Brilliant Blood, Beautiful Bones 12/15
Title: Brilliant Blood, Beautiful Bones
Author: lavenderpisha09
Pairings: Ian/Anthony
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Angst
Warning: Depression, Death (of a minor character), and inaccuracies in portraying these themes.
Summary: It’s weird, wanting something you can’t have.
Author's Notes: For thekettletbh who gave me a particularly phenomenal prompt (and for me, since it’s my birthday). I hope you enjoy this fic. This fic was written for Fanfiction Day 2015.
Another important note: I don’t know much about depression, psychology, or software. Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually don’t know much about anything. Everything written here was researched to the best of my ability, but will not be perfect seeing as I have limited knowledge about these topics. Still, I tried. I sincerely apologize for any mistakes I’ve made. Know that it wasn’t my intention to hurt or offend anyone, especially those who are actually suffering from depression. Have I mentioned that I’m not claiming to know everything about mental illnesses in general? Because I really don’t know much about them. I am also not claiming to be qualified enough to be able to write an actual decent story about mental illnesses, I’m sorry.
Last note: I have to thank D, who told me my initial format was shit and helped me clean up the fic’s format, and Kalina, who very helpfully read through my draft and told me what I needed to do with the fic. They’re the absolute best. This is the most challenging fic I’ve had to write yet, and it was an absolute honor (and pleasure) to fill this prompt.
Disclaimer: I do not own Smosh. I do not make money from this.
Part eleven here.
C:\SCRC\SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE\INTERNAL\LOBBY\CAM1\2020.09.01\1201-2400
{UNCLASSIFIED}
{ADMIN=D.SOHINKI}
{13:55:47}
[Padilla enters]
Padilla: Hey, Mel. Is Ian here?
Moat: Anthony? What are you doing here? I was about to call you.
Padilla: So he’s here?
Moat: No. I’m sorry.
Padilla: No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.
Moat: I swear, I was about to call you. You shouldn’t have wasted your time going here, especially since Dr. Hecox still hasn’t returned.
Padilla: No, no, it’s fine. I, uh, I thought you forgot that you were supposed to call me, so I, uhm, yeah. I just wanted to make sure.
Moat: Oh.
Padilla: Yeah. Uhm, so listen, do you know if he’ll be back by next week?
Moat: I don’t. I’m really sorry, Anthony.
Padilla: It’s fine. I, uh, I guess I’ll be back by next week? Unless you-okay. Uhm. This is going to sound really weird, but do you have Ian’s number?
Moat: I can’t, Anthony.
Padilla: Come on, Mel, please? I just want to ask him when he’ll be back.
Moat: Anthony, that’s private information. I can’t give you his number.
Padilla: Melanie, I swear I just want to ask when we’ll be able to resume our sessions.
Moat: [sighs] Anthony, even if I wanted to give you his number-which I don’t, by the way, because doing that sort of thing will get me fired-I literally can’t give you what you want. Dr. Hecox is extremely private. He doesn’t have his personal cell number listed here. The only number he has here is his work phone, and we already know he’s not here.
Padilla: I-okay.
Moat: I’m really sorry.
Padilla: No, no, it’s fine. Totally not your fault. I shouldn’t have asked, anyway. I, uh, I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules anyway.
Moat: It is.
Padilla: Well, uh, I should go. But, uh, hey, can you ask Dr. Sohinki to at least call me or email me or something? Maybe he knows when Ian will be back.
Moat: Okay. I will. He’s busy though, so I doubt he’ll be able to contact you immediately. The study he’s doing? It’s complete. He’s writing his findings. Plus, he’s in New York.
Padilla: Ah, okay. So, uh, I’ll see you next week then.
Moat: I’ll call you. Take care, Anthony.
Padilla: You too, Mel.
-.-.-.-
PRIVATE RECORDS - PROPERTY OF DANIEL SOHINKI, M.D., PSY.D.
PADILLA, A. (C280916)
RECORD LOG #8 (08/24/2020)
Things aren’t improving. While Joseph is here, we’ve yet to gain access to Dr. Hecox’s record logs concerning Anthony. Joseph’s been entering my password again and again to no avail, and after three unsuccessful tries, the software goes absolutely berserk.
Joseph’s had a long day, so we’ll try again tomorrow. I was hoping that he would be able to fix this today so tomorrow Anthony can have his session with Dr. Hecox, but apparently, that’s not going to happen.
I’ll notify Melanie about Dr. Hecox’s absence later.
-.-.-.-
From: Michael Bartlett (michael.bartlett@bartlettclinics.org)
To: Daniel Sohinki (daniel.sohinki@scrc.org)
Subject: RE: Equipment #15
Date: November 4, 2020
Dr. Sohinki,
What do you mean equipment is missing? From the very beginning, we have made it clear that after your experimental study, all equipment rented from different companies using the grant we awarded you should be returned. Frankly, this seems like you have become irresponsible with your study now that you have published your paper. Need I remind you that being a scientist requires you to be responsible for your entire research study?
Send our regards to Harkinson Industries. Please be notified that you will need to pay out of pocket for any and all fees resulting from the loss of equipment-especially the loss of equipment Harkinson Industries had so generously lent you.
Michael F. Bartlett, M.D.
President
Research and Development Division
Bartlett International Clinics
-.-.-.-
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
Blog Post #13
The session was cancelled again.
I’m worried, because what if this is Ian’s way of telling me that the way I acted around him was creepy? What if this is his way of telling me that he knows what I feel for him, that it’s not requited (like I had hoped), and that I should just go the fuck away and mind my own business?
I have to think that’s not what he’s doing. We’re friends, right? Friends let friends down easy. Then again, friends don’t let friends fall for friends who might not be attracted to guys either, so.
On the other hand, I’m also worried for him. What happened that he suddenly needed to go on vacation? What was so important that he couldn’t have told even Melanie why he was going to be gone for a few weeks?
While he’s been gone, I’ve been slowly trying to reinsert myself into things. I try to go to the office every weekday, but sometimes, when it gets particularly difficult, I just get out and drive back home. I know it’s not something everyone can do whenever they feel closed in like I do, and I know that my ability to do basically whatever I want seems both irresponsible and bratty, but it’s just been so hard. I know that’s not an excuse, much less an understandable explanation, but it’s just the way I feel.
The new cast that the bosses hired are nice enough, I guess. Even though they’re nice people, they’re part of the reason why most days I can’t stay in that building for too long. Seeing them act and do all the things Ryan and I used to do is like having an alarm clock that I can’t ever seem to put on snooze. Seeing them there makes it all the more evident to me that Ryan is truly gone, and that people are there to take his place. The world has moved on, as weird as the thought may be to me.
But things are getting better. The panic attacks are occurring less frequently, and I’ve been coping better, at least.
Maybe I should call Ryan’s parents one of these days.
-.-.-.-
Harkinson Industries
T271130 (HECOX.EXE) [VERSION 1.3.4359]
(c) 2020 Harkinson Industries. All rights reserved.
>DATA PATH: C280916
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: d.sohinki
>PASSWORD: ********
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>ERROR [USER UNKNOWN]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>n
>DATA PATH: C280916
>OPEN FOLDER?
>n
>COMMAND: override
>COMMAND [OVERRIDE]?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>
>
>
>COMMAND [OVERRIDE] COMPLETE
>DATA PATH: C280916
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>COMMAND [OPEN FOLDER] COMPLETE
>DATA PATH: RECORDS LOG
>DATA PATH: PERSONAL
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: d.sohinki
>PASSWORD: ********
>ERROR [ACCESS DENIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>n
>DATA PATH: RECORDS LOG
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: d.sohinki
>PASSWORD: ********
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>COMMAND [OPEN FOLDER] COMPLETE
-.-.-.-
PRIVATE RECORDS - PROPERTY OF DANIEL SOHINKI, M.D., PSY.D.
PADILLA, A. (C280916)
RECORD LOG #9 (08/25/2020)
The situation is worse than I thought.
Earlier today, Joseph and I tried overriding Dr. Hecox’s hard drive. Before doing that, though, Joseph tried to access the folder with my username and password in a last attempt to see if it would work. As we had both expected, it did not, and so he proceeded to use his user privileges to force our way into the folder through sheer force.
Instead of finding one folder (Records Log) by itself, however, we found another one named “Personal”. Curious as to what it contained, Joseph tried accessing the folder with my credentials, only to be outright rejected by the drive. Instead of saying [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED] like it used to, the drive said [ACCESS DENIED].
According to Joseph, the difference between the two is that I had some degree of control over the first one, once. The “C280916” folder that we were trying to access rejected my credentials because I had been locked out of it. The “Personal” folder, on the other hand, rejected my credentials because I was never supposed to see its contents. Dr. Hecox created that folder with the intent of blocking me out.
After we first tried to open the “Personal” folder and failed, Joseph and I both decided that we should look at the “Record Logs” folder first, seeing as opening that folder is the entire reason why I asked Joseph to come here. We stopped trying to open the “Personal” folder, saving it for another day.
According to Joseph, Dr. Hecox had somehow found a way to be increasingly protective of his sensitive data. The fact that we had to enter an administrator’s username and password to access his “Record Logs” folder even after Joseph had overridden the drive indicates that Dr. Hecox truly did not want me to see any of his files. It’s a good thing that he hadn’t foreseen that Joseph would arrive here with his coding skills, or else everything would have been locked away by now. Joseph said that with the elegance of the security coding Dr. Hecox had put in place, if Dr. Hecox had known that Joseph would arrive, Dr. Hecox would have double-checked everything and found the backdoor Joseph had left in his hard drive before Harkinson Industries lent us the equipment.
A while ago, while Joseph and I were talking in my office, Melanie had knocked and asked me if there was a mistake regarding Dr. Hecox and Anthony’s session for the day. Even though I had written only yesterday that I needed to inform Melanie that Dr. Hecox wouldn’t be present for the next few days, I had completely forgotten about it.
Anyway, back to the record logs.
Joseph has made a copy of the files and emailed it to me in case Dr. Hecox’s hard drive won’t cooperate with us again. I’ll take a look at them later and see if I can use the information in them to be able to finally complete my research.
We’re so close to the finish line. I just need to get everything in order.
-.-.-.-
C:\SCRC\SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE\INTERNAL\LOBBY\CAM1\2020.09.08\1201-2400
{UNCLASSIFIED}
{ADMIN=D.SOHINKI}
{13:52:36}
Moat: Hey, Anthony.
Padilla: Still nothing?
Moat: [nods] I’m sorry. I called you, but you didn’t respond. I left you voicemail.
Padilla: I-uh, yeah. I must have been driving or something by then.
Moat: I’m really sorry.
Padilla: No, no, it’s fine. It’s not like I live far away.
Moat: Still, I don’t want you to waste your time. It’s why I call.
Padilla: It’s fine. But, uh, you still don’t have any news on Ian?
Moat: No, I’m sorry.
Padilla: Ah. Right. Uhm, so.
Moat: Listen, Anthony, if you still want to go through with your sessions, I’m sure we can get you another therapist.
Padilla: No! [clears throat] Uh, I mean, uh, that’s fine. Uh, thanks for offering, though.
Moat: Okay. If you change your mind, call me, okay? We have open slots practically every other day. Just give me a call at least 24 hours in advance, and I’ll get you to meet with another therapist.
Padilla: Yeah, sure. Uhm, thanks, Mel.
Moat: No problem, Anthony.
-.-.-.-
Harkinson Industries
T271130 (HECOX.EXE) [VERSION 1.3.4359]
(c) 2020 Harkinson Industries. All rights reserved.
>DATA PATH: C280916
>OPEN FOLDER?
>n
>COMMAND: override
>COMMAND [OVERRIDE]?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>COMMAND [OVERRIDE] COMPLETE
>DATA PATH: C280916
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>COMMAND [OPEN FOLDER] COMPLETE
>DATA PATH: RECORDS LOG
>DATA PATH: PERSONAL
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED: CLASSIFIED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>ERROR [USER UNKNOWN]
>COMMAND: override
>COMMAND [OVERRIDE]?
>y
>ERROR [ACCESS RESTRICTED]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>
>
>ERROR [USER UNKNOWN]
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>n
>OPEN FOLDER?
>n
>DATA PATH: PERSONAL
>COMMAND: code
>COMMAND [CODE]?
>y
>ERROR [UNKNOWN]
>
>$auth_pass =’’’’;
>access: (php/T271130/’’’,’,%AjIE2949Mnci0/x23/x57/x27/x96/x75/x05/u=%euIndeop2810n38v2vA4g2S%’)
>
>
>
>
>
>ACCESS GRANTED
>DATA PATH: PERSONAL
>OPEN FOLDER?
>y
>ACCESS AS ADMINISTRATOR?
>y
>USER: j.reed
>PASSWORD: ********
>COMMAND [OPEN FOLDER] COMPLETE
-.-.-.-
PRIVATE RECORDS - PROPERTY OF DANIEL SOHINKI, M.D., PSY.D.
PADILLA, A. (C280916)
RECORD LOG #10 (08/26/2020)
I didn’t think things could get worse, but they did.
It’s evident from the record logs that Dr. Hecox, at some point during his sessions with Anthony, started seeing him in another light that isn’t fitting of a respectable therapist. Reading the latest record log that Dr. Hecox had written, I was struck to find that somewhere along the line, he had started addressing Anthony by his first name-a stark difference from how he addressed Anthony in the last record log I had read before he had blocked me out of his files.
From what I’ve read of the record logs, Dr. Hecox has been mostly professional. His analyses of his sessions with Anthony are extremely insightful and critical. One thing I particularly noted was Dr. Hecox’s ability to backtrack on his chosen therapy techniques-he was skilled enough to know which methods worked, which didn’t, and when it was time for him to stop a certain technique to introduce another one. So yes, Dr. Hecox is an exemplary therapist.
His “Personal” folder, however, tells a different story.
Earlier today, it had taken Joseph a long (and I mean long) time to even boot up Dr. Hecox’s hard drive. Overriding took even longer, during which Joseph and I exchanged worried looks. It took us a long time before we could finally access the Personal folder, and once we had access, Joseph had immediately copied the files and sent them to me. There’s a fear there that tomorrow we won’t be able to access the “C280916” folder at all-a perfectly understandable fear, might I add-so we had copied everything we could, including the drive’s entire code.
To say I was surprised by the things he had written in his “Personal” folder is the understatement of the year.
While his records were definitely professional, his personal writings were not. It was finally these words that finally convinced me of what I think I already knew when I figured out that he was actively blocking me from his files: I cannot use Anthony’s sessions with Dr. Hecox for my experimental study. His sessions with Anthony had become too warped with emotions, and the dual relationship that I was all too willing to ignore is impossible to disregard now. I should have known the moment Dr. Hecox restricted my access to his files.
So two of my worst fears regarding Dr. Hecox happened: he formed a dual relationship with Anthony, and he’s no longer what he used to be.
Joseph doesn’t want to scrap Dr. Hecox, and neither do I, for that matter. Tomorrow, we’ll be shutting down Dr. Hecox and flying to Harkinson Industries’ offices in New York. Joseph says that he had saved Dr. Hecox’s code on a separate server back in New York, so deleting his code and shutting him down will be temporary, not permanent.
Looking back, it’s kind of funny how at the very beginning, I had insisted on making these experimental therapist Artificial Intelligence units seem as human as possible, even going so far as to convince Joseph to program them to have some sort of personality and backstory that could at least be believable, if not as well-developed as a real human’s would be. Little did I know that one of our AI units would slowly wake himself up (in a sense) and try to be as human as the rest of us. I should have suspected something the moment he chose to use a humanistic method to deal with Anthony’s depression instead of a cognitive method like the other units did.
It’s clear from Dr. Hecox’s personal writings that he has started to want things, has started to wish to become something more than he is.
He has outgrown his code.
Part thirteen here.