Unconditional Love 13
Title: Unconditional Love
Pairing: YunJae/JaeHo
Genre: AU, Romance, fluff and possibly slight angst
Author: DLavenie
Length: Chaptered (13/13)
Summary: Popular Yunho, mute Jaejoong - they come from two completely different worlds. What will happen when they collide? Will there be any chemistry between them? Or will they just act like strangers to each other?
Disclaimer: This whole plot and the characters in the story do not belong to me.
Thanks to: Callie for the poster, uverjaeho for the story plot, starry1 for beta-reading chapter 4 and konnistique for beta-reading the rest. Love you guys!
Unconditional Love 13
Everything had changed. Yunho clearly noticed it. Ever since the night when he sang and dedicated the song to Jaejoong, Jaejoong seemed to avoid him. It was very obvious, but he had no clue what was wrong with Jaejoong. A sigh which escaped from Yunho grabbed Heechul’s attention who, at the moment, was too busy texting his boyfriend.
“What’s wrong?” Heechul sat up immediately from his position lying down, a look of concern evident on his feminine face.
“Jaejoong.”
“Jaejoong?” Heechul furrowed his brows, not quite catching what Yunho was trying to say. “What happened to Jaejoong?”
Yunho turned his head. He was sure Heechul could see the misery he felt through his expression. “He’s avoiding me.”
“Avoiding you? Are you sure?”
Yunho nodded, tiredly. “Of course I am. Whenever I text him, he doesn’t reply. Whenever I ask him to meet up, he’ll come up with excuses. Am I just over-reacting or is he really avoiding me, I don’t know.” Yunho sighed again.
Heechul was confused. Jaejoong was really doing that to Yunho? As far as he knew, Jaejoong wasn’t that kind of person. There must be something seriously bothering Jaejoong that’s making him avoid Yunho. But the question was ‘what?’ He couldn’t figure it out. Just this morning, Jaejoong had greeted him like he usually did. He wasn’t acting weird as how Yunho had described him to be.
“Don’t worry Yunho, perhaps he just has something that he doesn’t want us to know.” Heechul smiled, trying to comfort his best friend. And then something struck him as peculiar, “Did you, by any chance, manage to tell him your feelings?”
Yunho shook his head, “He went home straight after my performance, even though I had told him to wait for me.”
Perhaps, that was the reason. Heechul concluded the problem in his mind. “Yunho…” When Yunho looked at him, Heechul continued, “I think I know why Jaejoong did that.”
“Huh?”
“I think Jaejoong got the message.”
:::…:::
Sungsoo was feeling quite perplexed. Jaejoong had never been like this. Even when Jaejoong found out he had lost the ability to speak, he still showed his cheerful smile which, in turn, could always lighten up anyone’s day. However it wasn’t like this anymore. Sungsoo had realized it since that night… the night when Yunho took Jaejoong out for an event, so Sungsoo had been told, an event which the members of the Music and Dance club had organized together.
He turned his head again, looking directly towards the closed door where he knew Jaejoong was hiding behind. He didn’t know what his brother was doing in there. Although, if you were to ask him, he’d say he rarely talked to Jaejoong nowadays. Well, not ‘talk’ as in talking with voices but rather, using sign language.
There was something seriously wrong with Jaejoong but he didn’t know what it was. At this point, he felt pretty useless. What kind of brother was he? Sungsoo heaved a heavy, deep sigh.
Ring Ring.
Sungsoo lifted himself up off the couch and walked towards where their phone was located just outside the kitchen on a glass table next to a vase full of purple daisies.
“Hello?” Sungsoo smiled when he heard the familiar voice on the other end of the line, “Yes Yunho, what’s up?”
A frown appeared on Sungsoo’s face. One would think Yunho had told him something extremely tragic.
“Jaejoong? Yes, he’s here, why? …he didn’t reply to any of your messages?” Sungsoo recited every word Yunho said. That was weird. Why would Jaejoong do something like that. “I’ll talk to him about it later. What? No, no. He’s fine. Don’t worry. Okay. See you later.” Sungsoo then placed the receiver back to its original place.
A very unsatisfied look appeared on Sungsoo’s face. What the heck was wrong with Jaejoong?
:::…:::
Jaejoong stared at his cell phone with sadness reflecting in his eyes. He brought his knees up against his chest and hugged them tightly, as if he was afraid and in dire need of solace. His eyes never once left all the messages he had received from Yunho during the past few days.
Jaejoong, are you okay? Why won’t you reply to my messages? - Yunho
Jaejoong, where are you? - Yunho
Jaejoong, please text me when you receive this message, okay? - Yunho
Are you angry at me? I’m sorry - Yunho
And those were only just some of the messages he hadn’t deleted and were still sitting in his inbox. Without him realizing, a tear trailed down his cheek. Why is this happening to him? Jaejoong wiped his tears off his cheeks furiously. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t want this to happen.
Yunho…
Jaejoong bit his lips hard, trying to suppress a cry. He admitted he missed Yunho. How long has he been avoiding that man? He released a deep sigh. He had an urge to approach Yunho and apologize to him, but something held him back- his newfound feelings for Yunho, his friend.
He retraced his memory back to that night, the night where Yunho sang that song - the English version of ‘Hug’. He knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way but he couldn’t help himself. The moment Yunho said ‘I love you’ to him, literally made him weak in the knees.
He thought the fluttering feeling he felt towards Yunho was normal, but now he knew his thought was wrong. It wasn’t like that at all. He hadn’t realized it then. He hadn’t realized he had fallen for Yunho. He had absolutely no idea when this weird, yet special, feeling had started to develop inside his heart.
It is a sin. I cannot love him.
To Jaejoong, that was what he felt about the feelings he had towards Yunho. Why? It was simple. People might think Jaejoong was a confident person because he never gives up. But that was just what people thought of him. They didn’t know the true Jaejoong.
The true Jaejoong was someone who always had insecurities regarding his disability. He never showed it to his family, to his friends, to anyone. He just kept it all to himself. He knew he was a burden to everyone around him, and when he had accidentally voiced out this thought to his brother, his brother became so angry, he never dared voice it again. However, that didn’t mean the insecurities disappeared. He still felt himself to be someone unworthy of love.
But he was sailing close to thin ice here, because he had already fallen hard for Yunho.
What should he do now?
:::…:::
Confidently, Sungsoo knocked on the door of Jaejoong’s room twice before turning the knob. His eyes immediately caught the image of a miserable-looking Jaejoong sitting on the floor, looking very lost. A twinge of pain pierced Sungsoo’s heart. Jaejoong looked broken and helpless, and as his brother, he hasn’t done anything to help his younger brother. He felt so useless.
“Jaejoong…” Sungsoo walked towards Jaejoong before sitting himself beside his brother and patted Jaejoong’s back. “Are you okay?”
Jaejoong nodded and gave a tiny bitter smile.
“What happened to you, Jaejoong?” Sungsoo looked at Jaejoong, concerned. He brushed back the silky black strands that fell over Jaejoong’s eyes. “You’re not acting like yourself.”
Jaejoong put his head down. He didn’t know whether he should tell his brother or not. Knowing his brother, Sungsoo would encourage him to be with Yunho. He knew him too well.
“It’s about Yunho, right?” Sungsoo noticed how his brother stiffened at the mention of Yunho’s name, a guy who he considered to be his own brother now. “He called just now.”
Jaejoong turned to face him, waiting for Sungsoo to continue.
“He told me you’re avoiding him, and you haven’t been replying to his messages anymore. What happened, Jaejoong?” Sungsoo sighed.
Jaejoong stayed still. He didn’t have the courage to tell Sungsoo anything.
“He also told me…” Sungsoo paused and turned his body, now facing Jaejoong. Somehow this made Jaejoong nervous. “He told me he loves you.”
And that was it. Just from the straightforward and blunt way Sungsoo gave that piece of information, it made Jaejoong numb all over. Frozen. He was shocked. Yunho loves me? So, it’s true. Yunho loves me…
If it wasn’t because of the disability he had, perhaps he would be jumping up and down in happiness right now. But since that wasn’t the case, Jaejoong tried not to choke. He hated this. Why did this have to happen to him?
“Do you love him too, Jaejoong?”
Reluctantly, Jaejoong shook his head. I don’t love him.
“Are you sure about that?” Sungsoo narrowed his eyes, sending a cool shiver down Jaejoong’s spine. Why did Jaejoong have to lie? Sungsoo mentally asked himself. He knew Jaejoong. Although his brother hasn’t told him personally, he knew Jaejoong loves Yunho as much as Yunho loves Jaejoong. They should be together. Because it was only Yunho; only Yunho could fill up the emptiness inside Jaejoong’s heart.
“He loves you for who you are, Jaejoong. Don’t even think for once that you will be a burden to him, because you won’t. You’re not a burden, not to him, not to me, not to anyone. You’re special in your own way, Jaejoong. Sure, you can’t talk, so what? Did Yunho care about that?” Sungsoo stopped, looking for a reaction from Jaejoong. But Jaejoong was Jaejoong; he has long mastered the art of hiding his true emotions. “No, he didn’t, because he truly loves you. If he really cared about that, then he wouldn’t be doing all of this, Jaejoong.”
When he saw Jaejoong’s body trembling, a sign that he’s crying, Sungsoo sighed. He took this as a cue for him to leave. He picked up Jaejoong’s cell phone, which was lying on the floor, and noticed that there was one new message. He opened it and smiled a little.
“This is for you,” Sungsoo handed the phone back to his brother and stared at Jaejoong for a moment. “For once Jaejoong, just follow your heart. For once, don’t think about your disability. For once, I hope you’ll fight for your own feelings.” Sungsoo whispered before walking out of the room, leaving Jaejoong alone with his mixed feelings.
My heart?
Jaejoong sobbed. Can he do it? Disregarding his insecurities for the moment, Jaejoong reached his hand out and took his phone before reading the contents of the message.
What should he do now?
Jaejoong bit his lips again- a habit when he was being indecisive.
Meet me at the park near your house. I’ll be waiting for you. - Yunho.
:::…:::
Yunho scanned his surroundings, looking for any sight of Jaejoong. He let out a disappointed sigh. Jaejoong wasn’t here yet. Even though he felt disappointed, he still managed to try his best to smile. Jaejoong will come.
Yunho strolled along the park. Once in a while, he would rub his palms together. It was very cold. Where is Jaejoong? Feeling his legs cramp up due to the cold, Yunho took a seat on one of the benches while continuing to wait for Jaejoong’s arrival. He checked his watch. 2 hours and still no sign of Jaejoong.
He was about to send Jaejoong another message when he heard footsteps behind him. Is that Jaejoong? Yunho spun his body around. He had guessed correctly. Jaejoong was standing in front of him with his head down.
A smile plastered itself on Yunho’s face- a very relieved one. So I still have a chance.
“I’m sorry for asking you to come out at this time,” Yunho gestured for Jaejoong to take a seat on the same bench, to which Jaejoong obeyed and sat down beside him.
There was a moment of awkward silence between them before Yunho cleared his throat. I must do it.
“Err… J-Jaejoong?” Yunho cursed himself for stuttering like this. “Are you angry at me?”
Jaejoong turned to face him before shaking his head, a bit weakly.
“Then why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”
Jaejoong shook his head again.
Yunho sighed before he changed positions. From his seated position on the bench, he now knelt in front of Jaejoong, making Jaejoong stare at him in bewilderment.
“I’m sorry if I had hurt you in any way,” Yunho started. “But did you know, it hurts me when you avoid me.”
Jaejoong bit his lips. He made a hand gesture to show his apology.
Yunho smiled, “It’s okay, and at least you came here to meet me.”
Jaejoong hung his head down again. He felt butterflies in his stomach when he saw Yunho’s smile. Does Yunho have that great an effect on him?
“Jaejoong, actually…” Yunho rubbed his hands, a little uncomfortable as he smiled sheepishly at him. “I want to tell you something.”
Jaejoong knew what Yunho wanted to tell him, so, instead of letting Yunho continue; he raised his hand in front of him, the action silently telling Yunho that he had something to tell him first.
Hyung told me.
Yunho gulped. “He told you …what?”
Jaejoong sighed. ‘That you love me.’
Yunho’s eyes widened, “He did? I mean… he told you that?” When he received a nod from Jaejoong, Yunho flushed in embarrassment. So, Jaejoong already knows. “I… take your time, Jaejoong. I’ll wait for you. You don’t have to give me your answer now.” Although he was eager to know Jaejoong’s answer, Yunho still didn’t think he was emotionally prepared if Jaejoong rejects him.
Jaejoong had to do this. If he delayed this any further, it would make the situation even worse.
I… I can’t return your feelings.
“What? Why?”
I… we don’t match. You… you deserve someone better than me. I’m not the perfect one for you. Jaejoong tried to hold back his tears.
“You are perfect for me!” Yunho emphasized his words, accidentally raising his voice. Irritated and slightly regretful, Yunho threw his hands in the air. “Bullshit! Is this because you’re a mute?”
Jaejoong couldn’t nod even though it was the real reason. His brother had told him to follow his heart but he just couldn’t. He’d rather follow what his mind told him to do. This was best for the both of them. Jaejoong looked up, only to see Yunho’s furious face staring back at him. He had never seen Yunho act like this before.
“I love you Jaejoong, full stop. I don’t care whether you can talk or not because I just want you to be with me. Why does it matter to you? You’re always perfect, Jaejoong. To me, you are already perfect.”
Jaejoong shook his head, and at the same time, tears streamed profusely out from the corners of his eyes.
No, I can’t do it.
“Yes you can, Jaejoong” Yunho stroked Jaejoong’s cheek softly, making the young man in front of him look up at him. The tears hurt Yunho. He hadn’t wanted to make Jaejoong cry. “You only have to open up your heart and let me in. Let us be together. Let me love you, Jaejoong-ah.”
Jaejoong stared at Yunho, trying to comprehend the situation.
Yunho waited. One second, two seconds. His heart was beating much faster now. He was very nervous of Jaejoong’s answer. It was either a nod or a shake. The success of his love depends on that single action. He could feel sweat starting to run down his neck.
And quick as a flash of light, his world became dark once more. The same darkness that had consumed him before Jaejoong entered into his life. He felt bitterness; hurt.
A shake.
Jaejoong’s answer was a shake of the head.
That was it. It was all over now.
Jaejoong didn’t accept him.
:::…:::
Yupz! This is the end of my fic (= Lol! I forget to say this earlier.. but there will an epilogue for this fic which I'll post it on Thurday =D Okay? Oh yeah, this is one fic that I want you all to read *wink* Just a lil bit of JaeHo.... but it's fun to read (= Don't believe me? Just click on it ^^ Hope you will enjoy that fic like I do (8 By the way, it is written by one and only one... \(^O^)/ My beta!!! Konnistique!!!
( Of Cookie Worship and the Art of Dietary Languages )