(no subject)
well, i fucked up big time.
turns out kicking was alot harder than i thought.
it took a night in gun club and a felony charge to get me on the strait and narrow.
i havnt slept, i feel like complete shit. i am in mad withdrawal.
but im strong and i will persevere.
man, anyone whos reading this, take my advice and avoid addictive substances, you become a slave to yourself.
ive hurt so many people in these past 4 months, and its all such a blur too me.
my parents, my friends, everyone. i let them all down. i treated them like shit and nothing mattered as long as i got high. and i aint talkin bout weed.
im just now realizing how out of my mind i actually was. and its really scary to look back and realize that i honestly thought i did not have a problem. the urge to slide that fucking pill down that foil is kicking me in the balls. but it will go away soon. besides. i cant fuck up. if i fail these piss tests i go strait back to jail. and let me tell you, jail is worse than you could imagine.
its not like u get assraped or beat, in county noone really fucks with you, but thats not the problem.
its the loss of freedom, the freezing cold, the shackles, not knowing what the fuck is going to happen to you. all i wanted to do was go home but i was stuck in a cold cold place. not to mention if i actually get convicted of that felony my life is FUCKED.
i can imagine it would be extremely difficult to get a job with a felony conviction on your record.
im so sorry, to everyone who i hurt, and to myself.
ive got alot of wrongs to right.
turns out kicking was alot harder than i thought.
it took a night in gun club and a felony charge to get me on the strait and narrow.
i havnt slept, i feel like complete shit. i am in mad withdrawal.
but im strong and i will persevere.
man, anyone whos reading this, take my advice and avoid addictive substances, you become a slave to yourself.
ive hurt so many people in these past 4 months, and its all such a blur too me.
my parents, my friends, everyone. i let them all down. i treated them like shit and nothing mattered as long as i got high. and i aint talkin bout weed.
im just now realizing how out of my mind i actually was. and its really scary to look back and realize that i honestly thought i did not have a problem. the urge to slide that fucking pill down that foil is kicking me in the balls. but it will go away soon. besides. i cant fuck up. if i fail these piss tests i go strait back to jail. and let me tell you, jail is worse than you could imagine.
its not like u get assraped or beat, in county noone really fucks with you, but thats not the problem.
its the loss of freedom, the freezing cold, the shackles, not knowing what the fuck is going to happen to you. all i wanted to do was go home but i was stuck in a cold cold place. not to mention if i actually get convicted of that felony my life is FUCKED.
i can imagine it would be extremely difficult to get a job with a felony conviction on your record.
im so sorry, to everyone who i hurt, and to myself.
ive got alot of wrongs to right.