No one can ever complete this circle again
So yesterday Pres and I had "the talk". Whilst on the way back after sending Marcus, he told me he didn't want me feeling like I had to replace Zak. We were on the earlier topic on how I was still affected by Nicstill being angry w me (from Attica night. Funny how it used to be Zak at Butter) and how I felt like he was trying to be Zak, for me, for us, for everyone. Truth is, the circle was broken and it'll never be complete or whole again. But we appreciate one another for being who they are. Like I'll never get to the level they got, because its just a bro thing. And some part of me finally accepted that. There's still guilt lingering from having robbed him of his closest bro, but the talk last night liberated many of those thoughts. Gotta have that soon w Nic too. And last night's dream was unreal. I dreamt I lost everyone dear to me. Sigh, I'm getting really tired. Of everything at home as well. Things haven't been going too good and tempers run high on a daily basis now. And I miss the boy. Feels like a big part of my life's been out on hold, mainly the me part. As dramatic / cliche and stupid as it sounds, I truly understand what is means when people said I just want to book a ticket to anywhere and gtfoutta here.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.