I TOO WAS A BABY FANGIRL
Part One of Meg's Awful College Novel here, read and review plz omgkthx :(
CHAPTER FIVE
These dreams were worse, because he couldn't escape them.
He saw another creature, half-human, half-feline, drop down out of the branches with a terrible snarl, and break the creature's neck. Then he saw it - no, him - pull the creature away from him, and Than gasp, "Valtr!"
So that was Valtr, Kieran thought. He couldn't follow the thought because Than was bending over him, her eyes so big they swallowed her face. Aria reappeared and sat on his chest, patting his face to make him wake up. She trilled anxiously, and he wanted to reassure her, but he couldn't speak.
Then the darkness swallowed him again.
Well, shadowborn, said the icy voice.
He turned his face away from it. It only wanted to remind him of his failure, and he didn't need that. He realized that he stood on the edge of a great, sandy mesa, like the ones that were supposed to be in the Jadenite desert. The colors were vivid, intense; fiery reds and yellows and oranges. The sun was setting. He could see all the way into it, to the house where the God was supposed to live. It was even more vivid than the rocks, if possible, with pinks and reds and even purples flaming bright. A wind blew, hot and dusty. He looked down to the desert floor, and saw dragons gathering, their hues nearly overpowering the desert's colors.
The dragons are gathering, said a voice beside him, a voice too calm and composed. He looked, and saw the black haired lady, dressed in a robe that made her look like a red and living flame.
Lady, he said, you are burning.
Yes, she said, calmly, I am.
Why do you not go to the ocean, or the rivers, or the snow? He saw, without seeing, that the dragons were circling a human female, who was made of gold and flame.
If I went to the ocean, said the lady, it would dry, and if I went to the rivers, they would boil.
And of the snows, lady?
I do not know, she replied, and burnt away, leaving a small heap of ashes in her place.
The darkness came again.
Than again, her face haggard with worry. "Wake up," she said, sharply. "Damn you, Kieran, wake up!"
He tried to obey, but the darkness wouldn't let him go.
More images.
The harper-prince, screaming, "Riiiii-naaaaa!" as the lady, dressed in white, fell from a cliff. He watched as the lady became a swan and flew.
Fenyas, prowling a grove where a stone stood, long and wide like a bier. It was covered by white silk embroidered with protective runes and symbols, and he looked at what lay on it, knowing what he would find. The lady, dressed in jade and lapis lazuli, lay with her arms crossed over her breast, as if she were dead. He could see her chest rising and falling, and he knew that she was merely asleep. The harper-prince, again, kneeling as if in prayer, his head pillowed against her side. He, too, slept. And above them, the black ravens...
---
He opened his eyes again. Aria lay on his chest, and Than held his hand. He felt their warmth flow into his body.
"Din-dt die?" he slurred.
"No," said Than, "You didn't."
"Ssorry," he said, even though the effort cost him too much energy.
"Sorry, what?"
"Ssorry I - dindt die..."
Aria hissed. Her claws dug sharply into his chest. Than's hand tightened roughly on his. "Don't say that," she said. "Don't say that."
"True," he insisted. "Should've died. Halfling. Shadowbourn. Should have died for you."
"That's not true," she said, and he felt her vital force flowing through him, warming his cold blood. She looked like a flame, fierce and beautiful, and warm, so warm.
"Beau-ful," he said, slurring again. "Like a flame." He closed his eyes again, and then forced them open. It was hard, but there was something he had to say. "Than?"
"Yes?"
"Love you," he mumbled, "Love Aria, too. And my mother. But - specially you."
Than was silent for so long he looked toward her, alarmed. Her face was wet with tears. For him? Nobody cried for him. On his chest, Aria trilled and oozed her way up. She butted his chin anxiously, and purred.
"Than?" he said. The darkness was coming again, and he selfishly wanted to hear Than's response.
"I love you too," said Than.
Kieran tried to smile. Then he pulled their entwined hands to his face, and rested his head against them.
"Worsh ways to die," he mumbled.
"If you die," said Than, coldly, "I am going to murder you."
Which typically Thannish remark almost gave him the strength to laugh before the darkness swallowed him again.
---
Than closed the door softly and snurfled. She hated being emotional, she really did. She stared at the floor - mosiac roses on a background of black and white squares - and concentrated on not crying. She snuffled again. Her eyes and nose were filling up, and her lips were trembling, but she wasn't going to cry.
A black furred hand appeared in her line of vision, holding out a fine linen handkercheif. Than burst into tears.
"Come nnow," said Valtr, his voice gentle, if growlly, "Thhinngss arrre not ssso bad."
"Easy for you to say," said Than, accepting the handkerchief and blowing her nose violently. It didn't help. She sniffed again, and looked up. Through the haze of tears, Valtr looked like a large, dark mountain with whiskers. And fangs. "He s-said he was sorry he didn't die."
"We musst prray to the Ladiess," said Valtr, "And keep himm warrrm, and ffeed himm well. He will be allrrright."
Than accepted this for what it was worth. Valtr had an unshakable and somewhat feline belief in the power of keeping people warm and fed when sick, or upset, or depressed, or to keep them from becoming sick, depressed or upset. He also firm faith in his Ladies, who were somewhat like the Fates, and somewhat like Bastet, Persephone, and
Kuan-yin, respectively, if those good ladies had a passion for jasmine incense and gooey pastries. Than always got the impression that Valtr thought of them sitting somewhere on a cloud, spinning or drinking tea, and keeping half an eye on the world below to see if the mortals were doing anything interesting.
"Sure," said Than. She scrubbed her eyes with the hankie and then looked at Valtr again. "I think I'll go down to the chapel for a while - he's asleep right now."
"I will ssit withh himm," said Valtr, and smiled at her, a surprisingly sweet smile, considering the fangs. "Do not worrry."
He slipped into the room before Than could reply.
---
The chapel was set in a small courtyard just outside the main house. Instead of being pine and plain stone like the main house, it was marble and carved with stylized roses and vines. The entrance was a trellis of blood red roses. Now that she came to think of it, Valtr had nothing but red roses. Funny. He and Ice Falcon were the only mages she knew that grew roses. Most of them didn't have the patience for it, and if they did, they thought it was more of a Challenge to produce them magically.
Valtr really did have a beautiful garden, but it was quiet. Too quiet, almost. No bees were buzzing, no insects were doing their best to eat the plants alive, no birds were eating the insects eating the plants. It was as perfect and ordered as a graveyard.
She took another careful look around the garden, trying to see something, anything that was alive. A flash of white caught her eye, and she turned to see a young woman dressed in a white gown. It was obviously the dress of a high ranking lady - for one thing, nobody else could afford to be wearing that much extra fabric. The lady glided across the lawn, white hands holding up her pearlesent skirts, and slipped into a small pavilion that Than hadn't noticed before.
Than stared after her, and then decided not to bother. Something was up there, but she would only get Valtr upset by prying. She shook her head and turned toward the chapel again.
The chapel was divided into a small foyer, and the main chapel. The foyer was plain and starkly appointed, as befitted a place of worship. It had hooks for cloaks and shelves for shoes. Valtr had somehow managed to divert a small stream, and it fell from the top of the wall, bounced down several basins, and burbled its way to a low, wide fountain, and thence to a stream bed that passed beside the entrance to the chapel proper, and then disappeared outside again. There was some magical reason for this, but it boiled down to the fact that evil spirits were afraid of living water.
Than took off her shoes then washed her face, hands and feet. She crossed the stream and entered the chapel. It was a quiet place, with small alcoves lining the walls and smelling distinctly of jasmine and fresh air. The main altar was to the Ladies. Their images stood on it. The Kuan-yin one looked gentle and sad, as if she knew a secret and it upset her. The Persephone was regal but had an air of mischief about her, like she was up for an occasional prank or two. The Bastet had a cat's head, and sat curled with easy grace. Her ears were pricked, belying the bored expression on her face. On the altar before them lay wreaths of jasmine, several pieces of hundred-paper pastry and a stick of jasmine incense, half consumed. Than bowed politely and lit another stick of incense for them.
Then she turned to another section of the chapel. Valtr had made it for her when she had just come to this world. She had tried to explain Christian theology to him, but he'd only gotten thoroughly confused. He had, however, made an altar for the Tri-Personed God for her, and was very good about lighting incense everyday. Than hoped God understood. She liked the altar, made of plain light pine with Valtr's idea of a cross - rather Celtic meets Star Trek - and a meditation stone set in the center. The stone was crystal clear but subtly colored with rose and blue tones. In front of the altar was a low kneeling stool covered in white brocade. Than lit a cone of incense and knelt. She folded her hands and stared into the stone.
Than was the last person in the world - either world - to think she saw things when none were there, but it was certainly a fact that whenever she went to this altar and looked into the stone, things had a way of appearing in it. What and why varied, always, but she had come to expect a vision when she came to the chapel. The stone's colors began to shift and swirl, and gradually the stone clouded over.
She saw a man, with hair as black as Kieran's, but with blue eyes, as blue, she thought distantly, as lapis lazuli or sapphire. He looked very tired, and he moved as though he was lame from some old wound or illness. Step, drag, balance, drop. Than remembered seeing someone who had polio moving like that. He wore the enveloping cloak of a High Mage, one who had spent many years learning his magic. He moved painfully to a small, white room, painted with fenyas with bright ribbons tied around their necks. There were four fenyas lying in the room, but they only lifted their heads, with their silver, jeweled collars, and then laid them down again, as if they knew he posed no threat. A nursery, evidently, for the man went to a small crib hung with gauzy drapes, and lifted the child within it. A little girl, with the same hair and eyes.
He held her to his chest, and rocked her. The little girl smiled and clutched at her father's cloak. The man crooned at her, and she laid her head on his chest.
The vision shifted, and she saw the same man, kneeling beside a low bed - a boy's room this time, painted white with pictures of knights and dragons. He smoothed the hair of the boy in the bed. Than looked at the boy, and realized, with a small shock, that it was Kieran he knelt beside, Kieran at the age of perhaps of five or six.
"You have a little sister," said the man, his voice low and deep. "Ah, little dark one, what will happen to the two of you?" He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again, and looked down at Kieran again. In his eyes was an expression of tenderness and sadness and love, and Than knew that the man didn't want to leave his son, or his daughter. He took a deep breath, and then said, his voice rough, "The time will come, little son, that you will meet her. And the time will also come ..." He trailed off.
Boy-Kieran stirred, and lifted his heavy lashes. "Papa?" he asked sleepily.
"Yes," said the man, "Papa. Sleep, little one. Sleep."
Kieran's eyes fell closed again. The man tucked in the covers again, and rose. "Be you brave and strong," he said. "Be you bright and loving." And he turned, and limped away into a bright light, so bright Than had to close her eyes against it. When she opened them again, she only saw the stone, and the altar, and the tears that had rolled down her cheeks and shone like diamonds against the pine.
Chapter Six
"Ice Falcon," said Than, "What, exactly, do you know about the Blood Rose?"
Ice Falcon looked up. "Than, what are you doing here?"
He gestured to a chair and it moved to behind Than, who sat down with a tired thump. "And where is Kieran?"
"Kieran got sick," she said, leaning her head back. It had been a hard, fast journey. "Or rather, we got attacked by a lupine and he was wounded badly. Fortunately we were in Valtr's territory and he rescued us. Kieran survived, but he won't do anything except stare at the wall and will himself to death. I was in the chapel and I Saw something in the moonstone. I couldn't do anything for Kieran, and something about the Blood Rose is worrying me, so I came here."
"Hm," said Ice Falcon. "What, exactly, did you see?"
"I saw a High Mage in a room decorated with fenyas, and he held a little girl with black hair and blue eyes," said Than, bluntly. There was no good way to put this. "Then I saw the High Mage go into a little boy's room, and I looked, and saw Kieran as a child. I heard the man say that he had a little sister, and wish him brave and strong and loving, and then he tucked in the blankets around Kier and walked into a bright light."
Ice Falcon's jaw was slack, and his eyes were the color of dull steel. "That's impossible," he said flatly. He shook his head, still looking dazed. "It's - absurd. Ridiculous. The College has seen no sign - Creator of All, you can't have shadowbeast blood and hide it."
"Can't you?" said Than. "Might I remind you that female power comes into full force only after first childbirth? And that you've told me yourself that most shadowbeast children are male?" She twisted her hand out so her palm was up and her fingers pointed toward Ice Falcon. "You have no way of knowing."
"Yes, but this is - " Ice Falcon shook his head. "It can't be." He stared into space. "At least, I hope it can't be. Lord and Lady above, if this is true, Saphirine is - " He stopped again.
"Don't tell me," said Than, wearily. "The world as we know it is about to end again, right?"
"You could say that." Ice Falcon got up and strode purposefully toward the door, which suddenly led to a room lined with books. "I need to look something up."
Than got up and followed him.
---
Why had he told her he loved her?
One part of Kieran's mind said that she had cried and told him she loved him too.
Another part said, she had just got attacked by a lupine and you tried to rescue her, moron. It's nerves and gratitude.
Still, she had told him that if he died, she'd murder him.
She'd say that to anybody.
But she had said it to him.
He wasn't worthy of her.
The first part of his mind couldn't argue with that. He remembered the subtle whispers and induendoes, the mocking of the other, true elves. Halfling, they called him, Round-Eared, Human-Get. They tripped him up and made remarks about always being able to see him in a crowd because of his hair.
Why hadn't he died? He deserved to die.
---
Ice Falcon was pulling books from shelves as fast as he could. The library was painted white and had excellent indirect lighting to make up for the fact that no direct sun was allowed in, for fear of damaging the books. Than picked up one of the books and looked at it. For a moment the lettering was unfamiliar, and then she felt the singing in her eyes that meant her Gift was picking up the language. YE HISTORYE OF YE REIGNS OF YE HIGHE PRINCESES OF JADEN, it read, Beinge a True and Faithefull accounte of ye deedes and Grate Dooings of ye Rulers of ye Lande of Jaden, Ye Js'drea. Her Gift was still getting used to the script when she opened it and looked at a random page.
Nowe, on thys daye it camme to passe, that fomeone from ye Highprincefs's Houfehold betrayed Her, and Ceridwyn, called the Brave, was forced to flee for her life, and betook herself to the mountains. There she wandered for many months, until she was delievered of a girl child, called, Ariana, the Lovely. With the birthing of Ariana, Ceridwyn's powers came into full being, and she bound up her child, and placed her on her back, and went once more to Lywyn, the Marble City. And she fought the Usurper, and won, but before the Wicked Person died, he said unto her, I will Remember This, Unto the days of your Farthest Daughter. And she replied unto him, And I and my Daughters as Well. So died the Usurper.
Curious, she flipped to the end of the book, and read,
And it came to pass that Cadence, called the Proud, took as her lover a High Mage, whom nobody had ever seen or known. And by him she conceived and bare a daughter, Saphirine, so named for her eyes, which even as a child were as blue as the sapphire stones found in the mountains. After the birth of Saphirine, Cadence's lover disappeared, and she took in return another, who watched her daughter grow in power and beauty, and desired her.
"This is current," said Than, surprised.
"It's about six months behind," said Ice Falcon, bringing another load of books. "Sometimes it lags more, sometimes it lags less. What's the last sentence?"
"'And Cadence's lover, by guile made her promise her daughter Saphirine to him, in spite of the Law, and her daughter Saphirine cried out, with a loud voice, I shall Not! The Fenyas roared in reply, and power crackled around Saphirine, who disappeared amid lightening.'" Than read. "What law is that?"
"The High Princesses are supposed to choose their own mates," explained Ice Falcon, stacking books neatly. "Look under Hana."
Than did. "Isn't being mauled by fenyas while in bed with one's mistress a trifle, um, harsh?"
"He beat her so her child died unborn," said Ice Falcon, his voice hard and cold. "I would have done worse."
Somehow, Than didn't doubt it.
"The High Princesses have had a lot of trouble, haven't they?" she said, thoughtfully. "Ceridwyn had to flee for her life, and Hana was abused -"
"And Thimina had her hands cut off, and had to make herself silver ones, and Renath was put under an ironspell, and her husband had to travel seven years to break it. Yes. It's often that way with the great mage-families. Something about so much power draws misfortune." Ice Falcon paused, and his eyes focused on something else. "At times," he said slowly, "It's as if they bring it on themselves. There's an old story told by harpers, about a girl with a wild talent, who let her stepmother and sisters abuse her, and sat by the ashes. They say it was because she had no way to get training, and her gift was so strong she had to learn to discipline it somehow, or die. So she let herself become a slave."
"That sounds like Cinderella," said Than.
Ice Falcon blinked. "Does it? Perhaps it is, then." He shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "At any rate, it's understandable that they've had so much trouble. Pain is - an effective way of taming power."
"It can't be good, though," said Than.
"No, not good," he agreed. "But very, very effective. Too effective, almost." He paused. "As the Js'drea have learned." He shrugged. "Anyway. I wonder where Runt is?"
"Runt?" said Than.
As if on cue, there was a thump from the top balcony, and a patter of feet. Someone mirred, and Than jumped as a cat landed on the table. It was huge, and looked bigger because of it's long, silky fur. It was a classic tuxedo with spotless white shirtfront and gloves and spats, and a long, magnificently plumy tail.
"That cat is no runt," said Than. Runt banged her chin affectionately with his head and she staggered back. "Good Lord, he must be at least forty pounds."
"Fifty, actually," said Ice Falcon. "He got named Runt because he's either a very large littlecat, or the runt of a fenya litter, and no one's been able to tell which." He scratched Runt's head, and Runt commenced a deep, room-shaking purr. "He's our librarian."
---
[Scene from Kieran's POV? Ooh! What if Kieran runs off?]
---
Several hours later Ice Falcon emerged from the pile of books that he had buried himself in. "I think I found something," he announced.
Than looked up from the book of portraits she was studying. The Js'drea all seemed to be beautiful women - and if they weren't, quite, they had a glamour about them that made them appear so. Some of them looked kind and gentle, some looked proud and haughty. Some looked sad, but behind the sadness lurked the steel of known and proven power. Perhaps, Than thought, they were sad because of the power. She shivered, looking at the picture of the current Heiress. She must be very alone.
"What did you find?" she asked.
"A treatise on wild talents," he said. "Namely, female wild talents." He brandished a slim leather-covered volume. "It's rather an obscure topic," he said. "Mostly wild talents are male."
"That doesn't make sense," said Than.
"It does, in a way. Most female talent gets absorbed into the creation of children. So if you have a line of mage-talent, and they generally have female children, any males born into that line will appear to have a wild talent."
Than thought that over. "So that line of females would just - I'm confused. How does the Mage-gift work in with creating children?"
Ice Falcon laid the book down. "Bearing a child is considered a creative act," he said. "And if a woman has mage talent, a great deal of it is poured into the effort of helping the child achieve birth. So, a woman with an average level of mage talent could possibly not realize it - in theory, at least - because she has always been occupied with the bearing and raising of children. She might have a gift for Seeing things, or be able to work minor charms and spells, but she wouldn't appear to be fully gifted until menopause."
"Because her body would no longer be capable of bearing children?" Than tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But if you didn't realize you had a Gift until you were what, at least 40, you wouldn't be able to access it completely, right?"
"Right. At least not consciously. Most women of that variety become wise-women or midwives."
"That doesn't seem quite fair, though," said Than, feeling she had to uphold her feminist upbringing. "Not knowing you had a gift because your body was using it for childbearing."
"Yes, but many more women have the potential for great mage-talent than men, and that only applies to women of average talent. The female Great Talents are nothing to mess with." He picked up the book again. "Anyway. Generally what will happen with wild talents is that a female line will suddenly produce a male - and it's said that the female Gifted can chose the sex of their children, by the way - and nobody can figure out why this non - or - mildly magical family has produced a mage."
"I don't see what this has to do with the High Princesses," said Than.
"Saphirine has too much Talent," Ice Falcon said bluntly. "Even considering that her father might have had shadowbeast blood. She's in danger of being overwhelmed by her own - Ahh, gods!" he cried. He crumpled to the ground and rolled into a ball, his hands covering his head.
"Are you all right?" Than dropped down beside him.
"Too much," he gasped. "Go away! Can't handle -" His face twisted violently. "Peace! Only go - "
Than was aware of a humming sensation, like bad electricity, but Ice Falcon looked like he'd been hit by lightening. She spread her hands out and imagined a shield around Ice Falcon, and he relaxed, but not enough.
"Go," he said, "Please. Hurting me..."
Than heard it, a mental scream of sorrow and helplessness. It intensified and she closed her eyes against it. It was gone in the next instant. Just as suddenly, the shrill hum of power disappeared, and Ice Falcon was, mercifully, unconscious.
Than got up slowly, and found a pillow to put under Ice Falcon's head.
Runt meowed, and she turned to look at him. She felt slow, mired in quicksand. He was nudging a book open, and she went to him and looked at the page revealed.
"'Power-sickness'," she read aloud, forcing the words through the thickness, "'caused by too much power or lack of control of it. Can also be induced. In bystanders, can cause extreme headaches and shield breakdowns. Leads to illness, disorientation, madness, uncontrolled shape-shifting, and finally, disintegration of selfhood, ending in death. May be controlled by use of stones, but the only cure is finding an adequate Ground. Survival rate: one in one hundred billion.'" She looked up into Runt's gold-grey eyes. "Poor princess," she said, slurring. "She's going to die."
Chapter Seven
Than never remembered how long she stayed awake, grimly poring over book after book, writing pages of notes on the Js'drea, powersickness and shadowbeasts. It was like cramming for a test, but a test that meant the world, literally. She had to remember all this. No time for exhaustion now, but she knew that later she was going to collapse. It couldn't be helped. She just had to remember.
When she finally lifted her blurring eyes from her notes, she saw Ice Falcon had woke up and was sitting on the floor, watching her. He looked very old. Than realized, suddenly, that she had known him for two hundred years, as they reckoned time here. She wondered how many years had passed on Terra, and what would have changed if she went back. Too much, probably. She had never wanted to go back.
"Do you feel better?" She tried to get up, but the world swam blackly and she had to sit down again.
"Not really." He pushed himself up to his hands and knees and then weaved to his feet. Than knew he had to be feeling bad to be that clumsy. Generally Ice Falcon moved like the cats he spent so much time with. He took a step forward and stopped, very delicately. "Creator of all, I feel as if I was ground for flour. How are you?"
"Not so bad." She rubbed her temples. "I wasn't affected so much, but I tried to shield you. It helped that I'm not from this world, I think."
Ice Falcon tried to nod wisely, and stumbled. He managed to correct himself enough to stagger to a nearby chair and collapse in a more-or-less sitting position. "I wish Una were here," he said dismally.
"Una?" repeated Than.
"She hasn't been here for the longest time." Than realized that he wasn't so much talking to her as he was thinking aloud. "Not for years and years," he said. "And years. Used to pop in all the time and tell me I was moldering away. Needed an adventure, she said. Then she'd drag me out and we'd go out and save a kingdom or find a legendary jewel or something. I miss her."
It dawned on Than that he was still reacting to the surge. Shock, she thought. Endorphins. Pain wossnames were racing through his body. He was definitely shivering; she could see him shuddering from where she sat.
"Runt," she said, "You'd better sit on Ice Falcon."
Runt did. Ice Falcon buried his hands in Runt's fur, and said, "Maybe she's dead. Always too reckless for her own good. Dead. Lying in a ditch or a canyon somewhere, or frozen on top of a mountain. No one to light her pyre or build her cairn." His brow furrowed. "I'd know if she was dead. Wouldn't I? Ought to go see." He tried to get up and seemed to notice Runt for the first time. "Drat you, cat," he said mildly, "Get off me. Have to go see if Una's all right."
Runt hunched into a leaden ball. Ice Falcon lifted puzzled eyes to Than.
"How'd he get on my lap?"
"He jumped," Than said.
"Oh." Ice Falcon pondered this. "But I have to find Una. She's a demigoddess, you know. Father was a god of something. Used to tease her about it, ask if she had a temple somewhere. She took me there once. Very uncomfortable life, being a demigoddess. Everyone wants you to heal them or fight for them or forgive them or something. No wonder she went on adventures."
"I'm sure," said Than. "Ice Falcon, you're in shock. You need to rest."
"Shock? Why? Oh. Saphirine didn't mean to. Sorry for it." He laid his head against the high back of the chair. "Just a little rest," he mumbled. "Then I'll go find Una." His head lolled to the side and in the next instant he was sound asleep.
Than looked down at her notes. She needed to work more on them, but her eyelids were leaden, and closing without her conscious will. Her head was as heavy as marble, and she put it down on the table. She would just close her eyes for one minute...
---
One part of Kieran's mind observed that he was quite delirious. The rest of his mind was too busy watching the pretty purple fenyas dancing on the walls in between getting in his clothing and preparing to climb out the window to care, or to do anything if he did. He had to get out. Something to do with Than, and something to do with the girl with black hair, who was going to burn up or freeze or something if she didn't get help.
Aria did not approve. She sat on the bed with her ears back and her tail lashing, but she couldn't, or wouldn't, stop him. He gave her his best and most cajoling smile, and said, "Don't fuss, Aria. I'll be fine."
Aria's face showed patent disbelief. If she had movable eyebrows, they would have been somewhere around the ceiling. The small rational part of his mind observed she had a point. "You can come, if you like," he offered, feeling very generous.
Aria hrffed. Kieran had never quite heard her make that particular noise before, but he recognized it as the feline equivalent of when Than looked him up and down, raised one eyebrow, smiled in a mysterious and pitying way and then turned away while saying, just loud enough for him to hear, "Males." She always managed to say it in a tone that managed to convey his deep and utter lack of something. He wasn't quite sure what, of course, but something. It must be some sort of female thing.
Still, Aria got up, deliberately washed a paw and then fluttered to his side, looking martyred. Kieran opened the window and looked down. It was only five feet, into a freshly worked flower-bed. Aria hopped to the ledge and fluttered down again, clearly thinking that if they were going to be going, they ought to do so as quickly as possible. Kieran jumped down, and they snuck out. Or rather, Kieran snuck, Aria padded beside him making pointed comments with her tail.
Valtr watched them go, and then turned and went into the chapel to light an extra cone or so of incense under all the altars. They would need all the help they could get.
Chapter Eight
"WHAT?" Than hopped up and down several times in sheer frustration.
"I amm ssorrry, Thann, but I did not feel lead to ssstop them." Valtr's voice was calm, but his eyes were wary, and his hands were buried in his robe.
"Son-of-a-stupid-half-bazonka'd-little-copper-based-moron!" said Than. "Fever-ridden asinine rodent eaten mothball of a dingbat male! Little knothead of a half-brained mule! Dammit, he's still sick!"
"Really, Than," said Ice Falcon, mildly, "there's no sense in hopping up and down and swearing, is there?"
"Yes, there is," said Than. "It's making me feel better, dammit, and I don't have time to cry."
Since Ice Falcon had a horror of female tears almost as great as Valtr's (for different reasons), he conceded the point. Very reluctantly. Than took a deep breath, counted to ten, counted to ten in H'aiian, counted to ten in Qwert, and then counted to twenty in Japanese, which was always the hardest. Then she looked at Valtr again. He looked back at her with steady gold-grey eyes, and she sighed. "I don't like this," she said, running her hand through her hair.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall - framed in rosewood, etched with roses around the side - and made a face. Her hair was wild and getting worse from her hand dragging through it, her face was dirty and there were smudges of purple under her eyes and her clothes looked like they'd just spent the last several hours on someone alternately crashing through heavy forest and holding onto someone hopping large distances. Than hated hopping. It wasn't so much the distance covered, as it was the nasty rushing feeling, and it had been worse than usual because Ice Falcon had claimed he was perfectly fine. Than had held her tongue because she knew what that set to Ice Falcon's mouth meant, but the hopping had been especially nightmarish.
And now Kieran had run off to God knew where and she had, in one very small portion of herself that she had hidden carefully away from the rest of her, been hoping to see him smiling and recovered and be able to curl up beside him and sleep. It was only now that he was gone and she couldn't do it that she admitted it to herself.
"Well, hell," she said finally. "Do you have any idea where he went?"
"The forrresst," said Valtr. He played with the cuffs of his robe, and then went to the side of the room and picked up a small silver chime-ball. He rolled it in his hands, and then turned to face Than again.
Than looked into Valtr's grey-gold eyes, staring hard. Valtr looked away first, and Than felt a little guilty. "We've got to do something," she said.
"Yes, but what?" said Ice Falcon. "We don't know where the prince went, we think the heiress of Jaden is in trouble, we know she's got a case of powersickness, and that the Bloodrose has something to do with it all. Other than that, we've got a great big bloody pile of nothing." He let out a breath in a short, fustrated huff.
"It isss not immpossible," said Valtr, quickly. "Notthing iss imposssible. We will figurre it out ssomehow."
"Yes?" said Ice Falcon. "With three clues and a suggestion?" He glared at Valtr. "What do you suggest? Find a magic book that says, Oh, to cure the Heiress and save the world, just give her this root at the dark of the moon while singing a children's song that just happens to be a powerful spell forgotten by magi? Or have some sort of mystical experience wherein all the secrets of the universe are revealed, and it turns out the universes are contained in a blade of lavender grass? Hmm?"
"For a mage," said Valtr, very precisely, "You seem to have a great contempt for the complexities of the circle of Life."
It's like one of those logic puzzles, thought Than, that her grandmother used to do, the advanced type where they gave you three clues and the form, and it wasn't what they told you that counted, but what they didn't. Or the pictures where you had to step back and squint and then let your eyes go half out of focus to make it change from an abstract paisley thing to a flower or a lion.
The trouble was, of course, that she had always been very bad at both. She needed to think. She needed to lay things out and sort them until she saw the pattern. She stared without seeing at the floor, white and red roses intertwined. If I were a mage, she thought, a powerful one, what would I fear?
"Yes?" said Ice Falcon. "What do you know about magic forces?"
"Morrre thannn you do," snapped Valtr.
Than rubbed her head. Her head was hurting. "Guys," she said.
Valtr made a odd, low chuffing noise, a challenge. Ice Falcon laughed.
"Guys."
"I'd like to see you - " Ice Falcon began.
"GUYS!!"
They looked at her. Than went dizzy for a tiny second and then steadied herself. The headache was worse, a dull throb behind her thoughts, which were icy clear and sharp. "I don't want to hear another word out of either of you," she said. "You're acting like territorial three-year-olds. Now shut up and let me think."
The two males exchanged glances - very male glances, that said, she's gone batty, what's this female doing telling us to shut up? We're not acting like three year olds. She needs to lie down.
Than's headache got worse.
"Thhan," Valtr began, soothingly. Than turned and looked at him, and one part of her mind observed, interestedly, that somehow her lip had lifted and she was showing her teeth at Valtr. He took a step back but didn't look down, and Than growled, very softly. Valtr looked down and away.
Than felt suddenly ashamed of herself. It wasn't his fault that Kieran had left, after all, and here she was taking it out on him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."
Than rubbed her head again. It was so hard to think and she had to. "I'm going to the chapel," she said, and left.
--
No visions came to her in the chapel, though she stared into the milky white stone until her eyes grew dry. Finally she rose and walked quietly back to the main house. She glanced over to the little pavilion and caught a glimpse of the lady in white, looking at her. She turned and stared, and they looked at each other for a while. Then the other glanced up at a window, smiled slightly and made Than a deep and graceful curtsey, and glided off. Than shook her head. It certainly wasn't her business, but she did wonder what Valtr was getting himself into. He was supposed to be a shapeshifter, but he had been in the in-between state for so long Than doubted he could fully change into either form, and it was bound to be affecting him physically, at least. Mentally, too. He was much more jumpy now than he was when she had first met him, and now there was this spirit in his house. Than wasn't an expert on such things, but she guessed she knew her fairy tales enough to have an idea of what was going to happen next.
But maybe not. The lady looked very grave and gentle and sweet, but she also had a look about her that suggested that if something did happen, Valtr would acquire a whole new understanding of the term 'on his toes', and possibly that of 'wrapped around a little finger', as well. Than grinned. That would be something to see.
She turned again to the house and went in, walking slowly to the room Kieran had been in. She sat down on the bed and looked around. Everything was almost the same, still full of his presence. A faint bit of his scent lingered on the pillow, spicy and faintly sweet. She was really gone. Than wanted to laugh at herself, sitting here worrying over someone she had known, what, four or five weeks now, though it seemed so much longer, but found that her throat was too tight to do it. She flung herself down on the bed and buried her head in the pillow, which smelt more strongly of Kieran, and gave herself up to waves of depression.
She felt the bed sink, and a hand placed itself delicately on her back, the more delicately for being more of a paw with only semi-retractable claws. The other side of the bed sank, too, and another hand joined the first.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you two," she said through the pillow.
"It isss all rrright," said Valtr, gently.
"No," said Than, "It isn't." She sat up and looked from one slightly anxious and guilty face to another, and sighed. "I need to go and find him," she said.
"How?" asked Ice Falcon. He looked at her and then said, quickly, "and I am not scything in this area, either. It's too dark."
"I didn't ask you to, did I?" said Than. "No. It wouldn't work anyway."
Ice Falcon looked offended. "Are you saying I couldn't?" he demanded.
"No," she said, "I'm saying it would be useless. He took the Blood Rose."
Ice Falcon said something under his breath. It wasn't a word people used in normal conversation.
---
[wanderings in forest]
Kieran was following the light of an inner beacon through the forest. He knew, in one part of his mind, that he was sick and burning with fever, but the rest of him didn't care. A voice in his mind said, let it burn that it might sear away... he tried to pay attention to it and it promptly faded. It was strange, this fever, a burning without pain, searing without heat. He realised that it seemed to be coming from his pocket, and he reached in it and pulled out the Blood Rose.
It was flaming with a fire barely contained within the bounds of the crystal, an inner fire that leaped and rolled and boiled as if it was a living thing, trapped. Kieran held it in his hands and stared at it. The fire changed into something more controlled and infinitely more dangerous. He wasn't frightened, though the jewel in his hands was glowing like a thousand suns and he felt the heat from it going into his skin and flaming the bones of his hand almost unbearably. The heat raced down his skeleton and insinuated itself in the delicate pathways of his nerves, rushed through his veins and turned his blood to lava, and then filled his heart and his mind in a blinding explosion of diamond light. Kieran flung his head back and cried out, words he had never heard, but knew from the deepest part of his being.
Somewhere inside he heard a voice say, quietly, And so it is begun.
He, Kieran, pulled away from his body and watched as it was raised and buffeted by waves of ruby light. His body was still calling out hoarse unknown words, and slowly, slowly, the waves calmed and began to order themselves in a quickening spiral. Kieran watched them carefully as they filled his body and did things to it. His clothing bleached and then darkened to the color of the ruby in his hands, and then he went back to his body in a rush. The color of the Bloodrose filled his mind-
And then it was over.
Kieran fell to the ground and took deep, labouring breaths until the heat dissipated. He looked up, and the Blood Rose fell down beside him. He picked it up, carefully. The colors were less intense, but he knew that there was still much power in it. But there was no danger of this unbecoming happening to him again. That was over. It was a tool for him now, not a living being. Kieran had come into his own.
There was an anxious mirr from beside him, and he looked down at Aria, whose fur was bushed up so she looked the size of two Arias, and whose ears still laid flat against her skull. "It's all right. Aria," he said, distantly surprised that he could still speak, "Come here, girl."
Aria crept closer, and Kieran laid his hand gently on her smooth fur. Something sparked, and Aria hissed. Kieran snatched his hand away. "I'm sorry, Aria! I didn't mean to - " He stopped. The Blood Rose was glowing again, and around Aria's neck a red light was swirling. There was a soft, bright glow, and Aria wore a collar that bore a more than suspicious resemblence to a liquid ruby. Aria sat up, squinted down at it, looked up at him, squinted down again, and then visibly preened. Kieran rolled his eyes. "Females," he said.
Aria purred.
Chapter Nine
"Than!"
That sounded like Kieran. But it couldn't be. Kieran was somewhere in the forest, lost and probably dying, and she was at Valtr's [place] still. It was an illusion, made of her wish to see him again and the few hours of sleep she had wrestled. Than turned over and stared at the window.
"Than, damn it! Come to the window!" the voice hissed. "It's me, Kieran."
"I'm dreaming," she said aloud.
"No, you're not," said the impossible, familiar voice. "Would you please come to the window?"
"Why should I?"
There was an audible grinding of teeth outside. "Because I'm asking politely?"
"It's probably a trap," said Than, cheering up. "If I go to the window there'll be a demon or a anim or something and it will make me let it in so it has an invitation to the house and we'll all die horribly."
There was a pause. Finally, the voice said, "Than?"
"Yes?"
"You are my true and destined mate, and I love you more than life itself, but you are really paranoid, did you know that?"
"Kieran," said Than, "Go to a foreign world, and live there for five hundred years as a wanderer and fighter, and then call me paranoid."
"Point taken. Now will you please come to the window?"
"Why can't you come in? You've been invited once already."
The moonlight streamed gently through the window. Kieran was silent for a moment, and then said, "Put it this way. It would be discourteous."
And that's where it ends, but I think there was an epic battle and probably mind melds and I DON'T KNOW, I WAS NINETEEN ;^;
CHAPTER FIVE
These dreams were worse, because he couldn't escape them.
He saw another creature, half-human, half-feline, drop down out of the branches with a terrible snarl, and break the creature's neck. Then he saw it - no, him - pull the creature away from him, and Than gasp, "Valtr!"
So that was Valtr, Kieran thought. He couldn't follow the thought because Than was bending over him, her eyes so big they swallowed her face. Aria reappeared and sat on his chest, patting his face to make him wake up. She trilled anxiously, and he wanted to reassure her, but he couldn't speak.
Then the darkness swallowed him again.
Well, shadowborn, said the icy voice.
He turned his face away from it. It only wanted to remind him of his failure, and he didn't need that. He realized that he stood on the edge of a great, sandy mesa, like the ones that were supposed to be in the Jadenite desert. The colors were vivid, intense; fiery reds and yellows and oranges. The sun was setting. He could see all the way into it, to the house where the God was supposed to live. It was even more vivid than the rocks, if possible, with pinks and reds and even purples flaming bright. A wind blew, hot and dusty. He looked down to the desert floor, and saw dragons gathering, their hues nearly overpowering the desert's colors.
The dragons are gathering, said a voice beside him, a voice too calm and composed. He looked, and saw the black haired lady, dressed in a robe that made her look like a red and living flame.
Lady, he said, you are burning.
Yes, she said, calmly, I am.
Why do you not go to the ocean, or the rivers, or the snow? He saw, without seeing, that the dragons were circling a human female, who was made of gold and flame.
If I went to the ocean, said the lady, it would dry, and if I went to the rivers, they would boil.
And of the snows, lady?
I do not know, she replied, and burnt away, leaving a small heap of ashes in her place.
The darkness came again.
Than again, her face haggard with worry. "Wake up," she said, sharply. "Damn you, Kieran, wake up!"
He tried to obey, but the darkness wouldn't let him go.
More images.
The harper-prince, screaming, "Riiiii-naaaaa!" as the lady, dressed in white, fell from a cliff. He watched as the lady became a swan and flew.
Fenyas, prowling a grove where a stone stood, long and wide like a bier. It was covered by white silk embroidered with protective runes and symbols, and he looked at what lay on it, knowing what he would find. The lady, dressed in jade and lapis lazuli, lay with her arms crossed over her breast, as if she were dead. He could see her chest rising and falling, and he knew that she was merely asleep. The harper-prince, again, kneeling as if in prayer, his head pillowed against her side. He, too, slept. And above them, the black ravens...
---
He opened his eyes again. Aria lay on his chest, and Than held his hand. He felt their warmth flow into his body.
"Din-dt die?" he slurred.
"No," said Than, "You didn't."
"Ssorry," he said, even though the effort cost him too much energy.
"Sorry, what?"
"Ssorry I - dindt die..."
Aria hissed. Her claws dug sharply into his chest. Than's hand tightened roughly on his. "Don't say that," she said. "Don't say that."
"True," he insisted. "Should've died. Halfling. Shadowbourn. Should have died for you."
"That's not true," she said, and he felt her vital force flowing through him, warming his cold blood. She looked like a flame, fierce and beautiful, and warm, so warm.
"Beau-ful," he said, slurring again. "Like a flame." He closed his eyes again, and then forced them open. It was hard, but there was something he had to say. "Than?"
"Yes?"
"Love you," he mumbled, "Love Aria, too. And my mother. But - specially you."
Than was silent for so long he looked toward her, alarmed. Her face was wet with tears. For him? Nobody cried for him. On his chest, Aria trilled and oozed her way up. She butted his chin anxiously, and purred.
"Than?" he said. The darkness was coming again, and he selfishly wanted to hear Than's response.
"I love you too," said Than.
Kieran tried to smile. Then he pulled their entwined hands to his face, and rested his head against them.
"Worsh ways to die," he mumbled.
"If you die," said Than, coldly, "I am going to murder you."
Which typically Thannish remark almost gave him the strength to laugh before the darkness swallowed him again.
---
Than closed the door softly and snurfled. She hated being emotional, she really did. She stared at the floor - mosiac roses on a background of black and white squares - and concentrated on not crying. She snuffled again. Her eyes and nose were filling up, and her lips were trembling, but she wasn't going to cry.
A black furred hand appeared in her line of vision, holding out a fine linen handkercheif. Than burst into tears.
"Come nnow," said Valtr, his voice gentle, if growlly, "Thhinngss arrre not ssso bad."
"Easy for you to say," said Than, accepting the handkerchief and blowing her nose violently. It didn't help. She sniffed again, and looked up. Through the haze of tears, Valtr looked like a large, dark mountain with whiskers. And fangs. "He s-said he was sorry he didn't die."
"We musst prray to the Ladiess," said Valtr, "And keep himm warrrm, and ffeed himm well. He will be allrrright."
Than accepted this for what it was worth. Valtr had an unshakable and somewhat feline belief in the power of keeping people warm and fed when sick, or upset, or depressed, or to keep them from becoming sick, depressed or upset. He also firm faith in his Ladies, who were somewhat like the Fates, and somewhat like Bastet, Persephone, and
Kuan-yin, respectively, if those good ladies had a passion for jasmine incense and gooey pastries. Than always got the impression that Valtr thought of them sitting somewhere on a cloud, spinning or drinking tea, and keeping half an eye on the world below to see if the mortals were doing anything interesting.
"Sure," said Than. She scrubbed her eyes with the hankie and then looked at Valtr again. "I think I'll go down to the chapel for a while - he's asleep right now."
"I will ssit withh himm," said Valtr, and smiled at her, a surprisingly sweet smile, considering the fangs. "Do not worrry."
He slipped into the room before Than could reply.
---
The chapel was set in a small courtyard just outside the main house. Instead of being pine and plain stone like the main house, it was marble and carved with stylized roses and vines. The entrance was a trellis of blood red roses. Now that she came to think of it, Valtr had nothing but red roses. Funny. He and Ice Falcon were the only mages she knew that grew roses. Most of them didn't have the patience for it, and if they did, they thought it was more of a Challenge to produce them magically.
Valtr really did have a beautiful garden, but it was quiet. Too quiet, almost. No bees were buzzing, no insects were doing their best to eat the plants alive, no birds were eating the insects eating the plants. It was as perfect and ordered as a graveyard.
She took another careful look around the garden, trying to see something, anything that was alive. A flash of white caught her eye, and she turned to see a young woman dressed in a white gown. It was obviously the dress of a high ranking lady - for one thing, nobody else could afford to be wearing that much extra fabric. The lady glided across the lawn, white hands holding up her pearlesent skirts, and slipped into a small pavilion that Than hadn't noticed before.
Than stared after her, and then decided not to bother. Something was up there, but she would only get Valtr upset by prying. She shook her head and turned toward the chapel again.
The chapel was divided into a small foyer, and the main chapel. The foyer was plain and starkly appointed, as befitted a place of worship. It had hooks for cloaks and shelves for shoes. Valtr had somehow managed to divert a small stream, and it fell from the top of the wall, bounced down several basins, and burbled its way to a low, wide fountain, and thence to a stream bed that passed beside the entrance to the chapel proper, and then disappeared outside again. There was some magical reason for this, but it boiled down to the fact that evil spirits were afraid of living water.
Than took off her shoes then washed her face, hands and feet. She crossed the stream and entered the chapel. It was a quiet place, with small alcoves lining the walls and smelling distinctly of jasmine and fresh air. The main altar was to the Ladies. Their images stood on it. The Kuan-yin one looked gentle and sad, as if she knew a secret and it upset her. The Persephone was regal but had an air of mischief about her, like she was up for an occasional prank or two. The Bastet had a cat's head, and sat curled with easy grace. Her ears were pricked, belying the bored expression on her face. On the altar before them lay wreaths of jasmine, several pieces of hundred-paper pastry and a stick of jasmine incense, half consumed. Than bowed politely and lit another stick of incense for them.
Then she turned to another section of the chapel. Valtr had made it for her when she had just come to this world. She had tried to explain Christian theology to him, but he'd only gotten thoroughly confused. He had, however, made an altar for the Tri-Personed God for her, and was very good about lighting incense everyday. Than hoped God understood. She liked the altar, made of plain light pine with Valtr's idea of a cross - rather Celtic meets Star Trek - and a meditation stone set in the center. The stone was crystal clear but subtly colored with rose and blue tones. In front of the altar was a low kneeling stool covered in white brocade. Than lit a cone of incense and knelt. She folded her hands and stared into the stone.
Than was the last person in the world - either world - to think she saw things when none were there, but it was certainly a fact that whenever she went to this altar and looked into the stone, things had a way of appearing in it. What and why varied, always, but she had come to expect a vision when she came to the chapel. The stone's colors began to shift and swirl, and gradually the stone clouded over.
She saw a man, with hair as black as Kieran's, but with blue eyes, as blue, she thought distantly, as lapis lazuli or sapphire. He looked very tired, and he moved as though he was lame from some old wound or illness. Step, drag, balance, drop. Than remembered seeing someone who had polio moving like that. He wore the enveloping cloak of a High Mage, one who had spent many years learning his magic. He moved painfully to a small, white room, painted with fenyas with bright ribbons tied around their necks. There were four fenyas lying in the room, but they only lifted their heads, with their silver, jeweled collars, and then laid them down again, as if they knew he posed no threat. A nursery, evidently, for the man went to a small crib hung with gauzy drapes, and lifted the child within it. A little girl, with the same hair and eyes.
He held her to his chest, and rocked her. The little girl smiled and clutched at her father's cloak. The man crooned at her, and she laid her head on his chest.
The vision shifted, and she saw the same man, kneeling beside a low bed - a boy's room this time, painted white with pictures of knights and dragons. He smoothed the hair of the boy in the bed. Than looked at the boy, and realized, with a small shock, that it was Kieran he knelt beside, Kieran at the age of perhaps of five or six.
"You have a little sister," said the man, his voice low and deep. "Ah, little dark one, what will happen to the two of you?" He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again, and looked down at Kieran again. In his eyes was an expression of tenderness and sadness and love, and Than knew that the man didn't want to leave his son, or his daughter. He took a deep breath, and then said, his voice rough, "The time will come, little son, that you will meet her. And the time will also come ..." He trailed off.
Boy-Kieran stirred, and lifted his heavy lashes. "Papa?" he asked sleepily.
"Yes," said the man, "Papa. Sleep, little one. Sleep."
Kieran's eyes fell closed again. The man tucked in the covers again, and rose. "Be you brave and strong," he said. "Be you bright and loving." And he turned, and limped away into a bright light, so bright Than had to close her eyes against it. When she opened them again, she only saw the stone, and the altar, and the tears that had rolled down her cheeks and shone like diamonds against the pine.
Chapter Six
"Ice Falcon," said Than, "What, exactly, do you know about the Blood Rose?"
Ice Falcon looked up. "Than, what are you doing here?"
He gestured to a chair and it moved to behind Than, who sat down with a tired thump. "And where is Kieran?"
"Kieran got sick," she said, leaning her head back. It had been a hard, fast journey. "Or rather, we got attacked by a lupine and he was wounded badly. Fortunately we were in Valtr's territory and he rescued us. Kieran survived, but he won't do anything except stare at the wall and will himself to death. I was in the chapel and I Saw something in the moonstone. I couldn't do anything for Kieran, and something about the Blood Rose is worrying me, so I came here."
"Hm," said Ice Falcon. "What, exactly, did you see?"
"I saw a High Mage in a room decorated with fenyas, and he held a little girl with black hair and blue eyes," said Than, bluntly. There was no good way to put this. "Then I saw the High Mage go into a little boy's room, and I looked, and saw Kieran as a child. I heard the man say that he had a little sister, and wish him brave and strong and loving, and then he tucked in the blankets around Kier and walked into a bright light."
Ice Falcon's jaw was slack, and his eyes were the color of dull steel. "That's impossible," he said flatly. He shook his head, still looking dazed. "It's - absurd. Ridiculous. The College has seen no sign - Creator of All, you can't have shadowbeast blood and hide it."
"Can't you?" said Than. "Might I remind you that female power comes into full force only after first childbirth? And that you've told me yourself that most shadowbeast children are male?" She twisted her hand out so her palm was up and her fingers pointed toward Ice Falcon. "You have no way of knowing."
"Yes, but this is - " Ice Falcon shook his head. "It can't be." He stared into space. "At least, I hope it can't be. Lord and Lady above, if this is true, Saphirine is - " He stopped again.
"Don't tell me," said Than, wearily. "The world as we know it is about to end again, right?"
"You could say that." Ice Falcon got up and strode purposefully toward the door, which suddenly led to a room lined with books. "I need to look something up."
Than got up and followed him.
---
Why had he told her he loved her?
One part of Kieran's mind said that she had cried and told him she loved him too.
Another part said, she had just got attacked by a lupine and you tried to rescue her, moron. It's nerves and gratitude.
Still, she had told him that if he died, she'd murder him.
She'd say that to anybody.
But she had said it to him.
He wasn't worthy of her.
The first part of his mind couldn't argue with that. He remembered the subtle whispers and induendoes, the mocking of the other, true elves. Halfling, they called him, Round-Eared, Human-Get. They tripped him up and made remarks about always being able to see him in a crowd because of his hair.
Why hadn't he died? He deserved to die.
---
Ice Falcon was pulling books from shelves as fast as he could. The library was painted white and had excellent indirect lighting to make up for the fact that no direct sun was allowed in, for fear of damaging the books. Than picked up one of the books and looked at it. For a moment the lettering was unfamiliar, and then she felt the singing in her eyes that meant her Gift was picking up the language. YE HISTORYE OF YE REIGNS OF YE HIGHE PRINCESES OF JADEN, it read, Beinge a True and Faithefull accounte of ye deedes and Grate Dooings of ye Rulers of ye Lande of Jaden, Ye Js'drea. Her Gift was still getting used to the script when she opened it and looked at a random page.
Nowe, on thys daye it camme to passe, that fomeone from ye Highprincefs's Houfehold betrayed Her, and Ceridwyn, called the Brave, was forced to flee for her life, and betook herself to the mountains. There she wandered for many months, until she was delievered of a girl child, called, Ariana, the Lovely. With the birthing of Ariana, Ceridwyn's powers came into full being, and she bound up her child, and placed her on her back, and went once more to Lywyn, the Marble City. And she fought the Usurper, and won, but before the Wicked Person died, he said unto her, I will Remember This, Unto the days of your Farthest Daughter. And she replied unto him, And I and my Daughters as Well. So died the Usurper.
Curious, she flipped to the end of the book, and read,
And it came to pass that Cadence, called the Proud, took as her lover a High Mage, whom nobody had ever seen or known. And by him she conceived and bare a daughter, Saphirine, so named for her eyes, which even as a child were as blue as the sapphire stones found in the mountains. After the birth of Saphirine, Cadence's lover disappeared, and she took in return another, who watched her daughter grow in power and beauty, and desired her.
"This is current," said Than, surprised.
"It's about six months behind," said Ice Falcon, bringing another load of books. "Sometimes it lags more, sometimes it lags less. What's the last sentence?"
"'And Cadence's lover, by guile made her promise her daughter Saphirine to him, in spite of the Law, and her daughter Saphirine cried out, with a loud voice, I shall Not! The Fenyas roared in reply, and power crackled around Saphirine, who disappeared amid lightening.'" Than read. "What law is that?"
"The High Princesses are supposed to choose their own mates," explained Ice Falcon, stacking books neatly. "Look under Hana."
Than did. "Isn't being mauled by fenyas while in bed with one's mistress a trifle, um, harsh?"
"He beat her so her child died unborn," said Ice Falcon, his voice hard and cold. "I would have done worse."
Somehow, Than didn't doubt it.
"The High Princesses have had a lot of trouble, haven't they?" she said, thoughtfully. "Ceridwyn had to flee for her life, and Hana was abused -"
"And Thimina had her hands cut off, and had to make herself silver ones, and Renath was put under an ironspell, and her husband had to travel seven years to break it. Yes. It's often that way with the great mage-families. Something about so much power draws misfortune." Ice Falcon paused, and his eyes focused on something else. "At times," he said slowly, "It's as if they bring it on themselves. There's an old story told by harpers, about a girl with a wild talent, who let her stepmother and sisters abuse her, and sat by the ashes. They say it was because she had no way to get training, and her gift was so strong she had to learn to discipline it somehow, or die. So she let herself become a slave."
"That sounds like Cinderella," said Than.
Ice Falcon blinked. "Does it? Perhaps it is, then." He shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "At any rate, it's understandable that they've had so much trouble. Pain is - an effective way of taming power."
"It can't be good, though," said Than.
"No, not good," he agreed. "But very, very effective. Too effective, almost." He paused. "As the Js'drea have learned." He shrugged. "Anyway. I wonder where Runt is?"
"Runt?" said Than.
As if on cue, there was a thump from the top balcony, and a patter of feet. Someone mirred, and Than jumped as a cat landed on the table. It was huge, and looked bigger because of it's long, silky fur. It was a classic tuxedo with spotless white shirtfront and gloves and spats, and a long, magnificently plumy tail.
"That cat is no runt," said Than. Runt banged her chin affectionately with his head and she staggered back. "Good Lord, he must be at least forty pounds."
"Fifty, actually," said Ice Falcon. "He got named Runt because he's either a very large littlecat, or the runt of a fenya litter, and no one's been able to tell which." He scratched Runt's head, and Runt commenced a deep, room-shaking purr. "He's our librarian."
---
[Scene from Kieran's POV? Ooh! What if Kieran runs off?]
---
Several hours later Ice Falcon emerged from the pile of books that he had buried himself in. "I think I found something," he announced.
Than looked up from the book of portraits she was studying. The Js'drea all seemed to be beautiful women - and if they weren't, quite, they had a glamour about them that made them appear so. Some of them looked kind and gentle, some looked proud and haughty. Some looked sad, but behind the sadness lurked the steel of known and proven power. Perhaps, Than thought, they were sad because of the power. She shivered, looking at the picture of the current Heiress. She must be very alone.
"What did you find?" she asked.
"A treatise on wild talents," he said. "Namely, female wild talents." He brandished a slim leather-covered volume. "It's rather an obscure topic," he said. "Mostly wild talents are male."
"That doesn't make sense," said Than.
"It does, in a way. Most female talent gets absorbed into the creation of children. So if you have a line of mage-talent, and they generally have female children, any males born into that line will appear to have a wild talent."
Than thought that over. "So that line of females would just - I'm confused. How does the Mage-gift work in with creating children?"
Ice Falcon laid the book down. "Bearing a child is considered a creative act," he said. "And if a woman has mage talent, a great deal of it is poured into the effort of helping the child achieve birth. So, a woman with an average level of mage talent could possibly not realize it - in theory, at least - because she has always been occupied with the bearing and raising of children. She might have a gift for Seeing things, or be able to work minor charms and spells, but she wouldn't appear to be fully gifted until menopause."
"Because her body would no longer be capable of bearing children?" Than tapped her chin thoughtfully. "But if you didn't realize you had a Gift until you were what, at least 40, you wouldn't be able to access it completely, right?"
"Right. At least not consciously. Most women of that variety become wise-women or midwives."
"That doesn't seem quite fair, though," said Than, feeling she had to uphold her feminist upbringing. "Not knowing you had a gift because your body was using it for childbearing."
"Yes, but many more women have the potential for great mage-talent than men, and that only applies to women of average talent. The female Great Talents are nothing to mess with." He picked up the book again. "Anyway. Generally what will happen with wild talents is that a female line will suddenly produce a male - and it's said that the female Gifted can chose the sex of their children, by the way - and nobody can figure out why this non - or - mildly magical family has produced a mage."
"I don't see what this has to do with the High Princesses," said Than.
"Saphirine has too much Talent," Ice Falcon said bluntly. "Even considering that her father might have had shadowbeast blood. She's in danger of being overwhelmed by her own - Ahh, gods!" he cried. He crumpled to the ground and rolled into a ball, his hands covering his head.
"Are you all right?" Than dropped down beside him.
"Too much," he gasped. "Go away! Can't handle -" His face twisted violently. "Peace! Only go - "
Than was aware of a humming sensation, like bad electricity, but Ice Falcon looked like he'd been hit by lightening. She spread her hands out and imagined a shield around Ice Falcon, and he relaxed, but not enough.
"Go," he said, "Please. Hurting me..."
Than heard it, a mental scream of sorrow and helplessness. It intensified and she closed her eyes against it. It was gone in the next instant. Just as suddenly, the shrill hum of power disappeared, and Ice Falcon was, mercifully, unconscious.
Than got up slowly, and found a pillow to put under Ice Falcon's head.
Runt meowed, and she turned to look at him. She felt slow, mired in quicksand. He was nudging a book open, and she went to him and looked at the page revealed.
"'Power-sickness'," she read aloud, forcing the words through the thickness, "'caused by too much power or lack of control of it. Can also be induced. In bystanders, can cause extreme headaches and shield breakdowns. Leads to illness, disorientation, madness, uncontrolled shape-shifting, and finally, disintegration of selfhood, ending in death. May be controlled by use of stones, but the only cure is finding an adequate Ground. Survival rate: one in one hundred billion.'" She looked up into Runt's gold-grey eyes. "Poor princess," she said, slurring. "She's going to die."
Chapter Seven
Than never remembered how long she stayed awake, grimly poring over book after book, writing pages of notes on the Js'drea, powersickness and shadowbeasts. It was like cramming for a test, but a test that meant the world, literally. She had to remember all this. No time for exhaustion now, but she knew that later she was going to collapse. It couldn't be helped. She just had to remember.
When she finally lifted her blurring eyes from her notes, she saw Ice Falcon had woke up and was sitting on the floor, watching her. He looked very old. Than realized, suddenly, that she had known him for two hundred years, as they reckoned time here. She wondered how many years had passed on Terra, and what would have changed if she went back. Too much, probably. She had never wanted to go back.
"Do you feel better?" She tried to get up, but the world swam blackly and she had to sit down again.
"Not really." He pushed himself up to his hands and knees and then weaved to his feet. Than knew he had to be feeling bad to be that clumsy. Generally Ice Falcon moved like the cats he spent so much time with. He took a step forward and stopped, very delicately. "Creator of all, I feel as if I was ground for flour. How are you?"
"Not so bad." She rubbed her temples. "I wasn't affected so much, but I tried to shield you. It helped that I'm not from this world, I think."
Ice Falcon tried to nod wisely, and stumbled. He managed to correct himself enough to stagger to a nearby chair and collapse in a more-or-less sitting position. "I wish Una were here," he said dismally.
"Una?" repeated Than.
"She hasn't been here for the longest time." Than realized that he wasn't so much talking to her as he was thinking aloud. "Not for years and years," he said. "And years. Used to pop in all the time and tell me I was moldering away. Needed an adventure, she said. Then she'd drag me out and we'd go out and save a kingdom or find a legendary jewel or something. I miss her."
It dawned on Than that he was still reacting to the surge. Shock, she thought. Endorphins. Pain wossnames were racing through his body. He was definitely shivering; she could see him shuddering from where she sat.
"Runt," she said, "You'd better sit on Ice Falcon."
Runt did. Ice Falcon buried his hands in Runt's fur, and said, "Maybe she's dead. Always too reckless for her own good. Dead. Lying in a ditch or a canyon somewhere, or frozen on top of a mountain. No one to light her pyre or build her cairn." His brow furrowed. "I'd know if she was dead. Wouldn't I? Ought to go see." He tried to get up and seemed to notice Runt for the first time. "Drat you, cat," he said mildly, "Get off me. Have to go see if Una's all right."
Runt hunched into a leaden ball. Ice Falcon lifted puzzled eyes to Than.
"How'd he get on my lap?"
"He jumped," Than said.
"Oh." Ice Falcon pondered this. "But I have to find Una. She's a demigoddess, you know. Father was a god of something. Used to tease her about it, ask if she had a temple somewhere. She took me there once. Very uncomfortable life, being a demigoddess. Everyone wants you to heal them or fight for them or forgive them or something. No wonder she went on adventures."
"I'm sure," said Than. "Ice Falcon, you're in shock. You need to rest."
"Shock? Why? Oh. Saphirine didn't mean to. Sorry for it." He laid his head against the high back of the chair. "Just a little rest," he mumbled. "Then I'll go find Una." His head lolled to the side and in the next instant he was sound asleep.
Than looked down at her notes. She needed to work more on them, but her eyelids were leaden, and closing without her conscious will. Her head was as heavy as marble, and she put it down on the table. She would just close her eyes for one minute...
---
One part of Kieran's mind observed that he was quite delirious. The rest of his mind was too busy watching the pretty purple fenyas dancing on the walls in between getting in his clothing and preparing to climb out the window to care, or to do anything if he did. He had to get out. Something to do with Than, and something to do with the girl with black hair, who was going to burn up or freeze or something if she didn't get help.
Aria did not approve. She sat on the bed with her ears back and her tail lashing, but she couldn't, or wouldn't, stop him. He gave her his best and most cajoling smile, and said, "Don't fuss, Aria. I'll be fine."
Aria's face showed patent disbelief. If she had movable eyebrows, they would have been somewhere around the ceiling. The small rational part of his mind observed she had a point. "You can come, if you like," he offered, feeling very generous.
Aria hrffed. Kieran had never quite heard her make that particular noise before, but he recognized it as the feline equivalent of when Than looked him up and down, raised one eyebrow, smiled in a mysterious and pitying way and then turned away while saying, just loud enough for him to hear, "Males." She always managed to say it in a tone that managed to convey his deep and utter lack of something. He wasn't quite sure what, of course, but something. It must be some sort of female thing.
Still, Aria got up, deliberately washed a paw and then fluttered to his side, looking martyred. Kieran opened the window and looked down. It was only five feet, into a freshly worked flower-bed. Aria hopped to the ledge and fluttered down again, clearly thinking that if they were going to be going, they ought to do so as quickly as possible. Kieran jumped down, and they snuck out. Or rather, Kieran snuck, Aria padded beside him making pointed comments with her tail.
Valtr watched them go, and then turned and went into the chapel to light an extra cone or so of incense under all the altars. They would need all the help they could get.
Chapter Eight
"WHAT?" Than hopped up and down several times in sheer frustration.
"I amm ssorrry, Thann, but I did not feel lead to ssstop them." Valtr's voice was calm, but his eyes were wary, and his hands were buried in his robe.
"Son-of-a-stupid-half-bazonka'd-little-copper-based-moron!" said Than. "Fever-ridden asinine rodent eaten mothball of a dingbat male! Little knothead of a half-brained mule! Dammit, he's still sick!"
"Really, Than," said Ice Falcon, mildly, "there's no sense in hopping up and down and swearing, is there?"
"Yes, there is," said Than. "It's making me feel better, dammit, and I don't have time to cry."
Since Ice Falcon had a horror of female tears almost as great as Valtr's (for different reasons), he conceded the point. Very reluctantly. Than took a deep breath, counted to ten, counted to ten in H'aiian, counted to ten in Qwert, and then counted to twenty in Japanese, which was always the hardest. Then she looked at Valtr again. He looked back at her with steady gold-grey eyes, and she sighed. "I don't like this," she said, running her hand through her hair.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall - framed in rosewood, etched with roses around the side - and made a face. Her hair was wild and getting worse from her hand dragging through it, her face was dirty and there were smudges of purple under her eyes and her clothes looked like they'd just spent the last several hours on someone alternately crashing through heavy forest and holding onto someone hopping large distances. Than hated hopping. It wasn't so much the distance covered, as it was the nasty rushing feeling, and it had been worse than usual because Ice Falcon had claimed he was perfectly fine. Than had held her tongue because she knew what that set to Ice Falcon's mouth meant, but the hopping had been especially nightmarish.
And now Kieran had run off to God knew where and she had, in one very small portion of herself that she had hidden carefully away from the rest of her, been hoping to see him smiling and recovered and be able to curl up beside him and sleep. It was only now that he was gone and she couldn't do it that she admitted it to herself.
"Well, hell," she said finally. "Do you have any idea where he went?"
"The forrresst," said Valtr. He played with the cuffs of his robe, and then went to the side of the room and picked up a small silver chime-ball. He rolled it in his hands, and then turned to face Than again.
Than looked into Valtr's grey-gold eyes, staring hard. Valtr looked away first, and Than felt a little guilty. "We've got to do something," she said.
"Yes, but what?" said Ice Falcon. "We don't know where the prince went, we think the heiress of Jaden is in trouble, we know she's got a case of powersickness, and that the Bloodrose has something to do with it all. Other than that, we've got a great big bloody pile of nothing." He let out a breath in a short, fustrated huff.
"It isss not immpossible," said Valtr, quickly. "Notthing iss imposssible. We will figurre it out ssomehow."
"Yes?" said Ice Falcon. "With three clues and a suggestion?" He glared at Valtr. "What do you suggest? Find a magic book that says, Oh, to cure the Heiress and save the world, just give her this root at the dark of the moon while singing a children's song that just happens to be a powerful spell forgotten by magi? Or have some sort of mystical experience wherein all the secrets of the universe are revealed, and it turns out the universes are contained in a blade of lavender grass? Hmm?"
"For a mage," said Valtr, very precisely, "You seem to have a great contempt for the complexities of the circle of Life."
It's like one of those logic puzzles, thought Than, that her grandmother used to do, the advanced type where they gave you three clues and the form, and it wasn't what they told you that counted, but what they didn't. Or the pictures where you had to step back and squint and then let your eyes go half out of focus to make it change from an abstract paisley thing to a flower or a lion.
The trouble was, of course, that she had always been very bad at both. She needed to think. She needed to lay things out and sort them until she saw the pattern. She stared without seeing at the floor, white and red roses intertwined. If I were a mage, she thought, a powerful one, what would I fear?
"Yes?" said Ice Falcon. "What do you know about magic forces?"
"Morrre thannn you do," snapped Valtr.
Than rubbed her head. Her head was hurting. "Guys," she said.
Valtr made a odd, low chuffing noise, a challenge. Ice Falcon laughed.
"Guys."
"I'd like to see you - " Ice Falcon began.
"GUYS!!"
They looked at her. Than went dizzy for a tiny second and then steadied herself. The headache was worse, a dull throb behind her thoughts, which were icy clear and sharp. "I don't want to hear another word out of either of you," she said. "You're acting like territorial three-year-olds. Now shut up and let me think."
The two males exchanged glances - very male glances, that said, she's gone batty, what's this female doing telling us to shut up? We're not acting like three year olds. She needs to lie down.
Than's headache got worse.
"Thhan," Valtr began, soothingly. Than turned and looked at him, and one part of her mind observed, interestedly, that somehow her lip had lifted and she was showing her teeth at Valtr. He took a step back but didn't look down, and Than growled, very softly. Valtr looked down and away.
Than felt suddenly ashamed of herself. It wasn't his fault that Kieran had left, after all, and here she was taking it out on him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."
Than rubbed her head again. It was so hard to think and she had to. "I'm going to the chapel," she said, and left.
--
No visions came to her in the chapel, though she stared into the milky white stone until her eyes grew dry. Finally she rose and walked quietly back to the main house. She glanced over to the little pavilion and caught a glimpse of the lady in white, looking at her. She turned and stared, and they looked at each other for a while. Then the other glanced up at a window, smiled slightly and made Than a deep and graceful curtsey, and glided off. Than shook her head. It certainly wasn't her business, but she did wonder what Valtr was getting himself into. He was supposed to be a shapeshifter, but he had been in the in-between state for so long Than doubted he could fully change into either form, and it was bound to be affecting him physically, at least. Mentally, too. He was much more jumpy now than he was when she had first met him, and now there was this spirit in his house. Than wasn't an expert on such things, but she guessed she knew her fairy tales enough to have an idea of what was going to happen next.
But maybe not. The lady looked very grave and gentle and sweet, but she also had a look about her that suggested that if something did happen, Valtr would acquire a whole new understanding of the term 'on his toes', and possibly that of 'wrapped around a little finger', as well. Than grinned. That would be something to see.
She turned again to the house and went in, walking slowly to the room Kieran had been in. She sat down on the bed and looked around. Everything was almost the same, still full of his presence. A faint bit of his scent lingered on the pillow, spicy and faintly sweet. She was really gone. Than wanted to laugh at herself, sitting here worrying over someone she had known, what, four or five weeks now, though it seemed so much longer, but found that her throat was too tight to do it. She flung herself down on the bed and buried her head in the pillow, which smelt more strongly of Kieran, and gave herself up to waves of depression.
She felt the bed sink, and a hand placed itself delicately on her back, the more delicately for being more of a paw with only semi-retractable claws. The other side of the bed sank, too, and another hand joined the first.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you two," she said through the pillow.
"It isss all rrright," said Valtr, gently.
"No," said Than, "It isn't." She sat up and looked from one slightly anxious and guilty face to another, and sighed. "I need to go and find him," she said.
"How?" asked Ice Falcon. He looked at her and then said, quickly, "and I am not scything in this area, either. It's too dark."
"I didn't ask you to, did I?" said Than. "No. It wouldn't work anyway."
Ice Falcon looked offended. "Are you saying I couldn't?" he demanded.
"No," she said, "I'm saying it would be useless. He took the Blood Rose."
Ice Falcon said something under his breath. It wasn't a word people used in normal conversation.
---
[wanderings in forest]
Kieran was following the light of an inner beacon through the forest. He knew, in one part of his mind, that he was sick and burning with fever, but the rest of him didn't care. A voice in his mind said, let it burn that it might sear away... he tried to pay attention to it and it promptly faded. It was strange, this fever, a burning without pain, searing without heat. He realised that it seemed to be coming from his pocket, and he reached in it and pulled out the Blood Rose.
It was flaming with a fire barely contained within the bounds of the crystal, an inner fire that leaped and rolled and boiled as if it was a living thing, trapped. Kieran held it in his hands and stared at it. The fire changed into something more controlled and infinitely more dangerous. He wasn't frightened, though the jewel in his hands was glowing like a thousand suns and he felt the heat from it going into his skin and flaming the bones of his hand almost unbearably. The heat raced down his skeleton and insinuated itself in the delicate pathways of his nerves, rushed through his veins and turned his blood to lava, and then filled his heart and his mind in a blinding explosion of diamond light. Kieran flung his head back and cried out, words he had never heard, but knew from the deepest part of his being.
Somewhere inside he heard a voice say, quietly, And so it is begun.
He, Kieran, pulled away from his body and watched as it was raised and buffeted by waves of ruby light. His body was still calling out hoarse unknown words, and slowly, slowly, the waves calmed and began to order themselves in a quickening spiral. Kieran watched them carefully as they filled his body and did things to it. His clothing bleached and then darkened to the color of the ruby in his hands, and then he went back to his body in a rush. The color of the Bloodrose filled his mind-
And then it was over.
Kieran fell to the ground and took deep, labouring breaths until the heat dissipated. He looked up, and the Blood Rose fell down beside him. He picked it up, carefully. The colors were less intense, but he knew that there was still much power in it. But there was no danger of this unbecoming happening to him again. That was over. It was a tool for him now, not a living being. Kieran had come into his own.
There was an anxious mirr from beside him, and he looked down at Aria, whose fur was bushed up so she looked the size of two Arias, and whose ears still laid flat against her skull. "It's all right. Aria," he said, distantly surprised that he could still speak, "Come here, girl."
Aria crept closer, and Kieran laid his hand gently on her smooth fur. Something sparked, and Aria hissed. Kieran snatched his hand away. "I'm sorry, Aria! I didn't mean to - " He stopped. The Blood Rose was glowing again, and around Aria's neck a red light was swirling. There was a soft, bright glow, and Aria wore a collar that bore a more than suspicious resemblence to a liquid ruby. Aria sat up, squinted down at it, looked up at him, squinted down again, and then visibly preened. Kieran rolled his eyes. "Females," he said.
Aria purred.
Chapter Nine
"Than!"
That sounded like Kieran. But it couldn't be. Kieran was somewhere in the forest, lost and probably dying, and she was at Valtr's [place] still. It was an illusion, made of her wish to see him again and the few hours of sleep she had wrestled. Than turned over and stared at the window.
"Than, damn it! Come to the window!" the voice hissed. "It's me, Kieran."
"I'm dreaming," she said aloud.
"No, you're not," said the impossible, familiar voice. "Would you please come to the window?"
"Why should I?"
There was an audible grinding of teeth outside. "Because I'm asking politely?"
"It's probably a trap," said Than, cheering up. "If I go to the window there'll be a demon or a anim or something and it will make me let it in so it has an invitation to the house and we'll all die horribly."
There was a pause. Finally, the voice said, "Than?"
"Yes?"
"You are my true and destined mate, and I love you more than life itself, but you are really paranoid, did you know that?"
"Kieran," said Than, "Go to a foreign world, and live there for five hundred years as a wanderer and fighter, and then call me paranoid."
"Point taken. Now will you please come to the window?"
"Why can't you come in? You've been invited once already."
The moonlight streamed gently through the window. Kieran was silent for a moment, and then said, "Put it this way. It would be discourteous."
And that's where it ends, but I think there was an epic battle and probably mind melds and I DON'T KNOW, I WAS NINETEEN ;^;