This needed to be in a separate entry.
On the home front, I think I have to stop hanging out with people as much. I just had an argument with my mom, and we both had good points. But it's true, I can't just shirk my responsibilities. I know that 'All work and no play make Jack a dull boy,' but I really do need to get it together, so it's probably good that she talked some sense into me. Hey, maybe I'll learn to love school if that's where I'll see people most. It's unfair of me to half-ass my keep. As Jolly (USHMM instructor) would say, 'I don't need no half-ass, I need the whole cheek.' My side was that I try to hang out with people when I can because I see a person every few months if I don't have any extracurriculars with them (meaning I can see church kids, CYO youth group not The Church, once a week at CYO, while friends like Edwin get the short end of the stick. What's with all these sayings I keep producing?) If I get...gloomy, then I'll just have to deal with it until everything calms down some.
It sort of sucks because I only said that 'I don't write shit...' bit in the previous entry because that was the only part of the song I could relate too, even though I do write shit. You know, being busy has tampered with various relationships. I'm hopeful that it pays off :) (smiley for saying 'I am hopeful,' not for trying to seem cheery when I'm not). I should stop lying to myself and stop trying to hang out with different people. I was about to write, 'It doesn't matter anyway, I'll have friends in college' only to realize
what the heck I can't say that about my friends. A more delicate as well as truthful to how I feel way to say it is that I want to hang out with friends. I want to be there for them. I don't think they'll mind not seeing me much, they're already used to that as is. I...vehemently, ardently, zealously, strongly and basically really (tried looking up a word because 'really is too overused for 'strongly' but it seems as if casual language has become too casual. That's the plus side of being an English teacher: you can use those words and get away with it and without sounding like a pompous ass. Ms. Feil can, at least) don't want to loose friendships, but if I have responsibilities...then again, don't I have responsibilities to my friends? I can go even farther to question the responsibilities I have to myself because I need some form of enjoyment from the school/work, extracurricular, homework, chores schedule. With that argument, though, there can be the counterargument of there being some forms of enjoyment throughout the day, such as lunch or joking around with friends throughout. Though it may not seem like much, it's better than nothing, and doing all that stuff will be worth it in the end. I'm told that people aren't usually friends with most people from high school in the long run. I'll make friends in college. And though I'd like some social interaction and to be close to people, it seems like I've gotten close to more than I can handle. I can handle it, but not with how the rest of my life is and that, my friends, is the unfortunate truth about my friends.
I say I'll make friends in college. It's possible to find people similar to others, but when it all gets down to it people aren't replaceable. Sure, lose a friend, gain a friend, you're done and good to go. That's just filling up the empty. You can't replace who that person is, who they've become to be out of every single thing that has ever occurred to him or her. Who am I kidding, though. People aren't going to notice much if I don't hang out with them, especially because, as I said earlier, I don't hang out with anybody in particular much more than the rest. Anybody who does notice, well...I wish I could. I even vehemently wish I could :). I can't.
It sort of sucks because I only said that 'I don't write shit...' bit in the previous entry because that was the only part of the song I could relate too, even though I do write shit. You know, being busy has tampered with various relationships. I'm hopeful that it pays off :) (smiley for saying 'I am hopeful,' not for trying to seem cheery when I'm not). I should stop lying to myself and stop trying to hang out with different people. I was about to write, 'It doesn't matter anyway, I'll have friends in college' only to realize
what the heck I can't say that about my friends. A more delicate as well as truthful to how I feel way to say it is that I want to hang out with friends. I want to be there for them. I don't think they'll mind not seeing me much, they're already used to that as is. I...vehemently, ardently, zealously, strongly and basically really (tried looking up a word because 'really is too overused for 'strongly' but it seems as if casual language has become too casual. That's the plus side of being an English teacher: you can use those words and get away with it and without sounding like a pompous ass. Ms. Feil can, at least) don't want to loose friendships, but if I have responsibilities...then again, don't I have responsibilities to my friends? I can go even farther to question the responsibilities I have to myself because I need some form of enjoyment from the school/work, extracurricular, homework, chores schedule. With that argument, though, there can be the counterargument of there being some forms of enjoyment throughout the day, such as lunch or joking around with friends throughout. Though it may not seem like much, it's better than nothing, and doing all that stuff will be worth it in the end. I'm told that people aren't usually friends with most people from high school in the long run. I'll make friends in college. And though I'd like some social interaction and to be close to people, it seems like I've gotten close to more than I can handle. I can handle it, but not with how the rest of my life is and that, my friends, is the unfortunate truth about my friends.
I say I'll make friends in college. It's possible to find people similar to others, but when it all gets down to it people aren't replaceable. Sure, lose a friend, gain a friend, you're done and good to go. That's just filling up the empty. You can't replace who that person is, who they've become to be out of every single thing that has ever occurred to him or her. Who am I kidding, though. People aren't going to notice much if I don't hang out with them, especially because, as I said earlier, I don't hang out with anybody in particular much more than the rest. Anybody who does notice, well...I wish I could. I even vehemently wish I could :). I can't.