follow-up
where should I start? I don't wanna go on and on about it but let me just say that I'm fine. beyond fine even which surprises me a bit to be totally honest. I still feel a big fat nothing towards last week. it's hard to put into words. I know that telling somebody you're gay absolutely doesn't change anything in the long run (I speak for myself anyway) but I always thought that telling my parents would have this huge impact on me for selfish reasons. like I've been waiting for some kind of validation from their part all those years. and it's incredibly stupid come to think of it. why expect any of that? especially now when I've never been so comfortable in my own skin. yes I want them to support me and I know they do and accept me the way I am, but I don't need their permission. not at this point, I couldn't care less. I know what I want. I don't know if I'm being clear. what I'm trying to say is, no matter how ok they are or not with it, at the end of the day, it won't change or affect the way I wanna live my life or who I am. and i've realised that not feeling anything might just be the best thing. in a way it says I'm comfortable with who I am now. it's no big deal and I should be happy about that. and I am. but I can't help but think the whole thing was just too easy. for me anyway. my parents are still dealing with it.
mom, being her usual not-so-subtle self, kind of insinuated this week that things might have been different if her and my dad had been a little more outspoken and strict about some things in the house or more "present" when we were growing up. I chose to ignore that comment. her saying that confirmed she doesn't quite get the concept that I didn't get up one morning and decided to be a fag, believe me, if I had been in the position to choose anything, it would have been the other way around. but hey, that's my mom for you. then there's my dad. he's funny, either he's totally ok with it or he's acting up a storm. things are still the same between us, I see or feel no difference whatsoever when I'm around him so I'm thinking he's ok with it. I'm really glad.
and that's pretty much it for that. I know for a fact things will be good, I guess it's just a question of them getting used to the idea. until then...
mom, being her usual not-so-subtle self, kind of insinuated this week that things might have been different if her and my dad had been a little more outspoken and strict about some things in the house or more "present" when we were growing up. I chose to ignore that comment. her saying that confirmed she doesn't quite get the concept that I didn't get up one morning and decided to be a fag, believe me, if I had been in the position to choose anything, it would have been the other way around. but hey, that's my mom for you. then there's my dad. he's funny, either he's totally ok with it or he's acting up a storm. things are still the same between us, I see or feel no difference whatsoever when I'm around him so I'm thinking he's ok with it. I'm really glad.
and that's pretty much it for that. I know for a fact things will be good, I guess it's just a question of them getting used to the idea. until then...