(no subject)
Okay well today is probably going to be my last post for the next two weekause im leaving for flordia tomorrow. I dont wanna go but i kinda do. im gonna miss the good things but it will be good to get away from the bad things even though you cant really get away from bad things. I cried a lot last night like a lot I felt very alone and i finally let everything out to daniel he made me feel alot better. then i woke up early this mornin to goto the chicken picken and spent all day up there with him. he didnt seem to happy to be around me but then agian he said he wasnt feeling to good so you know. o and i did a good thing. he asked if it was ok if he went to say hey to kaitland and you know me being all paranoid and bad thoughts all the time well i told him it was ok which was kinda hard for me to do cause you know i wasnt to happy about it but he did and the world didnt end i hope he understands that it was a big deal for me to make myself be ok with that i know it shouldnt be but it was. neways he brought me home and his mom pissed him off i guess and he yelled at me to get out of the truck and i was trying to calm him down and be like baby so then he said now so against my better judgemnet i got out. i would have loved to stay there and try to make things better but he says he likes to be alone and it will cause less problems if i just leave him alone so i tried it we will see how it works out. i fell kinda bad though cause he called me to tell me that he was ok and then him phone started ringing and he was like i have to go. i dunno its just my bad thoughts getting to me again it was probably him brother or sumthing bnow he isnt even answering me online. what a way to end the last time we will see each other for two weeks huh. i mean today may not have been like a goodbye to him cause hes not going anywhere but it was to me and i dont know its ok ill talk to him later and everything will be fine. i ate a lot today at the chicken picken and learned about cars a lil. I saw a lot of my friends to. I think im gonna start hanging out with friends again i mean i love to spend all of my time with daniel i really do but i think he likes it better when we arent together so much and plus i said that when we got back together i wasnt going to make him my whole life and i have again im gonna try to change that i think we are happier together like that and im happier bc my mood doesnt depend on him. i really need to learn how to live for myself and i will.