All grown up
My baby is 18 today..23rd September..I feel all lost..18years ago I was laid in the hospital after a slight show..baby wasnt due for another 14 weeks, at around 6pm everything went haywire, resulting in her birth about 35 minutes later, they rushed her away, took her to another hospital, and I felt railroaded..the next four weeks were horrendous, she died once, kept having setbacks, off the ventilator, back on the ventilator..me..I went crazy for a short while, was certain the docs and nurses were trying to kill her, wouldnt speak to anyone..it does that to you when they say ..no food..and you look at this little scrap of humanity, who to be honest resembled a little old lady..and you think..but she only weighs the same as a bag of sugar, you have to feed her, she'l die otherwise, you take her in your hand, her head at your finger tips and her bum at the base of your palm..and you know you have never felt love like it at any other time in your life..she's your's ..and you will do whatever it takes to make her strong..i sat and hand drip fed her , every hour on the hour, quick cups of coffee in between, very little sleep...after 4 weeks they transfered her back to our local hospital, then came a further five weeks of feeding, cuddling and loving, till they said, she can go home..if she weights 4 and a half pound by monday, you move in to the hospital, leaving her brother in the care of his grandparents, cos you have to feed her every meal, the nurses havnt the time to sit with a baby, coaxing a few more mils of milk into her, every mil pushing up her weight..you have to do it yourself, then finaly comes the day when they say..ok..she can go home..4 weeks before she should have been born..and the nurses look at you and say..will you manage, she's very small...they are so wrong..compared to the tiny 2lb 2oz scrap that she was , she's huge.....and now, here we are..it feels like yesturday, 18years have passed in a flash ..and my baby is all grown up..she's a woman now so they say, ready to face life, knows what she wants ...me...i'm just lost