quotidian lifestylez.: laws0ntrib3

laws0ntrib3

quotidian lifestylez.

Feb 18, 2006 03:54

WRITTEN LAAAST WEEK & then SOME:

Wallace and Gromit is coming out on DVD. Nearly said video there - get with the ages, Alexis. Anyway. I watched it on the flight from Ontario California to my own personal nightmare: Atlanta International. I hate that airport more than I do Dulles, LAX, LaGuardia or fucking JFK. Jesus this, Moses that, Abraham hit me with a wiffleball bat (Proceeds to make the squeaky record sound.) AHHHHHh, yes that had nothing to do with what I was going to say but it is in fact my favorite line in Little Nicky.

Back to that movie. I have kids as we all know and it is okay to see such movies as Finding Nemo or Toy Story 2 over and over again. Even repeated episodes of Spongebob or the Fairly Odd Parents. But not this fucking movie, man. It’s hellish to think about really, after purchasing two-dollar headphones to watch it and keep my mind off sitting between two very large people. Instead I am tortured with clay over-sized rabbits and townsmen obsessed with their vegetable gardens. I could see that this is a good message to children but not when you just get out of rehab man. I mean, really, they might as well just had played Alice in Wonderland.

Right now I am being tortured by Ava. Lovin’ it.

~ ~ ~

Sub specie aeternitatis

Yeah, I need that solace today.

&

Acceptance

Just having enough energy to detach from the world. Feeling it’s spent the same with or without you. Isolation is an unconscious action - at first. Then you feel bound, exhausted with your own thoughts on it’s deteriorating state, let alone open to hear the suggestions of others or notice an approaching, helpful hand. Empathy varies like blood; some idealization thinner than others. You yearn for substance, peace of mind, constructive thinking, not always pity. We addicts do not handle sympathy well enough to regard it normally. We live the life of a humbled human being. But please, pity us not.

I feel worn with what seem like Trojan thoughts: concepts and fears that are unwelcome within this mind. This is my place to dwell - my own personal hell - why inhabit here? But alas there they are, eating away.

Sanitized sanity or not quite insane. Never let your guard down. This is the stability of … me. Today.

&

What happens when you define yourself or your life by your attachments? Burden. Suffering. Inevitable separation. Who needs this? Right? But fuck it, these are the indispensable ingredients to life. To live it fully, really. So Buddha’s logic to release oneself from attachment is bullshit. To me. Today.

Here’s to not being partially alive.

Virtually Yours,
Alexis

PS2Raven: Being grateful is a fucking awesome feeling. I'm glad to see you happy.