5 Years
Yesterday was difficult. I tried not to relive the horror of 5 years ago. I remembered watching the WTC collapse on TV and trying to describe what was happening to a friend on the phone. I couldn't articulate my feelings then and I can't now. What I felt when I watched those towers implode was indescribable.
My friend Mark was in the north tower. I knew that he would be there somewhere even though he was technically off on a previous LODI. All of FDNY was repping their yard that day, and for a long time to come. They still do and always will. They rock beyond words.
I want to remember our last conversation about his pissyiness over being banished from his daughter's birthday party because "Ewwwww, no boys allowed, Dad!" I laughed at him. He was so emotional and tiring and sentimental and loving and fun. He was human. He was my brother and my friend. I miss him. When he said "tupperware" it was "tubbawaeuh", and three was "tree". He scorned me for an "ignorant fucking redneck" and didn't speak to me for 3 weeks when I admitted that I wasn't really up on the history of St. Patrick. Then he called me and asked for a recipe for "authentic southern cornbread" to go with the spaghetti dinner he was cooking for his family. Cursed me again when I questioned his menu choices and accused me of only knowing how to make grits and sweet tea and "big ole biskits". And asked if my sprained ankle was healing ok and if my son had won his baseball game. He sat back and laughed like hell when I dumped a beer on a loud mouthed fan who shoved me at Yankee stadium. Laughed even harder when I kicked him in the knee for laughing. He yelled at me for smoking. I wish he could know that I am not smoking now.
I wish he could know how often I dream about him. I hope he believed me when I told him that I could never forget him. Big nut, brown hair, we had no way of knowing. You were gone too soon.
My friend Mark was in the north tower. I knew that he would be there somewhere even though he was technically off on a previous LODI. All of FDNY was repping their yard that day, and for a long time to come. They still do and always will. They rock beyond words.
I want to remember our last conversation about his pissyiness over being banished from his daughter's birthday party because "Ewwwww, no boys allowed, Dad!" I laughed at him. He was so emotional and tiring and sentimental and loving and fun. He was human. He was my brother and my friend. I miss him. When he said "tupperware" it was "tubbawaeuh", and three was "tree". He scorned me for an "ignorant fucking redneck" and didn't speak to me for 3 weeks when I admitted that I wasn't really up on the history of St. Patrick. Then he called me and asked for a recipe for "authentic southern cornbread" to go with the spaghetti dinner he was cooking for his family. Cursed me again when I questioned his menu choices and accused me of only knowing how to make grits and sweet tea and "big ole biskits". And asked if my sprained ankle was healing ok and if my son had won his baseball game. He sat back and laughed like hell when I dumped a beer on a loud mouthed fan who shoved me at Yankee stadium. Laughed even harder when I kicked him in the knee for laughing. He yelled at me for smoking. I wish he could know that I am not smoking now.
I wish he could know how often I dream about him. I hope he believed me when I told him that I could never forget him. Big nut, brown hair, we had no way of knowing. You were gone too soon.