(no subject)
Title: Focus
Fandom: The Sentinel
Characters/Pairing: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Prompt: #19 Writer's Choice: Crusade
Rating: PG
Notes: Set post series
Summary: Jim finds himself without a focus with his guide away
It had been two weeks since Sandburg had left for the Academy. The first couple of days went fine, Jim easily getting through his shifts without having Blair by his side. For two days he actually thought it was going to work out.
Then the third day came.
Walking out the front door something caught Jim's attention and that was all it took. From one step to the next he zoned out and when his foot hit the wood, his leg buckled. Tumbling head over heels down the steps, he was still staring at nothing anyone could see when a jogger happened upon him and called for help.
Three days later Jim was sitting in the guest waiting room, anxiously tapping his fingers on the table. One week. Less than one week if they were being honest about it. Less than one week since Jim had last seen Blair and already he was falling apart. He heard a sound, something so utterly familiar, and Jim's head snapped up. Blair's heartbeat, the way he breathed. All of it was utterly familiar to Jim, as much a part of him as his own blood. Raising his head was all it took. Framed by the glass window were blue eyes that he dreamt about.
Such exquisite blue. They weren't sea blue, weren't sky blue. They were a color that was beyond gemstones known to man and any sky from dawn until dusk. Jim couldn't see anything but Blair's eyes, that shimmering shade that he'd ignored the first time he'd met. He couldn't remember when he had first noticed them and yet now, there in the academy guest room, he couldn't see anything but those brilliant blue eyes.
"Jim!"
It took a long moment but at length Jim came back to reality, realizing that once more he'd zoned out.
"Chief. Hey." He grinned, looking nearly sheepish. "I... Look at you." He grinned wider when Blair ran his hand over his shorn curls, chuckling softly. "It's a good look for you,' he murmured. "Makes your eyes more blue."
"Makes me look old and short,' he countered, dropping down into the chair across from Jim. "What happened,' he asked, nodding at the bruise on his partner's cheek.
"I... I zoned out coming down the stairs." Rubbing it lightly, Jim winced. "How much longer you got in here?"
"Six weeks. Just a bit over. Do you need me to withdraw?" Just like that. No questions asked, no recriminations. He'd walk away from the academy because first and foremost he was Jim's guide and shaman. The suddenness of the offer made Jim blink.
"No! Nono. Nothing like that. Just... I need to come by here a couple times a week. Or... or something that means I don't get distracted and go tumbling down the stairs. I don't know. Maybe..." Maybe he had no idea how they could handle this without him ending up in traction before Blair finished and was made a detective.
"There has to be a way for it to work beyond the physical,' Blair said, once more without hesitation. Jim needed it fixed and Blair was willing to try. "We've proven there's a connection,' he continued in a low voice in an attempt not to be overheard. "You brought me back from the dead and we know there's something there. Maybe we could make it work through meditation. We've never tried to intentionally draw on that connection we share."
"And you think that's possible? You think that could be enough to control the zoning out through... through that zen meditation you do?" He wasn't laughing but the disbelief was evident.
"It's not the same thing,' Blair said, his voice sharp. Ducking down, he leaned across the table to whisper to Jim. "What I'm thinking of is more of a guided meditation. Something that we could work on and control. It would give your mind a focal point and allow you to focus on the greater picture rather than focusing in on a single thing. If..." He looked around before speaking once more, being careful that no one was listening. "If we can find that connection that we had when I was d... when you found me in the water, then you can use that connection whenever you need it. Whether I'm here or at your side on a case."
Jim was silent, taking it in. He stared at Blair, considering the possibilities. They hadn't explored that moment, neither willing to talk about it too much. No, that wasn't true. Jim wasn't willing to talk about it and whenever Blair brought it up he was quick to change the subject. He wasn't willing to remember Blair lying there, dead, Simon trying to pull him away while telling Jim it was too late. He didn't want to think about any of that. Not then. Not now.
"How would it work?"
"We would have to work on two things. One would be a guided meditation to try and bring ourselves closer to that point in the astral jungle where we came together when you saved my life. That would be the hardest part. It would require a lot of work on both of our parts. I could record a meditation and then we could find a time when we could both focus on it and keep notes. It'll be easier once I'm out of here and we have time together, alone, without worrying who overhears." Blair grinned suddenly, ducking his head. "And doing other than what we usually did in those moments."
Jim coughed, clearing his throat. "Right, other than that,' he muttered, giving Blair a stern look. All he received in return was an innocent smile. "So what can we do for the time being? That's going to take a while, isn't it?"
Blair nodded. "It's about mental and spiritual training. Until then we need to find you a focus that allows you to expand your thoughts rather than allowing them to narrow to a single pinpoint that allows you to, well, fall down the stairs."
Nodding, Jim thought about that. It made sense in theory. Made damn good sense. Of course Blair was making sense. It was Blair, after all. Staring at his guide, Jim took in the way his sweats fit, how the navy blue set off his eyes. The way the short cropped curls lay against his forehead, soft and feathery where they lay on tanned skin. He remembered the way those curls felt against his fingers, the soft sigh Blair would make when he gave them a tug. Those days were gone for a while, but the new short cut did so many nice things. It bared the nape of Blair's neck and made his cheekbones seem razor sharp.
Then there was his eyes. So blue. Brilliant, drowning deep eyes. Perfection in twin pinpoints of...
"JIM!"
He jerked, tumbling over backwards and landing on his back. Blair scrambled around the table, staring down at Jim. "We might want to figure out that focus today. Unless you're willing to go home and not leave the loft.
Fandom: The Sentinel
Characters/Pairing: Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
Prompt: #19 Writer's Choice: Crusade
Rating: PG
Notes: Set post series
Summary: Jim finds himself without a focus with his guide away
It had been two weeks since Sandburg had left for the Academy. The first couple of days went fine, Jim easily getting through his shifts without having Blair by his side. For two days he actually thought it was going to work out.
Then the third day came.
Walking out the front door something caught Jim's attention and that was all it took. From one step to the next he zoned out and when his foot hit the wood, his leg buckled. Tumbling head over heels down the steps, he was still staring at nothing anyone could see when a jogger happened upon him and called for help.
Three days later Jim was sitting in the guest waiting room, anxiously tapping his fingers on the table. One week. Less than one week if they were being honest about it. Less than one week since Jim had last seen Blair and already he was falling apart. He heard a sound, something so utterly familiar, and Jim's head snapped up. Blair's heartbeat, the way he breathed. All of it was utterly familiar to Jim, as much a part of him as his own blood. Raising his head was all it took. Framed by the glass window were blue eyes that he dreamt about.
Such exquisite blue. They weren't sea blue, weren't sky blue. They were a color that was beyond gemstones known to man and any sky from dawn until dusk. Jim couldn't see anything but Blair's eyes, that shimmering shade that he'd ignored the first time he'd met. He couldn't remember when he had first noticed them and yet now, there in the academy guest room, he couldn't see anything but those brilliant blue eyes.
"Jim!"
It took a long moment but at length Jim came back to reality, realizing that once more he'd zoned out.
"Chief. Hey." He grinned, looking nearly sheepish. "I... Look at you." He grinned wider when Blair ran his hand over his shorn curls, chuckling softly. "It's a good look for you,' he murmured. "Makes your eyes more blue."
"Makes me look old and short,' he countered, dropping down into the chair across from Jim. "What happened,' he asked, nodding at the bruise on his partner's cheek.
"I... I zoned out coming down the stairs." Rubbing it lightly, Jim winced. "How much longer you got in here?"
"Six weeks. Just a bit over. Do you need me to withdraw?" Just like that. No questions asked, no recriminations. He'd walk away from the academy because first and foremost he was Jim's guide and shaman. The suddenness of the offer made Jim blink.
"No! Nono. Nothing like that. Just... I need to come by here a couple times a week. Or... or something that means I don't get distracted and go tumbling down the stairs. I don't know. Maybe..." Maybe he had no idea how they could handle this without him ending up in traction before Blair finished and was made a detective.
"There has to be a way for it to work beyond the physical,' Blair said, once more without hesitation. Jim needed it fixed and Blair was willing to try. "We've proven there's a connection,' he continued in a low voice in an attempt not to be overheard. "You brought me back from the dead and we know there's something there. Maybe we could make it work through meditation. We've never tried to intentionally draw on that connection we share."
"And you think that's possible? You think that could be enough to control the zoning out through... through that zen meditation you do?" He wasn't laughing but the disbelief was evident.
"It's not the same thing,' Blair said, his voice sharp. Ducking down, he leaned across the table to whisper to Jim. "What I'm thinking of is more of a guided meditation. Something that we could work on and control. It would give your mind a focal point and allow you to focus on the greater picture rather than focusing in on a single thing. If..." He looked around before speaking once more, being careful that no one was listening. "If we can find that connection that we had when I was d... when you found me in the water, then you can use that connection whenever you need it. Whether I'm here or at your side on a case."
Jim was silent, taking it in. He stared at Blair, considering the possibilities. They hadn't explored that moment, neither willing to talk about it too much. No, that wasn't true. Jim wasn't willing to talk about it and whenever Blair brought it up he was quick to change the subject. He wasn't willing to remember Blair lying there, dead, Simon trying to pull him away while telling Jim it was too late. He didn't want to think about any of that. Not then. Not now.
"How would it work?"
"We would have to work on two things. One would be a guided meditation to try and bring ourselves closer to that point in the astral jungle where we came together when you saved my life. That would be the hardest part. It would require a lot of work on both of our parts. I could record a meditation and then we could find a time when we could both focus on it and keep notes. It'll be easier once I'm out of here and we have time together, alone, without worrying who overhears." Blair grinned suddenly, ducking his head. "And doing other than what we usually did in those moments."
Jim coughed, clearing his throat. "Right, other than that,' he muttered, giving Blair a stern look. All he received in return was an innocent smile. "So what can we do for the time being? That's going to take a while, isn't it?"
Blair nodded. "It's about mental and spiritual training. Until then we need to find you a focus that allows you to expand your thoughts rather than allowing them to narrow to a single pinpoint that allows you to, well, fall down the stairs."
Nodding, Jim thought about that. It made sense in theory. Made damn good sense. Of course Blair was making sense. It was Blair, after all. Staring at his guide, Jim took in the way his sweats fit, how the navy blue set off his eyes. The way the short cropped curls lay against his forehead, soft and feathery where they lay on tanned skin. He remembered the way those curls felt against his fingers, the soft sigh Blair would make when he gave them a tug. Those days were gone for a while, but the new short cut did so many nice things. It bared the nape of Blair's neck and made his cheekbones seem razor sharp.
Then there was his eyes. So blue. Brilliant, drowning deep eyes. Perfection in twin pinpoints of...
"JIM!"
He jerked, tumbling over backwards and landing on his back. Blair scrambled around the table, staring down at Jim. "We might want to figure out that focus today. Unless you're willing to go home and not leave the loft.