(no subject)
So it seems like the only time i update on here is when i have something to complain about or when i'm upset or frustrated. I'm failing four out of my seven classes and i've missed six days of school. This morning i just completely broke down..i think it's the first time i've seriously cried in years. I woke up late and my dad was being a dick again and kept telling me i was going to walk to school..i just can't take shit like that and i broke down crying and just thinkng about how fucked up my life is right now. Everything really shouldn't be that big of a deal..and i shouldn't be stressing so much..but when my parents are hounding me all day, everyday about money and my grades and how i need to be more respnosible, it gets to a point where i just can't take it anymore. i know it would all be easier if i just got my act together but i hate changing and admitting i'm wrong. I pretty much have given up on everything in my life and just go through the motions to make it seem like i'm still alive. i keep thinkng that everything will be ok when i get my license and i dont have to ride the bus to school and when i can just drive alone when i need to get away from all the shit in my life. I'm not sure if that's a realistic assumption..but i'm hoping it is..cause i seriously can't deal with my life this way. So i babysat tonight and i got 20 bucks..woohoo. I think i'm going to go apply for a job at smoothie king tomorrow cause Spencer and I went there today and got some smoothies and they are hiring..so they said just come n tomorrow and i could be interviewed on the spot. I think i am going to apply at Buckle too..and maybe some other stores in the mall..but we'll see. I have three reasons that i want a job..1) to get my parents off my back about the phone bill..2) so i can get my license asap and drive to school cause i have to get to my job..and 3) so i can hopefully have some spending money for myself. My birthday party is this weekend and hopefully it goes well..there are a lot of people that can't make it..but i hope there is still a good turnout. The next weekend is chrysalis..and i'm a little apprehensive..but i guess i will be ok. Ok well i am extremely tired so i'm going to sleep. Later.