flirting/sex blog
for a little while there i was worried.
i mean, shit, wtf?
then i realized it: oh, i'm nervous.
i had a refreshing bit of insight from my dear friend F who reminded me that it is completely expected that certain people may bring out certain aspects of one's personality. Take that to an extreme and zoom in on crazy me.
i was wondering WTF i was up to with this whole boy-dating thing. i mean, what IS my motivation? sex? fun? manipulation? torment? a combination? i'm gathering it is a combination of two, if not three of those options, and some more mush.
i commented to F that sometimes in my flirting styles i cross boundaries that i thought i had, but i have no actual qualm with crossing those imaginary lines. she commented that i likely had developed those boundary lines for contexts that i was usually in, so thus had incorrectly assumed it to be the rule.
oh, you wanted specifics? ok, let's see.
-i squish in sexual innuendos in all sorts of inappropriate places
-i raise my eye brows suggestively (double quick raise, ya know..?)
-i hold eye contact longer than is necessary
-i rest my hands on people and take any opportunity to touch them
hey, those dont seem risky or even overbearing. sweet. i sound pretty good on paper.
i can only assure you that my flirting can be obtrusive and blatant. especially with boys. to me, it becomes an entire language of interacting with someone. never missing an opportunity for a quick compliment, a jab, a pull-aside, or an innuendo.
enough of that flirting stuff.. moving onto the...
----------------------------------
..sex!
---------------------------------
me and becks were on a dry spell, that is, a week and a half of no sex. more accurately, i didnt want sex, and becks got plenty. i had been feeling particularly un-sexy despite the come-ons from becks and the slippery, soapy naked showers that suggested otherwise. that being said, i felt emo and sad and little and pathetic and a bit lonely . i think it was directly related to my realization that i really need to work my ass off at CAL to even mildly succeed and that's a fuckload of work. yes, i said a fuckload. yes, that's a technical term.
ok, to the sex:
since i had been declining (much to the distress and frustration of becks), i sort of worked up a routine with becks that she seemed particularly fond of. now usually, i focus on just following her signals and doing what feels right next, knowing a couple of her favorite moves and when they usually are called for. during the half-dry-spell i started trying out a routine, well, sort of. i guess you could say i started trying to develop a routine. from zero to orgasm in less than 20 minutes! heh heh
i should insert another bit in here: i've been told by numerous sex partners that i get a look of sheer determination and seriousness during sex (well, when i'm giving and not receiving) that rivals my "idiot glare" that idiots get when they do stupid stuff. it's a glaring cold look that has made some of my lovers sit up in all seriousness and ask if *i'm* ok. ..i have to laugh..
well, i guess i really *was* concentrating, instead of just looking the part, because i developed this interesting routine of moves with her that fuckin' blew her mind.
it was great when i started fingering her in the shower and fucked her until we were prunes and overheated, then we got out, dried off, and i pushed her onto the couch (she didnt contest, only commented that there was some neck available for me) and so i fucked her again. this time much more aggressively than usual, not letting her squirm away or pull herself back. i held onto her back and forced her to take it. probably the lack of sex on my part made me a little crazy, but i still didnt really want it for myself.
later that night my half of the dryspell ended as i pulled her hand over to the lining of my panties under the darkness of our covers and requested an underwear inspection, saying that i was overdue for one.
she jumped at the chance, and before i knew it the underwear inspection was well underway - the panties proved unworthy and ended their night on the floor, as they do in all successful underwear inspections.
Funny, how i got this "heart quiz" thingy. i wonder how/if it is related. somewhat. kinda.
---------------------------------------------------
Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.
Your flirting style: Friendly
Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe
Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish
What you bring to relationships: Loyalty
i mean, shit, wtf?
then i realized it: oh, i'm nervous.
i had a refreshing bit of insight from my dear friend F who reminded me that it is completely expected that certain people may bring out certain aspects of one's personality. Take that to an extreme and zoom in on crazy me.
i was wondering WTF i was up to with this whole boy-dating thing. i mean, what IS my motivation? sex? fun? manipulation? torment? a combination? i'm gathering it is a combination of two, if not three of those options, and some more mush.
i commented to F that sometimes in my flirting styles i cross boundaries that i thought i had, but i have no actual qualm with crossing those imaginary lines. she commented that i likely had developed those boundary lines for contexts that i was usually in, so thus had incorrectly assumed it to be the rule.
oh, you wanted specifics? ok, let's see.
-i squish in sexual innuendos in all sorts of inappropriate places
-i raise my eye brows suggestively (double quick raise, ya know..?)
-i hold eye contact longer than is necessary
-i rest my hands on people and take any opportunity to touch them
hey, those dont seem risky or even overbearing. sweet. i sound pretty good on paper.
i can only assure you that my flirting can be obtrusive and blatant. especially with boys. to me, it becomes an entire language of interacting with someone. never missing an opportunity for a quick compliment, a jab, a pull-aside, or an innuendo.
enough of that flirting stuff.. moving onto the...
----------------------------------
..sex!
---------------------------------
me and becks were on a dry spell, that is, a week and a half of no sex. more accurately, i didnt want sex, and becks got plenty. i had been feeling particularly un-sexy despite the come-ons from becks and the slippery, soapy naked showers that suggested otherwise. that being said, i felt emo and sad and little and pathetic and a bit lonely . i think it was directly related to my realization that i really need to work my ass off at CAL to even mildly succeed and that's a fuckload of work. yes, i said a fuckload. yes, that's a technical term.
ok, to the sex:
since i had been declining (much to the distress and frustration of becks), i sort of worked up a routine with becks that she seemed particularly fond of. now usually, i focus on just following her signals and doing what feels right next, knowing a couple of her favorite moves and when they usually are called for. during the half-dry-spell i started trying out a routine, well, sort of. i guess you could say i started trying to develop a routine. from zero to orgasm in less than 20 minutes! heh heh
i should insert another bit in here: i've been told by numerous sex partners that i get a look of sheer determination and seriousness during sex (well, when i'm giving and not receiving) that rivals my "idiot glare" that idiots get when they do stupid stuff. it's a glaring cold look that has made some of my lovers sit up in all seriousness and ask if *i'm* ok. ..i have to laugh..
well, i guess i really *was* concentrating, instead of just looking the part, because i developed this interesting routine of moves with her that fuckin' blew her mind.
it was great when i started fingering her in the shower and fucked her until we were prunes and overheated, then we got out, dried off, and i pushed her onto the couch (she didnt contest, only commented that there was some neck available for me) and so i fucked her again. this time much more aggressively than usual, not letting her squirm away or pull herself back. i held onto her back and forced her to take it. probably the lack of sex on my part made me a little crazy, but i still didnt really want it for myself.
later that night my half of the dryspell ended as i pulled her hand over to the lining of my panties under the darkness of our covers and requested an underwear inspection, saying that i was overdue for one.
she jumped at the chance, and before i knew it the underwear inspection was well underway - the panties proved unworthy and ended their night on the floor, as they do in all successful underwear inspections.
Funny, how i got this "heart quiz" thingy. i wonder how/if it is related. somewhat. kinda.
---------------------------------------------------
Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well.
You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return.
Your flirting style: Friendly
Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe
Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish
What you bring to relationships: Loyalty