repeating past endevers
so there it is again. this thing i can't stop.... my mind from thinking and driving me more insane. so i now have to stop all this madness. trying again something that might help, it helped last time it just hurt like hell when i stopped. I can't keep doing these same things over and over again. it's literally driving me mad and defining me as insane. so here i go again, on my own again, going down the only road i've ever known.....seems to me i should remember this, write it down description by description, emotion by emotion, then maybe i will remember not to dream unrealistically. To remember not to get involved. Not to care. I should just remember that i am not the one who gets what she desires. i' m the one who must stand by and watch her dream dissolve and walk away without her AGAIN. there has never been such a thing for me, just little mirages getting my hopes up and chilling my heart to glass. how many times must i suffer this sort of anguish?