Undefined Chapter 2
2: Fog
The fog that obscures our vision sometimes protects us as well. When that fog is gone, what will we see?
Iruka’s morning started with being summoned to see the Hokage. That couldn’t be a good thing, he figured, since she would have seen him later that day anyway, and he had a pretty busy day ahead of him as it was. It was a foggy, dreary morning, which didn’t help Iruka’s mood any as he made his way to the Hokage Tower. The guards at the office door let him in, and Tsunade waved him informally to a chair. Shizune was sitting at her desk, studying something a little too carefully, and it made Iruka a little suspicious.
“So, Iruka-kun… I hear that I’ve been overworking you,” Tsunade said, with a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin.
Iruka sat very straight in his chair. “Hokage-sama, I am your shinobi to command.”
Tsunade’s grin didn’t budge, and Iruka could swear he heard a giggle from Shizune. He wanted to glare at her, but instead he kept his eyes carefully trained on the Godaime Hokage. “So why was one of my other shinobi here complaining about it?” she asked.
“Because he’s an idiot,” Iruka said calmly.
Tsunade laughed, long and clear, and then her face settled into a serious expression. “Iruka, you should really have said something. You’re one of the most dependable people I have here, and I don’t want you working yourself into the grave. I’m going to work a bit with your schedule, partially because I don’t want you missing out on your teaching time, since I know you love it, and also because I want you to occasionally have some time off.”
Iruka scowled. “If he told you to give me time off because he’s hoping he can fill that time for me, I’m going to…”
“Iruka-kun, you really shouldn’t make threats in front of your Hokage,” Tsunade said, cutting him off. “It puts me in a bad position, because then if something does happen to the brat, I have to investigate you and all that, and then who is going to do all your work?” The smile on her young face was wry, and her eyes glowed with mischief.
Iruka smiled suddenly, encouraged by the happiness of his leader. At least she was having fun with his predicament, if nothing else. “I swear to you that I would never do any lasting harm to any loyal shinobi of Konoha,” he said with a seriousness that belied his expression.
Tsunade waved away Iruka’s seriousness, and said “Yes, yes, I know that. Just take today off, though, okay? Then we’ll work on your schedule tomorrow. I’ve already arranged for your classes, and all your other duties, to be taken care of.” She paused. “And don’t be too hard on Kakashi; he really can’t help his strangeness. He has good reason to be the person that he is, and he is more than he appears to be.”
Iruka didn’t argue with her, because she was the Hokage, and it wouldn’t do any good anyway. Instead, he smiled at her, and said, “I am being as kind to Kakashi as I know how to be, given the situation.”
Tsunade nodded, and dismissed him, and Iruka walked out of the Hokage Tower wondering what the heck he was going to do with his day off. Perhaps he should find Kakashi after all, if he wasn’t busy, because he had said he would be kind. Though, considering the circumstances, he wasn’t entirely sure whether staying away from the man or spending time with him would be more kind, considering he didn’t really return his feelings.
His feet led him to the Memorial, because he was thinking about the fact that the people he would have liked to ask for advice were all dead already, and going there made the decision for him, because Kakashi was there. He stood with his head lowered, his whole body turned toward the Stone. “Were you looking for me?” he asked, without turning.
“No,” said Iruka honestly. “I was looking for a guidance I don’t have anymore.”
Kakashi nodded, still without looking at Iruka. “I’ll leave you alone then,” he said, turning away.
Iruka reached out and grabbed Kakashi’s arm as he went by. He found himself flying through the air, as Kakashi instinctively tossed him off, but Iruka had been expecting it and landed lightly on his feet. “I have the day off, as I’m sure you know, so if you’re free we could do something,” he said calmly, as if he hadn’t just flown through the air.
Kakashi finally looked at Iruka then, surprised by his calm reaction to Kakashi’s instinctual defensive maneuver. His single visible eye coolly examined Iruka’s face, as if looking for some kind of trick. “You know I’d love to spend time with you,” he said evenly. “Are you sure it’s what you want?”
Iruka didn’t know what to say to that, because it sounded like Kakashi was asking something more than what the words implied. “I’m not sure, but I’m asking you anyway,” he replied honestly.
Kakashi nodded, and the two walked away from the Stone and back through town “So, Iruka-sensei, what do you want to do with your day off?” Kakashi asked finally, realizing they were just kind of wandering the streets, and it wasn’t really nice enough out to make that fun.
Not spend it with you, thought Iruka, and he really hoped Kakashi couldn’t read that thought on his face. But he was Iruka, and he was the master of smiling when there was nothing to smile about. “I honestly don’t know. Pretty much all I do is work, especially since Naruto left,” he said. “Maybe we could go see a movie? It’s too early in the day for movies though.”
“You really don’t get out much, do you?” said Kakashi, rolling his eye. “Tell you what, just let me take care of everything today, okay?”
Iruka nodded, rubbing a hand across the bridge of his nose nervously. “Sure, you decide.”
As soon as that was decided, Iruka caught sight of the awkward, strange Kakashi from yesterday. Kakashi stood there for a moment as if trying to make up his mind about something, and then grabbed Iruka’s arm and practically pulled him after him. Iruka wasn’t quite comfortable with it, but letting it go was easier than dealing with the freak-out and apology he guessed would come if he said something.
Kakashi took Iruka to his apartment, because Iruka had mentioned watching movies, and Kakashi had movies there. Iruka hovered a little after coming in the door and taking off his shoes, as if not quite comfortable being in Kakashi’s home.
“Come on, it’s okay. I just thought we’d watch a movie from my collection. Not Icha Icha, I promise!” said Kakashi encouragingly. He had pulled down his mask as soon as he stepped through the door, and the smile had gave Iruka was heartbreakingly hopeful. Iruka followed the other man down the hall to a surprisingly comfortable looking living room. He’d almost expected the other man to either have a spotless, completely personality-free dwelling, or a mess, and this place was neither.
Kakashi gestured, and Iruka went over to the multimedia rack on the wall to pick out something to watch. He finally threw up his hands and turned to face the silver-haired ninja who had been sort of lurking behind him. “Just pick something for us, I don’t even know what I’d like,” he said. Feeling a little silly for not even being able to pick out a movie, he stalked over and flopped on Kakashi’s couch.
Kakashi smiled again, and reached out to pick out a movie almost at random it seemed. He put it in the player, started it, and went to sit by Iruka. He sat too close the first time, his leg touching the other man’s, and saw Iruka’s eyes widen a bit. “Sorry,” he muttered, blushing, and scooted over a bit so that he wasn’t crowding his guest.
Iruka said nothing, and simply sat staring at the TV screen. If someone had asked him later what the movie was about, he wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to tell them. It seemed like something that would have been interesting to him normally, sort of talky and dramatic, but he couldn’t seem to focus on it. Because he was in Kakashi’s house, and Kakashi was acting like a little kid with a crush, and it wasn’t right. Nothing about it was right, he decided, because Sharingan Kakashi wasn’t the type of man who suddenly developed crushes on schoolteachers, and Iruka wasn’t the kind of man that dated insane Jounin who were likely to get themselves killed any day now. Iruka’s last date had been with his fellow teacher Mira actually, though they hadn’t quite hit it off as well as he’d expected.
Every time Iruka looked over at Kakashi, the other man’s dark eye was trained on him, not the movie they were supposedly watching. It was sort of unnerving, Kakashi watching Iruka pretend to watch the movie when really all Iruka could do was think about how weird the situation was. He should say something, should let the poor man down easily and walk way from this whole mess. But he couldn’t, because the way Kakashi looked at him just made it impossible. Iruka knew, logically, that the longer he drew this out, the more he would be hurting Kakashi in the end, but for now his mere presence seemed to be enough to make the Jounin happy. So he sat there through the movie, and he let Kakashi make him a rather delicious lunch, which he ate while making small talk.
After lunch had been cleared away, Iruka thought perhaps he’d go. After all, he’d said he’d spend some time with Kakashi, but that didn’t mean that he had to spent the entire day with him, did it? Before he could escape, however, Kakashi was leading him back to the living room, and he was sitting on the couch next to Kakashi, not sure what to expect next.
“It’s still so foggy out, we couldn’t really do anything fun outside,” Kakashi said sadly, pouting a little. “I wish we could have had a picnic, but it’s just not nice enough. I don’t have a lot to do here, I guess, but… I have shogi!” he said suddenly, jumping up from his seat excitedly. Then he paused, and turned to Iruka. “Do you like shogi?”
Iruka smiled at him brilliantly, because actually he did quite enjoy shogi. “Yes, let’s play.”
Kakashi smiled in return, and starting setting up the game while Iruka waited patiently. Playing shougi with Kakashi probably would be quite a challenge, he figured, given the man’s intelligence. Hopefully he’d be interested enough in the game that he would actually stop looking at Iruka so pathetically, too.
It didn’t work. Kakashi was an impressive opponent, but he barely glanced at the board, and sitting across from him like this make it so Iruka could see that he was constantly staring. Finally, Iruka sighed and said, “Kakashi, could you please not look at me like that?”
Kakashi reached up and scratched the back of his head, and then looked down, frowning. “How?”
“What do you mean how? You’re staring at me!” replied Iruka crossly.
“No,” said Kakashi, which infuriated Iruka. He must have noticed, because he quickly amended that. “No, I wasn’t asking how I was looking at you, I was asking how I’m supposed to stop.”
Iruka froze. Surely the man’s obsession with him wasn’t that strong. It was a rather childish crush, or had seemed to be. Finally, he said, “You don’t just stare at people like that, Kakashi. This isn’t the battlefield, you aren’t supposed to be trying to intimidate me. You’ve been looking at me all evening.” Then he had a thought. “Hold still, and don’t kill me, okay?
Kakashi nodded, but tensed. Iruka stood and walked around the table with the shogi set, then reached out a hand to Kakashi, who took it and let Iruka pull him to his feet. Still holding onto Kakashi’s right hand, he reached out with his left hand and grabbed Kakashi’s hitae-ate, pulling it off. Kakashi closed his eye instinctively, and Iruka just stood there for a moment, looking contemplatively at the scar over his eye. Finally, he said, “Open your eye, Kakashi. Really look at me, with both eyes, for just a moment. Then you’re going to put your headband back on and stop staring at me, okay?”
Kakashi didn’t say anything, but he clung to Iruka’s hand as if it were a lifeline, and his eyes locked on Iruka’s face. After what felt like an eternity to Iruka, the other pale hand reached out to take the hitae-ate from him, and the one in his was pulled free reluctantly to secure the headband back over Kakashi’s Sharingan eye. “Thank you,” said Kakashi, softly. “You were right, that helps.” Then he sat back down, and faced the shogi board. “It’s your turn, Iruka-sensei.”
Next Chapter
The fog that obscures our vision sometimes protects us as well. When that fog is gone, what will we see?
Iruka’s morning started with being summoned to see the Hokage. That couldn’t be a good thing, he figured, since she would have seen him later that day anyway, and he had a pretty busy day ahead of him as it was. It was a foggy, dreary morning, which didn’t help Iruka’s mood any as he made his way to the Hokage Tower. The guards at the office door let him in, and Tsunade waved him informally to a chair. Shizune was sitting at her desk, studying something a little too carefully, and it made Iruka a little suspicious.
“So, Iruka-kun… I hear that I’ve been overworking you,” Tsunade said, with a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin.
Iruka sat very straight in his chair. “Hokage-sama, I am your shinobi to command.”
Tsunade’s grin didn’t budge, and Iruka could swear he heard a giggle from Shizune. He wanted to glare at her, but instead he kept his eyes carefully trained on the Godaime Hokage. “So why was one of my other shinobi here complaining about it?” she asked.
“Because he’s an idiot,” Iruka said calmly.
Tsunade laughed, long and clear, and then her face settled into a serious expression. “Iruka, you should really have said something. You’re one of the most dependable people I have here, and I don’t want you working yourself into the grave. I’m going to work a bit with your schedule, partially because I don’t want you missing out on your teaching time, since I know you love it, and also because I want you to occasionally have some time off.”
Iruka scowled. “If he told you to give me time off because he’s hoping he can fill that time for me, I’m going to…”
“Iruka-kun, you really shouldn’t make threats in front of your Hokage,” Tsunade said, cutting him off. “It puts me in a bad position, because then if something does happen to the brat, I have to investigate you and all that, and then who is going to do all your work?” The smile on her young face was wry, and her eyes glowed with mischief.
Iruka smiled suddenly, encouraged by the happiness of his leader. At least she was having fun with his predicament, if nothing else. “I swear to you that I would never do any lasting harm to any loyal shinobi of Konoha,” he said with a seriousness that belied his expression.
Tsunade waved away Iruka’s seriousness, and said “Yes, yes, I know that. Just take today off, though, okay? Then we’ll work on your schedule tomorrow. I’ve already arranged for your classes, and all your other duties, to be taken care of.” She paused. “And don’t be too hard on Kakashi; he really can’t help his strangeness. He has good reason to be the person that he is, and he is more than he appears to be.”
Iruka didn’t argue with her, because she was the Hokage, and it wouldn’t do any good anyway. Instead, he smiled at her, and said, “I am being as kind to Kakashi as I know how to be, given the situation.”
Tsunade nodded, and dismissed him, and Iruka walked out of the Hokage Tower wondering what the heck he was going to do with his day off. Perhaps he should find Kakashi after all, if he wasn’t busy, because he had said he would be kind. Though, considering the circumstances, he wasn’t entirely sure whether staying away from the man or spending time with him would be more kind, considering he didn’t really return his feelings.
His feet led him to the Memorial, because he was thinking about the fact that the people he would have liked to ask for advice were all dead already, and going there made the decision for him, because Kakashi was there. He stood with his head lowered, his whole body turned toward the Stone. “Were you looking for me?” he asked, without turning.
“No,” said Iruka honestly. “I was looking for a guidance I don’t have anymore.”
Kakashi nodded, still without looking at Iruka. “I’ll leave you alone then,” he said, turning away.
Iruka reached out and grabbed Kakashi’s arm as he went by. He found himself flying through the air, as Kakashi instinctively tossed him off, but Iruka had been expecting it and landed lightly on his feet. “I have the day off, as I’m sure you know, so if you’re free we could do something,” he said calmly, as if he hadn’t just flown through the air.
Kakashi finally looked at Iruka then, surprised by his calm reaction to Kakashi’s instinctual defensive maneuver. His single visible eye coolly examined Iruka’s face, as if looking for some kind of trick. “You know I’d love to spend time with you,” he said evenly. “Are you sure it’s what you want?”
Iruka didn’t know what to say to that, because it sounded like Kakashi was asking something more than what the words implied. “I’m not sure, but I’m asking you anyway,” he replied honestly.
Kakashi nodded, and the two walked away from the Stone and back through town “So, Iruka-sensei, what do you want to do with your day off?” Kakashi asked finally, realizing they were just kind of wandering the streets, and it wasn’t really nice enough out to make that fun.
Not spend it with you, thought Iruka, and he really hoped Kakashi couldn’t read that thought on his face. But he was Iruka, and he was the master of smiling when there was nothing to smile about. “I honestly don’t know. Pretty much all I do is work, especially since Naruto left,” he said. “Maybe we could go see a movie? It’s too early in the day for movies though.”
“You really don’t get out much, do you?” said Kakashi, rolling his eye. “Tell you what, just let me take care of everything today, okay?”
Iruka nodded, rubbing a hand across the bridge of his nose nervously. “Sure, you decide.”
As soon as that was decided, Iruka caught sight of the awkward, strange Kakashi from yesterday. Kakashi stood there for a moment as if trying to make up his mind about something, and then grabbed Iruka’s arm and practically pulled him after him. Iruka wasn’t quite comfortable with it, but letting it go was easier than dealing with the freak-out and apology he guessed would come if he said something.
Kakashi took Iruka to his apartment, because Iruka had mentioned watching movies, and Kakashi had movies there. Iruka hovered a little after coming in the door and taking off his shoes, as if not quite comfortable being in Kakashi’s home.
“Come on, it’s okay. I just thought we’d watch a movie from my collection. Not Icha Icha, I promise!” said Kakashi encouragingly. He had pulled down his mask as soon as he stepped through the door, and the smile had gave Iruka was heartbreakingly hopeful. Iruka followed the other man down the hall to a surprisingly comfortable looking living room. He’d almost expected the other man to either have a spotless, completely personality-free dwelling, or a mess, and this place was neither.
Kakashi gestured, and Iruka went over to the multimedia rack on the wall to pick out something to watch. He finally threw up his hands and turned to face the silver-haired ninja who had been sort of lurking behind him. “Just pick something for us, I don’t even know what I’d like,” he said. Feeling a little silly for not even being able to pick out a movie, he stalked over and flopped on Kakashi’s couch.
Kakashi smiled again, and reached out to pick out a movie almost at random it seemed. He put it in the player, started it, and went to sit by Iruka. He sat too close the first time, his leg touching the other man’s, and saw Iruka’s eyes widen a bit. “Sorry,” he muttered, blushing, and scooted over a bit so that he wasn’t crowding his guest.
Iruka said nothing, and simply sat staring at the TV screen. If someone had asked him later what the movie was about, he wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to tell them. It seemed like something that would have been interesting to him normally, sort of talky and dramatic, but he couldn’t seem to focus on it. Because he was in Kakashi’s house, and Kakashi was acting like a little kid with a crush, and it wasn’t right. Nothing about it was right, he decided, because Sharingan Kakashi wasn’t the type of man who suddenly developed crushes on schoolteachers, and Iruka wasn’t the kind of man that dated insane Jounin who were likely to get themselves killed any day now. Iruka’s last date had been with his fellow teacher Mira actually, though they hadn’t quite hit it off as well as he’d expected.
Every time Iruka looked over at Kakashi, the other man’s dark eye was trained on him, not the movie they were supposedly watching. It was sort of unnerving, Kakashi watching Iruka pretend to watch the movie when really all Iruka could do was think about how weird the situation was. He should say something, should let the poor man down easily and walk way from this whole mess. But he couldn’t, because the way Kakashi looked at him just made it impossible. Iruka knew, logically, that the longer he drew this out, the more he would be hurting Kakashi in the end, but for now his mere presence seemed to be enough to make the Jounin happy. So he sat there through the movie, and he let Kakashi make him a rather delicious lunch, which he ate while making small talk.
After lunch had been cleared away, Iruka thought perhaps he’d go. After all, he’d said he’d spend some time with Kakashi, but that didn’t mean that he had to spent the entire day with him, did it? Before he could escape, however, Kakashi was leading him back to the living room, and he was sitting on the couch next to Kakashi, not sure what to expect next.
“It’s still so foggy out, we couldn’t really do anything fun outside,” Kakashi said sadly, pouting a little. “I wish we could have had a picnic, but it’s just not nice enough. I don’t have a lot to do here, I guess, but… I have shogi!” he said suddenly, jumping up from his seat excitedly. Then he paused, and turned to Iruka. “Do you like shogi?”
Iruka smiled at him brilliantly, because actually he did quite enjoy shogi. “Yes, let’s play.”
Kakashi smiled in return, and starting setting up the game while Iruka waited patiently. Playing shougi with Kakashi probably would be quite a challenge, he figured, given the man’s intelligence. Hopefully he’d be interested enough in the game that he would actually stop looking at Iruka so pathetically, too.
It didn’t work. Kakashi was an impressive opponent, but he barely glanced at the board, and sitting across from him like this make it so Iruka could see that he was constantly staring. Finally, Iruka sighed and said, “Kakashi, could you please not look at me like that?”
Kakashi reached up and scratched the back of his head, and then looked down, frowning. “How?”
“What do you mean how? You’re staring at me!” replied Iruka crossly.
“No,” said Kakashi, which infuriated Iruka. He must have noticed, because he quickly amended that. “No, I wasn’t asking how I was looking at you, I was asking how I’m supposed to stop.”
Iruka froze. Surely the man’s obsession with him wasn’t that strong. It was a rather childish crush, or had seemed to be. Finally, he said, “You don’t just stare at people like that, Kakashi. This isn’t the battlefield, you aren’t supposed to be trying to intimidate me. You’ve been looking at me all evening.” Then he had a thought. “Hold still, and don’t kill me, okay?
Kakashi nodded, but tensed. Iruka stood and walked around the table with the shogi set, then reached out a hand to Kakashi, who took it and let Iruka pull him to his feet. Still holding onto Kakashi’s right hand, he reached out with his left hand and grabbed Kakashi’s hitae-ate, pulling it off. Kakashi closed his eye instinctively, and Iruka just stood there for a moment, looking contemplatively at the scar over his eye. Finally, he said, “Open your eye, Kakashi. Really look at me, with both eyes, for just a moment. Then you’re going to put your headband back on and stop staring at me, okay?”
Kakashi didn’t say anything, but he clung to Iruka’s hand as if it were a lifeline, and his eyes locked on Iruka’s face. After what felt like an eternity to Iruka, the other pale hand reached out to take the hitae-ate from him, and the one in his was pulled free reluctantly to secure the headband back over Kakashi’s Sharingan eye. “Thank you,” said Kakashi, softly. “You were right, that helps.” Then he sat back down, and faced the shogi board. “It’s your turn, Iruka-sensei.”
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