(no subject)
i dont why i let him get to me. apparently nothing fazes him. he has no conscience. and of course he has to be the first man i have ever loved. as if my fucking brain wasnt fucked up enough lets deal with this asshole.
we should have cut off all ties when we broke up. we should of not had sex whenever we felt like it. i should have never loved him the way i did. now everyday my heart breaks a little more. and i cant avoid him because hes always there. he turned into one of the worst best friends i have ever had. and it kills me inside. knowing im not worthy of any love. knowing his actions and words have such an effect on me. knowing this feeling in the pit of my stomach is because of him and everyday theres another tear and another horrid dream of what was and what could be. and him loving someone else. whats so wrong with me? why does everyone refuse to love me?
fuck love. i wish i could go back 2, 3 years when i was my own person who couldnt let anyone touch me.
now im just like you.
we should have cut off all ties when we broke up. we should of not had sex whenever we felt like it. i should have never loved him the way i did. now everyday my heart breaks a little more. and i cant avoid him because hes always there. he turned into one of the worst best friends i have ever had. and it kills me inside. knowing im not worthy of any love. knowing his actions and words have such an effect on me. knowing this feeling in the pit of my stomach is because of him and everyday theres another tear and another horrid dream of what was and what could be. and him loving someone else. whats so wrong with me? why does everyone refuse to love me?
fuck love. i wish i could go back 2, 3 years when i was my own person who couldnt let anyone touch me.
now im just like you.