Dream
I am clever in my procrastination, as many of the fine details have escaped. I am glad, I was not a happy dreamer, and it wasn’t a comfortable dream. So it’s in bits and pieces. Not linear. Though I am not so sure it was linear to begin with!
The scenario was an appointment day, but MGF's house/office was a log cabin off in the woods, and it was snowing. Her office was upstairs, and below her family was getting the place winterized because they were going to be going on vacation. And the sound traveled well, to the point I could hear actually conversations. Which made me whisper because I didn’t want to be heard in return. Which made MGF very angry with me because she couldn’t hear me. And I broke. Begged her to let my try harder to be heard. But I couldn’t raise my voice. So I was trying to write my words instead, and it was coming out in Gaelic, which she of course doesn’t read, so she told me to just go, as she really should be with her family anyway.
I tried to crawl into her lap and was told that wasn’t appropriate, I am a mature adult and the only person of age who belonged in her lap was her wife.
So I jumped out the window.
And just ran into the snow and trees, letting everything cut me with no care. Because there was nowhere for me to go. What I was trying to tell MGF was that I had lost everything, R had thrown me out (and burned all my bears), my parents were shamed of me, and my friends… Weren’t available.
And then I woke up with tears on my face, and very cold.
I think I am having issues with being heard, eh? :)
On the flip, I had a very odd dream about trying to get somewhere in NYC (I'll spare you the details, and just give the funny part) and passed a street vendor with funny shirts. The one that caught my eye had a picture of Sesame Street characters on it - Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Ernie were playing with "boy toys" - guns and trucks (Bert was playing kitchen, but we already know how he is) - and Grover was coming towards them wearing a dress and heels and make-up with a thought bubble that said "I think I'm gay". The others had a collective thought bubble that said "At least he's finally out"
Symbolic? LOL
The scenario was an appointment day, but MGF's house/office was a log cabin off in the woods, and it was snowing. Her office was upstairs, and below her family was getting the place winterized because they were going to be going on vacation. And the sound traveled well, to the point I could hear actually conversations. Which made me whisper because I didn’t want to be heard in return. Which made MGF very angry with me because she couldn’t hear me. And I broke. Begged her to let my try harder to be heard. But I couldn’t raise my voice. So I was trying to write my words instead, and it was coming out in Gaelic, which she of course doesn’t read, so she told me to just go, as she really should be with her family anyway.
I tried to crawl into her lap and was told that wasn’t appropriate, I am a mature adult and the only person of age who belonged in her lap was her wife.
So I jumped out the window.
And just ran into the snow and trees, letting everything cut me with no care. Because there was nowhere for me to go. What I was trying to tell MGF was that I had lost everything, R had thrown me out (and burned all my bears), my parents were shamed of me, and my friends… Weren’t available.
And then I woke up with tears on my face, and very cold.
I think I am having issues with being heard, eh? :)
On the flip, I had a very odd dream about trying to get somewhere in NYC (I'll spare you the details, and just give the funny part) and passed a street vendor with funny shirts. The one that caught my eye had a picture of Sesame Street characters on it - Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Ernie were playing with "boy toys" - guns and trucks (Bert was playing kitchen, but we already know how he is) - and Grover was coming towards them wearing a dress and heels and make-up with a thought bubble that said "I think I'm gay". The others had a collective thought bubble that said "At least he's finally out"
Symbolic? LOL