(no subject)
I am not doing very well. Not exactly sure how to react to it, or with it, or how to deal with it. It's as if each day is a bigger strain on my emotions than the previous. I'm not sure how I will make it, I mean obviously I will make it, but who knows maybe not. Maybe not.... not if I have a real honest to G-d breakdown. I think that's where I'm going... and I can't even talk about it. Well I can talk about what may happen, but I can't talk about what I'm actually feeling. I can't even verbalize it to myself, let alone anyone else, even if I want to. I just can't even speak the words I am feeling, and that's difficult, because I feel that if I do, I really will just lose it, lose any sense of composure I might have left. So how does one deal with such emotions? There is nothing anyone can say, or do, nothing can change what's going on with me, at least I don't think so. It's hard. It's so hard... and it doesn't get easier with time.