HanaKimi - Female Biology
Meh. Not really happy with this one, mostly because it's more of an image than an actual fic. But an amusing image, which I felt others needed to be traumatized by.
And what should I do next? o_oa That's where the image ends, and it needs to be much, much more horrifying filled with Sano-abuse funny than I'm coming up with. >_<;;
FEMALE BIOLOGY
HanaKimi belongs to lots of people who ARE NOT me.
--
The only thing Izumi knew about girls and their periods was that the uterus was supposed to be about the size of a closed fist, girls bled and complained and cried a lot, and there were often embarassing ads on TV that talked about 'freshness' and 'protection' with no mention of the actual product involved, and occasionally odd demonstrations of 'absorbency' with blue fluid. The blue fluid always confused him, because weren't the unnamed products supposed to be soaking up, well, blood? And what was with all the soft unfocused lights and fields of flowers and blowing curtains?
When Ashiya became his roommate, however, it became less a matter of academic interest and quizzes in biology, and more of a pressing concern.
After the first month, Izumi went to the library, slunk past the librarians and toward the card catalog, looked up 'female reproductive system, period, menses, menstruation' and fled toward the 613 section.
He spent two hours going though the books, flipping though everything from So You're Becoming A Woman Now and thick, scholarly tomes on the myriad ways the female body could turn on itself (cysts? In your ABDOMEN?), staring in queasy fascination at cross-sections of human mammary glands and diagrams of how to insert a tampon (they put them WHERE? Oh, God, he was never going to be able to look Ashiya in the face, ever again), reading about what to do about blood clots (he was forced to put the book that described in graphic, almost loving detail, someone's week and a half of agony down before he grabbed the nearest female and apologized for being a male) and cramps and what if you started your period without expecting it (find a school nurse, find a friend, find a vending machine, improvise with toilet paper or hand towels -- all of which filled Izumi with equal horror), methods of 'sanitary protection' (surely they were joking about ... no. He couldn't even think about it), and more.
He learned about ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, uterine cancer, breast cancer, stretch marks, bloating and migraines. He discovered three different methods of getting blood out from clothes. He learned that some women apparently were ashamed of it, and some women took it as a way to scream at the males of the universe that they were better than them. He learned about estrogen and progestrone, he learned about using heat packs and ice packs and why girls craved chocolate.
He did not, however, learn a good way to ask one's roommate if his cramps were bad, and did he want Sano to do something for him.
And what should I do next? o_oa That's where the image ends, and it needs to be much, much more horrifying filled with Sano-abuse funny than I'm coming up with. >_<;;
FEMALE BIOLOGY
HanaKimi belongs to lots of people who ARE NOT me.
--
The only thing Izumi knew about girls and their periods was that the uterus was supposed to be about the size of a closed fist, girls bled and complained and cried a lot, and there were often embarassing ads on TV that talked about 'freshness' and 'protection' with no mention of the actual product involved, and occasionally odd demonstrations of 'absorbency' with blue fluid. The blue fluid always confused him, because weren't the unnamed products supposed to be soaking up, well, blood? And what was with all the soft unfocused lights and fields of flowers and blowing curtains?
When Ashiya became his roommate, however, it became less a matter of academic interest and quizzes in biology, and more of a pressing concern.
After the first month, Izumi went to the library, slunk past the librarians and toward the card catalog, looked up 'female reproductive system, period, menses, menstruation' and fled toward the 613 section.
He spent two hours going though the books, flipping though everything from So You're Becoming A Woman Now and thick, scholarly tomes on the myriad ways the female body could turn on itself (cysts? In your ABDOMEN?), staring in queasy fascination at cross-sections of human mammary glands and diagrams of how to insert a tampon (they put them WHERE? Oh, God, he was never going to be able to look Ashiya in the face, ever again), reading about what to do about blood clots (he was forced to put the book that described in graphic, almost loving detail, someone's week and a half of agony down before he grabbed the nearest female and apologized for being a male) and cramps and what if you started your period without expecting it (find a school nurse, find a friend, find a vending machine, improvise with toilet paper or hand towels -- all of which filled Izumi with equal horror), methods of 'sanitary protection' (surely they were joking about ... no. He couldn't even think about it), and more.
He learned about ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, uterine cancer, breast cancer, stretch marks, bloating and migraines. He discovered three different methods of getting blood out from clothes. He learned that some women apparently were ashamed of it, and some women took it as a way to scream at the males of the universe that they were better than them. He learned about estrogen and progestrone, he learned about using heat packs and ice packs and why girls craved chocolate.
He did not, however, learn a good way to ask one's roommate if his cramps were bad, and did he want Sano to do something for him.