[Double-shot] Crazy Feelings
Title: Crazy Feelings
Author: DLavenie
Pairing: Park Yoochun & Shim Changmin
Length: Double shot (2/2)
Genre: Should be Romance and slight angst
Rating: PG-13 (Some kissing involved -_-“)
Summary: Yoochun is a post-graduate student who takes Music course. So one day, he failed his test. Little did he know, it was going to be the start of his miserable life, perhaps?
:::…+++..:::
It was early in the morning, so early that Yoohwan even raised his brows when he caught an image of his brother walking down the stairs. To be true, his brother is not a morning person. So, when Yoochun appeared in front of his, walking so funny, Yoohwan could not help but wondered. What the heck is happen?
Ignoring Yoohwan at all, Yoochun grabbed his brother’s milk and drank it at once. Still the taste of the milk that he just drank didn’t relieve the bitter taste he had. So pathetic. He winced in pain as he sat down on a chair, just in front of Yoohwan. When he lifted his face, he met his brother’s puzzle face.
“What?” Yoochun murmured, took the pancake that he supposed his mother made it before she went out with his aunty.
Yoohwan shook his head before pointed to the empty glass which all the content of it had been gulped down by Yoochun. “That’s mine.”
“So?” Yoochun rolled his eyes, “It’s not like I haven’t drink yours before.”
“Actually hyung,” Yoohwan cleared his throat before placed both his elbows on the table, “You never did that.”
“Ekh?”
Yoohwan nodded his head, “Well, you said it’s not good to drink from other’s glass.” He stopped, staring so intensely at his brother who started to look quite uncomfortable, not only that it seemed like his brother was in pain. “Are you okay, hyung?”
“Huh?” Yoochun blinked his eyes before smiled uneasily, “Of course, I am. Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because hyung, you seem not. Not only you drink my milk but you also woke up early today. And then, you walked so funny just now. Care to tell me?”
Of course there was something wrong even though Yoochun shook his head. His brother shook his head at an instant after he asked the question. But what is it?
“Good morning.” A sudden greet coming from in front of Yoohwan and behind Yoochun made two brothers to lift their face. Luckily to Yoochun, Yoohwan missed the look on his face when the voice entered his eardrum.
“Morning Changmin.” Yoohwan smiled at his cousin who now took his seat besides Yoochun. “How do you feel today?”
“Great.” Changmin gave him a thumb-up. He took one of the pancakes and stuffed it into his mouth. “Where is aunty?”
“Aah… mom… she is already out with your mother,” told Yoohwan, glancing at his watch, “Opps, I’ve to go. See you later Changmin and you too hyung.” Yoohwan waved his hand as he brought his legs to the front door, leaving behind his unstable brother and cousin.
It was hot.
That was what Yoochun felt as soon as Yoohwan disappeared from his sight. It was just a matter of time when suddenly his heart was beating with unusual speed. Damn it!
“You smell good this morning.”
Yoochun stood up at a sudden when he felt a hot breath besides his ears. “W-what?” Shit! He stuttered again. Yoochun smacked his head mentally.
Changmin smirked when he saw how clumsy Yoochun was when he was around. This is fun. He chuckled as Yoochun almost tripped when the latter wanted to walk in the opposite direction. It seemed Yoochun didn’t have to be asked to make him laugh. No matter what Yoochun did, it amused Changmin the way he were.
Changmin frowned when he noticed Yoochun didn’t intend to sit at his original place, instead he grabbed his back which he put on the couch and walked straight to the front door.
“Hey!” Changmin yelled as he stood up and ran towards Yoochun, accidentally grabbed the latter’s wrist hard. “Where are you going?!” He unintentionally raised his voice.
Yoochun looked at him with surprised. “I-I’ve class,” answered Yoochun simple before he pulled his wrist from Changmin’s firm grip. “I’m going.”
Changmin sighed. What the hell just possessed his mind? “U-uh.” He nodded his head, watching Yoochun’s back as the latter walked and then yelled once again. “I’ll fetch you up later.”
“What?” Yoochun turned his body, surprised. “What did you say?”
“I said I’ll fetch you up later.” It was a slot motion but brought a mixed feelings to Yoochun who began to shiver without any reason, “So, you just wait there. Don’t go anywhere,” whispered Changmin and purposely licked his cousin’s earlobe.
“W-what?” At his reflex, Yoochun pushed Changmin away from him. “What are you doing?!” Clearly, Yoochun was already at his limit. His breath was not constant. “Don’t treat me like I’m a doll or something, I’m your cousin!”
Changmin smirked. Didn’t bother about the fact that the guy in front of him was angry, he walked again towards Yoochun. This time he trapped Yoochun between his body and the wall like what he did outside the club.
“You don’t care about that last night.”
Yoochun gulped. Last night? Yoochun pushed Changmin again. “Don’t make fun of me!”
“I’m not, that’s the truth, wasn’t it?” Changmin winked his eyes. “As far as I remember, you only told me to go fast and more.”
Yoochun shuddered at that thought. He hated the truth. A red-pink shade appeared on his cheeks. He should go now, he knew he should. But then his thought was immediately cut when a pair of lips landed on his own.
Although it was not the first time, it still like the first time Changmin kissed him that night. Sweet.
“Like I said… you love it too,” whispered Changmin huskily as he broke the kiss and stared at his daze cousin. “Wait for me later.” Changmin gave a wink before he turned his body and walked towards the direction of the stairs.
Yoochun bit his lips hard. What has just happened?
:::…+++..:::
Yoochun sighed tiredly. He was thinking about his life. His life was still the same, nothing had changed much. Although he had to repeat his study, he was happy because he was given a chance not like some of his friends. So, he can be called a lucky guy. Indeed Jaejoong also volunteered to help him in studying. What else did he want?
However not all worked as what he wanted it to be. Just like now. He didn’t expect to meet a guy named Shim Changmin who happened to be his cousin. And he also didn’t expect he would sleep with him. Not once, not two but more than that.
With that thought in his mind, Yoochun smacked his head mentally. Why did he do such a sinful thing?
He recalled back the first day Changmin came to his house. They were having dinner together for the first time. Mrs. Shim talked a lot. It was the first thing that Yoochun can say about his aunty. When his eyes met Changmin, who he tried to avoid whenever they met, his heart was beating faster. He saw a mischievous glint in that man’s eyes. He knew what he tried to convey but he ignored it. However, he made sure they would have a long, serious negotiation after this.
So when he excused himself to the room after the dinner, leaving his mother and brother with the Shim family, he started to plot a plan on how to make their negotiation success. He couldn’t let his family or Changmin’s family to find out about their little one night stand. The effect was so unbearable to him.
He heard the sound of people walking. Following his instinct, Yoochun took a peek on the door. His heart was jumping with happiness when he saw Changmin. Perhaps, this was the time for him to carry out his plan. With a speed of light, he pulled Changmin into his room, making the latter to yelp in surprise. He immediately put his hand over Changmin’s mouth to prevent any scream (If Changmin intended to do so, which obviously the latter wouldn’t do that. Only Yoochun had such thought)
“You promise you won’t scream.” Yoochun said naively. Changmin’s personality which the latter showed last night didn’t register in his mind. If that thought did come into his mind, perhaps, he wouldn’t widen his eyes in surprised when their position was changed in such a short time.
Changmin smirked. Before leaning closer towards Yoochun, “I think you got that wrong. I never scream.”
Yoochun gulped his saliva. How can he forget about that? Yoochun moved his body backwards, creating some spaces between him and a guy called his cousin.
Hesitantly, Yoochun uttered, “We have to talk.”
“Talk?” Changmin raised his brows. “About what?”
“Last night.” Yoochun cleared his throat. It was far more difficult than he thought it would be. “Let us pretend that last night was never happened.”
A moment of silence.
“Why do you think I would agree to your suggestion?” Changmin walked leisurely towards Yoochun but somehow to Yoochun, the latter brought his dangerous aura. Unconsciously, Yoochun’s body moved backwards until his leg hit the bed. He stopped.
“B-because we are cousins.”
“Wrong answer.” Changmin pushed Yoochun on the bed easily. He didn’t let the latter to stand up as he put his body over Yoochun’s. “Don’t you remember what I told you last night? I won’t ever let you go.”
“W-what? Are you crazy? I’m a guy AND your cousin! This is so wrong!”
“Will it stop me?” Changmin started to place butterfly kisses over Yoochun’s face, “No.”
Yoochun moaned. “N-no, w-we can’t do this.” Yoochun stopped Changmin from kissing him. He shook his head and stared into Changmin’s eyes. “W-we have to stop.”
Tenderly, Changmin pushed Yoochun’s strands of hairs which covered part of his face to the side. Slowly, he placed a chaste kiss on the latter’s pouty lips.
“No one have to know. It’s just between us. I promise”
Yoochun didn’t know what Changmin did to him but he gave in. He gave in to his lust, to Changmin’s lust. Whenever Changmin came to him, he couldn’t refuse. It was already one month. They did those sinful things for one month just to fulfill their need. He knew it was so wrong but why when they did that he forgot all those kind of things.
I’m going crazy. Yoochun banged his head on the table. So crazy.
“Earth to Yoochun!”
Yoochun immediately shot his head up. His eyes didn’t blink his eyes when Yunho’s giggling face appeared on his retina.
“What?”
“You look funny.” Yunho sat besides Yoochun, “And plus you look not okay.”
“What do you mean?”
Yunho shrugged his shoulders. “How can I say? You look like you’re in love.”
“In love?” Yoochun widened his eyes before he laughed with all his heart. “That was the funny thing I heard from you, thanks for making my day.”
“What? It is true.” Yunho protested.
Yoochun put his hand over his mouth, tried to control his laugh. “I’m so sorry Yunho, but I’m not in love with anyone, or have a crush towards anybody.”
“Are you sure you not in love with anyone, Yoochun?” Yunho narrowed his eyes, “Hundred percent sure?”
Yoochun nodded his head. “Positive.” He grinned. “Why did you think like that at the first place?”
“Well because… you always spaced out. Whenever we talked, your thought was not here with us. So, I think you’re thinking of someone else instead.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m in love, idiot!”
“Hey, don’t call me idiot!” Yunho pouted, “It’s just that I experienced that kind of thing before I coupled with Jaejoong.”
Yoochun stuck out his tongue. “Different person, different things.”
“Yeah right. But it could be true, you know. Perhaps, you haven't realized it yet.” Yunho gave his friend a wink. “Do you want to go to Jaejoong’s house today?”
Yoochun shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Why?” Yoochun rarely refused when he invited him to go to his boy friend’s house.
“My cousin wants to take me out.”
“Your cousin?” Yunho made a thinking face, “I don’t know you have a cousin.”
“Well then, you know it now.”
"Who is your cousin?"
Yoochun groaned. He hated to remember that one person. "Changmin. His name is Shim Changmin."
"Changmin..." Yunho, somehow, had heard that name from someone else. "Ah!" His eyes lighted up, "I know him."
"You know him?"
Yunho nodded his head happily, "Don't you remember him? He was that guy who helped us 4 years ago! The guy who helped you from a pervert."
Yoochun widened his eyes as those memories started to come out from his locked memory box. "THAT'S HIM?!"
:::…+++..:::
Changmin stared at the sleeping form in his arms. He smiled. Everytime they had sex, Yoochun would immediately fall to sleep. Is he really that good? Changmin wondered. But it didn’t mean he dislikes it, indeed he loved it too much. Why? It was simple. It means he had the chance to observe this guy.
Why did he do this to Yoochun at the first place? That was the one question he didn’t know how to answer. He knew it, he knew the answer but he was not sure whether it was really the real reason for it. Would it be other reason other than this? Changmin didn’t know.
Yoochun shifted his position. Perhaps, he dreamed of unpleasant thing. Chuckling, Changmin carefully brought Yoochun closer and wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s body. A position he liked the most. As like it was already programmed that way, Yoochun automatically moved his hand and wrapped it on Changmin’s waist as his head comfortably rested under Changmin’s chin.
It was an addiction.
That was Changmin’s first thought about his feelings towards Yoochun. Yoochun might not aware about it but he was like a drug. A drug that Changmin couldn’t stop from taking it.
Yes, Yoochun is a drug that Changmin couldn’t live without.
Before he also went into the same Dreamland as Yoochun, Changmin kissed the latter’s forehead.
:::…+++..:::
Yoochun didn’t know what to do. He was so confused. He was afraid. This unknown relationship between him and Changmin had to be stop at once. No more secret affair or whatsoever. It had to be stopped. If it continued, these weird feelings that started to build would go to eat him up. He not sure since when he started to have this feeling. Was it two months ago or earlier than that? He didn’t know. But he noticed, he always craving for the presence of his cousin who was two years older than him.
It shouldn’t be continued. It had to be stopped. Yoochun chanted those sentences over and over again in his mind.
He walked back and forth, nervously. Unconsciously he bit his nail as he looked from his watch to the surrounding. Where is Changmin? I already told him to meet at 2. But his watch showed the time was already 3. One hour late from the time they promised to meet. Yoochun groaned.
Just before Yoochun wanted to fish out his cell phone, Changmin started to appear on his sight. Running from only Changmin knew where it was.
“You late.” Yoochun’s first sentence when Changmin standing in front of him, panting.
“I’m sorry, I’ve patient to be handle,” answered Changmin exhaustedly. Although he was tired, he still managed to give Yoochun his genuine smile ever.
And what Yoochun didn’t expect to come was a kiss on his forehead. He stared at Changmin dumbfounded.
“Am I forgiven?” Changmin smiled sheepishly.
Yoochun turned his head away, embarrassed. Why Changmin did that? It just made it more difficult. Lately Changmin always made him thinking that he was something to him. Not just a sex partner but more than that. He knew they were cousins, but still… Changmin didn’t make him felt they were cousins. What a trivial truth. Yoochun sighed.
“Are you okay?” Changmin asked worriedly. His face sure showed all his feelings at that time.
“I-I’m okay.” Yoochun turned his head back again, facing Changmin now. “I-I want to talk to you.”
“Yes, I’m listening.”
Yoochun took a very deep breath. He must be strong. “It has to end.”
Silence.
“What?” Changmin’s confused voice broke the tranquility of the silence that they had, “What do you mean by ‘it has to end’? What had to end?”
“This.” Yoochun stated. “Our affair, it has to stop. This will never go anywhere. We’re cousins and that is what we always be, Changmin. After all I’m just your sex partner to fulfill your desire. It has to stop, Changmin.”
“So what if we are cousins? We still can do this! We’ve been doing this for 6 months. Nobody questioned us. We’re okay.”
“But I don’t want!” Yoochun gave a retort in his high voice, made Changmin to look at him. He put his head down. “I don’t want this anymore. It makes me look like a whore.”
Changmin clutched his fist. He was angry, sure he was. “You’re not a whore, Yoochun.”
“Yes, I am! I give you my body whenever you want. I hate myself for liking the feelings when you’re inside me! I hate myself for always waiting for you to come to me. I hate it, Changmin. It hurts so much!” Tears escaped so freely from Yoochun’s tears duct.
Changmin walked towards Yoochun slowly before he wrapped his arms around the latter’s body. He hugged the shorted guy tightly, like he was afraid to let him go.
“Please Changmin.” Yoochun whispered softly. “Please stop this game.”
Changmin gritted his teeth. For the first time, he hated himself. He didn’t know their so-dark-relationship would give such thought to Yoochun.
“I’m sorry Yoochun.” Changmin stopped before he tightened the hug, “I don’t know it would hurt you so much. I forgot about that. I thought what I did is a good thing for both of us.” A sigh escaped.
It took a moment for Changmin before he had courage to say those words that he had thought over and over again.
“But I don’t think I can let you go.”
Yoochun’s body stiffened at the instant.
“I’m afraid I’m falling for you.”
:::…+++..:::
A/N: How does it go? *wink* It's up to you to decide the ending *stuck out tongue* I'm so evil! *get whacked*