.
=PEACE=
im watchin cops...well i was flippin through the channels and stopped at cops cuz its daves favorite show.
i didnt finish my story...my mind has just been fuckin racing a million thoughts a minute and its fuckin drivin me crazy...i cant concentrate on anything. the only reason that i am able to write all this is cuz its like therapy...just no one speaks back. i can say whateverthefuck i want. its easy to say everything that is on my mind...i suppose this would be the purpose of a journal. duuuuh.
my science teacher hates me. but its ok cuz i hate her too. the thing is i was in a hard class...too hard...so i got transferred into a comprehensive class and the way she talks to my old class and the way she talks to my new class is so different. she talks like we are all retarded or something. its really annoying and i just want to scream in her face cuz she talks to us like we're little babies...im surprised that she hasnt said "koo-chee-koo-chee-kooo". DUMB DUMB DUMB BITCH.
in art major theres a field trip next wednesday...i didnt have the money to go. i wish i could though. theyre going to see mansions that are all decorated for christmas and stuff. the truth is that i didnt even ask dave or his mom for money for it...it was 20 bucks...and i didnt want to be greedy.
oh my god...they just showed a guy that commited suicide in a park next to the lake. he shot himself in the head. thats so awful. i feel really wierd now. i feel upset. i feel sick to my stomach. i feel...wierd. i really dont want to talk about it anymore...
hmm...9:30. im really not tired. i went to bed at 12 last night and got up fine this morning. the only reason that i was late for school was because the alarm volume was turned all the way down. i woke up at 6:30...i have to walk to the bus stop at 6:40. so...dave drove me. i didnt make it to homeroom so i was probably on the absent list. ill have to straighten that out tomoro with mr. wales (doosh). he such a crappy old fart. haha...crappy...fart...old...old crappy fart. yeah...i ges im tired cuz im talkin stupid.
dave and ian are talking about "dukes of hazzard" the one with the dumb bitch... i mean jessica simpson. theyre like "i just want to see it cuz of the general lee". BULLSHIT!!! as soon as dave saw jessica simpsons music video for that movie he downloaded it onto his computer so he could watch it anyfuckintime he wanted to. i hate the way guys are always like SEX-SEX-PUSSY-SEX-CARS-ASS-SEX-CARS-SEX-SEX-TITS-CARS-SEX-CARS...well its the way dave and his friends are anyways...drives me fuckin crazy. it appears like they have no minds or souls. theres only two modes that they go in...ASSHOLE mode and DESTROY mode...but along with being assholes and wanting to destroy things comes SEX-SEX-PUSSY-SEX-CARS-ASS-SEX-CARS-SEX-SEX-TITS-CARS-SEX-CARS. there are more things to life than what they talk about...but i dont think they know that. when dave isnt around anybody else...we do talk about actual things...and its like hes human...but as soon as his friends are around-BAM-its dave who i dont know...who i dont want to be around...who i dont know how to talk to...who i dont know how to act around. it sucks. and the weekend before last weekend he was letting his friends look up/download/watch beastiality and child porn. PISS ME OFF. and the thing is he was sitting with them while they did it...so yeah...how fucked up is that?? and we fought about it...cuz i got ripshit and walked outa the house and went to sams. i dont want to be in the fuckin house if i know people are gonna fuckin look that shit up. i was not impressed at all.
before debbie cooked supper all i had to eat all day was two little cups of apple sauce, a pack of gummy fruits and a small cupcake. i need to weigh myself...
i forgot my cellfone today...and the thing is as soon as i discovered that i forgot it i reached in my front pocket...where i usually keep it...to text dave to tell him that i forgot my fone. get it? yeah thats right- Cheryl Ann is a dummy.
i have so much shit on my mind...but i dont feel like staring at a fuckin computer screen anymore.
=PEACE=