(no subject)
She left me because she said she went into another relationship too soon.
That she couldn't love me as much as she knew I loved her.
That she wasn't ready to love, that she needs to be alone and figure out what she wants.
That she can't see me as someone to love.
She told me all this the morning after I spent the night at her house. Where we watched movies, cuddled, and had sex like nothing was wrong. Where she kissed me goodbye and told me she loved me before I went to work.
So high so quickly, and so low just as fast.
I don't know how to feel.
I tried to slash my wrists on a whim, a sudden surge of despair.
But my knife was too dull, and I didn't have the courage to saw at myself until it worked.
This feels as painful as 2010.
That she couldn't love me as much as she knew I loved her.
That she wasn't ready to love, that she needs to be alone and figure out what she wants.
That she can't see me as someone to love.
She told me all this the morning after I spent the night at her house. Where we watched movies, cuddled, and had sex like nothing was wrong. Where she kissed me goodbye and told me she loved me before I went to work.
So high so quickly, and so low just as fast.
I don't know how to feel.
I tried to slash my wrists on a whim, a sudden surge of despair.
But my knife was too dull, and I didn't have the courage to saw at myself until it worked.
This feels as painful as 2010.