Feb 21, 2007 22:38
A little over half of the school year has gone by so far...I'm just beginning to find everything more and more meaningless. I'm finding myself wanting things to just be done and over with. Maybe this is what you call "Senioritis"?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to discontinue all my work...I'll still do everything to the best of my ability, but I'm just getting increasingly more impatient with everything that's going on. I just want the end-of-the-year stuff to come now, and the summer can arrive, and then college can be just right around the corner. Instead of February vacation, let it be April vacation.
In general, I'm not finding any substance in life. I feel like there's nothing to hold on to...like there's nothing worth going after right now. I just have to wait another while for something to happen. Everything's just kind of "idle."
When all of this is over, I'll be sad. I know I'll be even though I've been wanting for all of this to end. I'll miss how things used to be and everything I have experienced, but there's so much more to look forward to. At the same time...I'm scared to death for what is to come. It's life coming right at me, and I'd like to duck, but I can't.
I need my own campanion.
Somebody to call my own.
But this person doesn't exist.
And it hurts to be alone.
Wow, that was almost a poem. Unintentional, I promise.
I've realized that I can only depend on myself to make things better because in the long run, I'm always going to be there for me.