Oh, HRC.
I don't have time to fact check this, but apparently, HRC asked trans*folk at the rally for marriage equality to take down their flags, because marriage equality isn't a trans issueBecause, you know, no trans people are gay, and no trans people are in love with people of the same gender designation as themselves, and it wouldn't be very, very handy
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I fully support you in your transition and strongly believe that we all have the right to self-determination. When it comes to the fight for equal rights, in my reality, that is an L and a G matter. I don't like sharing the tent.
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I know we've been around this particular fence post before, you and I. But this post upsets me, and I want to be clear as to why.
First, it upsets me that you would take a sentence of mine out of context and try to use it to prove that I am unaware of my own privilege. This is especially upsetting as that sentence occurred in the middle of a highly friends-locked post, in the middle of a personal emotional break-down. Obviously, I know that legal marriage is much more than just a piece of paper. In part, I know this in part because I had heterosexual privilege for a while -- and it took me a year and a half to disentangle myself legally from my ex, and the job still is not complete, three years later. I won't go over again what I did mean by that sentence, because that was highly filtered and this is not, but if you need me to elaborate, go ahead and ask in private -- this, however, is a wild misrepresentation of what I was trying to say there.
Second, let me be clear that I am all for groups being very specific about who they will and will not fight for. No one group can do it all, nor should try. I support the Lesbian Health Initiative, I support Trans Justice Funding Project, etc. My problem with the HRC is not that they only support lesbian and gay rights. It's that they stump up a lot of funds and members claiming to support LGBT folks, and then at key moments, betray the B and/or the T, and even solidly LG people who are too gender variant and/or of the wrong race/income level/etc. to make good main-stream poster children. I understand the strategy of a marketing campaign that says "gay and lesbian folks are just like you, middle class white straight people, except for the straight part! See? Nothing to be afraid of here!" -- I understand it on a strategic level. However, the real-world effects are to further marginalize those who are not just like middle class white straight people except for the straight part, and to disenfranchise us even from groups claiming to be fighting for our rights. I know a lot of trans people who donate to the HRC, and most of my trans friends changed their facebook icon to the HRC red equality sign this past week - and yet, while our money and support is welcome, our visibility is not.
So, fine, have gay and lesbian specific groups -- that's awesome. But don't solicit funds and support from B and T folks under the guise of also fighting for THEIR rights. Be clear that you're an LG-specific group, and solicit funds and support from B and T folks as allies -- many of them are.
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Marriage equality is very much a trans issue. I know it looks like I just swapped my gender and now I can get legally married to my best beloved in the state of Georgia, yay! This is far from the truth. I won't go into the complexities of legal gender change here, and all that I have had to do to come this far. I will, however, say that I am not at all certain that I can legally get married in the state of Georgia. My license and passport say "M". My birth certificate says "F", and I am, as far as I can tell, still "F" with the federal government, despite what my passport says. There have been many court cases where transfolks are deemed to not be legally married for a variety of reasons, and some states pushing measures to say that transfolks can't get married at all because their gender is indeterminate. A fellow was just this week denied a *divorce* from his wife, because the judge suspected the marriage of not being legally recognized by that state in the first place, due to the fellow being trans. I have friends who are trying to get married or who want to get married -- transguys in love with cis-gendered women -- but know they can't even try, because they haven't been able to change their gender marker.
Trans folks are routinely denied medical care (both trans-specific care, and care in general), have trouble getting jobs, don't have health insurance, and if they do have health insurance, the insurance doesn't cover trans-specific health care. In the state of Georgia, in order to have your gender marker changed, you have to undergo genital surgery, to "prove" you're really the gender you say you are. Thus, if you're a trans-guy who wants to be married to a woman in the state of Georgia, you have to have genital surgery first. If you don't want to have the surgery, you can't marry your girlfriend. If you want to but your health insurance doesn't cover it, and/or you don't have the health insurance, you have to pay for it yourself -- which is hard if you don't have a job, or are underemployed, isn't it? Marriage equality would make it possible for a person to marry the person they love, regardless of what operations or legal procedures they've had.
And of course, folks who got legally married before they transition -- and want to stay married after transition, face all sorts of legal oddities. Transgender lesbian couples? Transgender gay couples? Nope, can't get married. Probably. Well. Depends on the documents and surgeries and even then, it's a very possible "no."
A law that specifies that marriage must be between a man and a woman causes all sorts of complexities for -- or simply denies marriage to -- a person whose gender is complex, has changed, is in the process of change, etc. Marriage equality is very much a trans issue.
You feel as though you are denied privilege that other people get. That's true, and that's sad, and it makes me angry on a routine basis. But playing oppression olympics does not get us anywhere. Just because other people have privilege that you have not had the opportunity to have does not mean they don't have real issues, does not mean their issues aren't worth fighting for. There are ways in which I am discriminated against routinely, which you are not. Should you be discriminated against in these same ways, I would be mad as hell, even though you don't have to put up with them as frequently as I do. It would still be wrong.
If you, personally, don't want to fight for marriage equality for transfolks, fine, don't. But saying it's not a trans issue is false, and you certainly shouldn't try to stop trans folks from fighting for their own rights. The trans-folks HRC picked on were fighting *for their own rights*, because transfolks need marriage equality too.
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I love you too Lee and don't want this to be a flame war. I started out by saying it was my opinion, my highly unpopular opinion.
I remember going to NYC to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Stonewall. One of the major groups - HRC or NGLTF - can't remember which - decided that the parade would start with a mile long rainbow flag. For a small fee (like $25) you could be one of the lucky ones who got to carry the flag up 5th Ave. I saw it as a convenient way for closeted people to participate and hide. I was with Kate Bornstein and a few other friends. We decided to go on the alternative march, the one with trannies and people with AIDS who also experienced a high degree of marginalization. We dropped to the ground, locked arms and legs when we got to St Patty's Cathedral and were surrounded by police in riot gear. Everyone locked together and chanted "when you say don't fuck, we say fuck you."
I have always been a queer outside of the mainstream. I never wanted to be one of the lesbian poster children for gay rights. I've never been one of those "look at me. I could be your next door neighbor" types of queers, and trust me, I was hot enough to be put on any poster when I was young.
I believe in all of the subgroups that make up the movement as a whole. I did tremendous amounts of volunteer work for both HRC and NGLTF during my 20 years in the DC area only because I needed to do something to promote the gay rights movement as a whole.
I'm a ticking time bomb with cancer. Yeah, I'm in remission. I have no idea how long that will last before recurrence, and when that comes I will be stage 4/terminal. I don't have time to waste and worry about everyone under the big tent. I'm selfish because I've waited a lifetime for equal rights and I want to see them before I'm dead. I hope the Bs and the Ts get all of the rights they are fighting for and I've paid more than my fair share of dues working for those as well. But now, in this time and space, I'm not the baby dyke I was when the movement was young, handing out pamphlets entitled "There's a Turd in My Tropicana" which advocated the firing of Anita Bryant. I'm old now and I care about me. Marriage equality does not need distractions. The large mainstream groups solicit money from all of the groups under the big tent and also do much to promote their causes too, but this one is big. This one does not need to have any other groups hanging onto it's coat tails. It needs to specifically address the right of gay and lesbian people to marry. Period. That's how I feel and I make no apologies for my feelings. I want all of us to have all of the rights and privileges that we are entitled to, but first and foremost I want the right to get married. I fought long and hard and I deserve it. Once granted, all of the others will fall into place.
I understand transgender issues very well. I have been acquainted with people who were on the forefront of the movement so I don't really need to have anything explained to me. I may only hold a masters from an accredited institution but I got my PhD in Queer Studies from four decades of activism. It's easy for all of us to turn into armchair activists and preach from the safety of our living rooms or to do our part on a small local community scale. I have been in situations where skulls were cracked and people were carted off en masse. I put myself out there and was ready to die for my right, and other people's right to exist, so I really don't need no schoolin.'
As far as the issue that prompted your post is concerned, my understanding is that all groups who held anything other than an American flag were asked to move away from the podium. No one decided it was a good day to pick on the transfolk.
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