Fight or Flight
Instincts. We all have them. One of the instincts we all have is the "Fight or Flight" instinct. When something scares us, we respond one of 2 ways. We run from it or we turn and face it. I know what I do. I fight. I don't like being scared. I don't like being hurt. I don't like being overpowered or intimidated. So, I don't run from what scares me. I face it. It doesn't mean I lash out and attack, but I confront the problem and face it. I fight for what I want.
I am saying this because I have always wondered that about myself. I have never really been in a fight. SCA combat does not count because there are rules and honor system and all the other stuff that goes with it. It is controlled violence. But an actual fight? Not so much. So, I have always wondered. Recently, I have stopped wondering. I don't run from hard times. I don't get scared and hide. No matter how hard it gets, I push to the front and take the beating and keep on. I am a fighter.
On to another thing. I called myself selfish tonight. Pretty much I was saying that I am selfish because I want to be happy. The person I said this to laughed. She laughed. She told me that there were many words that she could use to describe me, but selfish was not one of them. that made me feel pretty good about myself. And then I just suddenly broke down and cried from all the pain I am feeling. Yay, emotions.
So, that is the state of things tonight. I think it is time for sleep. 5:30 comes awfully early when you are still on the internet at 11:00pm.
I am saying this because I have always wondered that about myself. I have never really been in a fight. SCA combat does not count because there are rules and honor system and all the other stuff that goes with it. It is controlled violence. But an actual fight? Not so much. So, I have always wondered. Recently, I have stopped wondering. I don't run from hard times. I don't get scared and hide. No matter how hard it gets, I push to the front and take the beating and keep on. I am a fighter.
On to another thing. I called myself selfish tonight. Pretty much I was saying that I am selfish because I want to be happy. The person I said this to laughed. She laughed. She told me that there were many words that she could use to describe me, but selfish was not one of them. that made me feel pretty good about myself. And then I just suddenly broke down and cried from all the pain I am feeling. Yay, emotions.
So, that is the state of things tonight. I think it is time for sleep. 5:30 comes awfully early when you are still on the internet at 11:00pm.