(no subject)
so. goddamn. irritated. i have a headache right now from how irritated i am.
so, i'm the only one in my group who's trained on this one assay. and for this one release test, i have to do it TWICE. yesterday, on my second run, i discovered that i'd made an error, and had to restart part of it, meaning i had to finish it this morning. so i finished it this morning, and it was fine, and so i put the data into the spreadsheet, and only now did i discover that there was an error in the FIRST test, because A) i didn't notice it during testing -- in fact, i could SWEAR that the first test was perfectly fine, and B) because the damn spreadsheet doesn't do any of the calculations until all of the data is entered. And normally, two people would be doing the test the same day, so it wouldn't be a problem.
i do NOT want to do this test AGAIN. fuck, man, i don't EVER want to do this test again. and if i have one more person look at me like i'm irresponsible and incompetent because i've spent the last 24 working hours performing the SAME FUCKING TEST only to not find out until later that different parts of it didn't work, i'm going to start breaking heads. i'm just so fucking irritated.
i'm tired. i don't want to do this anymore. i don't want to be the only one who's not allowed to do anything wrong. i don't want to have everything expected of me when no one else was willing to get their asses in line to get trained so they could help me.
there's a part of me that's ready to just walk out and leave them all in the lurch right now. i'm half tempted to call out sick tomorrow. of course, if i keep worrying about this and making myself quite nauseous over it, i might have to.
i shouldn't have to remind myself that i like my job. it never used to be a problem.
so, i'm the only one in my group who's trained on this one assay. and for this one release test, i have to do it TWICE. yesterday, on my second run, i discovered that i'd made an error, and had to restart part of it, meaning i had to finish it this morning. so i finished it this morning, and it was fine, and so i put the data into the spreadsheet, and only now did i discover that there was an error in the FIRST test, because A) i didn't notice it during testing -- in fact, i could SWEAR that the first test was perfectly fine, and B) because the damn spreadsheet doesn't do any of the calculations until all of the data is entered. And normally, two people would be doing the test the same day, so it wouldn't be a problem.
i do NOT want to do this test AGAIN. fuck, man, i don't EVER want to do this test again. and if i have one more person look at me like i'm irresponsible and incompetent because i've spent the last 24 working hours performing the SAME FUCKING TEST only to not find out until later that different parts of it didn't work, i'm going to start breaking heads. i'm just so fucking irritated.
i'm tired. i don't want to do this anymore. i don't want to be the only one who's not allowed to do anything wrong. i don't want to have everything expected of me when no one else was willing to get their asses in line to get trained so they could help me.
there's a part of me that's ready to just walk out and leave them all in the lurch right now. i'm half tempted to call out sick tomorrow. of course, if i keep worrying about this and making myself quite nauseous over it, i might have to.
i shouldn't have to remind myself that i like my job. it never used to be a problem.