A Trip Into Hell
Starting a few weeks ago I have been wanting to try some form of hallucinogen. It just so happens Evan Shifton decided that he was going to trip on shrooms one last time and wanted to give me some as my birthday present. I agreed under one condition: A 100% gurantee that my ex-girlfriend Tati would not be anywhere to be seen because I knew that me even hearing her voice would result in a bad trip. He agreed to make sure that she was elsewhere and told me that throughout the week before I needed to focus on pushing her out of my head.
The plan was in motion, Saturday, Feb. 23, 2008 Me, Evan S, Evan R, Phil, and the other Jeff would all trip on shrooms together. We decided to make tea out of them, easy and less disgusting. Tati would gone and I would be free from worry...right? Wrong. I should have known it was to good to be fucking true.
The first hint that I should have said no was when the party started growing to an uncomfortable size. 5 people locked in a house with no one to disturbing us turned into around 15. I was way to exited to refuse though, when they handed me the cup of tea around 8:45 ish. I drank it wile setting up my n64, I had planned on playing the game Extreme-G (this trippy futuristic motercycle raceing game I used to pay as a kid)all night. I was sober, but everyone else drank the tea before I got mine so they started tripping before I did. They were all sitting around watching the visualizer on evan's comp they hooked up to the tv.
I started feeling high. really really high. I cracked some glowsticks and started raving. I was raving like I was rolling again, but I wasn't nearly as fexable or coordinated. Surprisingly, I was very off-beat. My body seemed to be focused on forcing my raving to be less skillfull and just being crazy. I was in my own little world but everyone else was talking and whatnot, laughing at each other hystarically. It was around that time we discovered some people were outside. We sent Evan S. out to find who it was. I looked out the window....to my horror tati was standing there with a few of her friends. Memories rushed back to me like water busting through a fucked up dam and I tried forget them again.
Evan S. came back asking if she could come in just to watch the daft punk movie. Drugs were blocking my mind from the logical correct answer wich would be hell fucking no. I lied, telling him I didnt care, when truthfully I just felt bad and did'nt want to be a dick. As she, Buddha, Tina, Shima,and Alix entered the house I retreated to the porch where Big Mike, Danny, and Candy were smokeing a ciggerette. My body high was crazy but I wasnt hallucinating yet.I sat down in a chair and talked with them each conversation we had was hilarious. I got up and started raving again. Candy started irritating me, she kept remarking at how I had strayed away from the group for music. She was right. I realized that even though my energy drink sales job had made me social I'm still a loner at heart and how much I truthfully hate people in general. She wouldn't leave me alone and it was driving me nuts so i sat back down with them just to get her to shut up. Then Tati and her friend Alix decided to come outside and join us. I was able to almost forget that she was there for a wile. Soon almost everyone was outside and that combined with Tati being around made me want to get away. I retreated to the living room where it was just Evan R and Jordan. I could handle two people but a large group and my ex was untolerable. I took a seat on the loveseat-couch perpendicular to the couch they were sitting on.
Now I had really started tripping, I was reaching my peak. They put the visualizer on. I seemed to be getting increasingly anti-social. I put a pillow up so that evan and jordan couldnt see my facial expressions because I didnt want them to know how insanely fucked up I was. I didnt want to watch the visualizer because I wanted to look at shit that was normal and see how it changed.I blocked it out and started stairing at the pillow on the couch.when I rubbed my hand over it it seemed to make like a trail in the satin. I realized I was experienceing extreme time alteration when i looked at my phone and started stareing at the wall and thought I was looking at it for 30 mins, looked back at my phone and it had been 3. Then, the background on my phone seemed to start pulseing and i watched that for a wile. I closed my eyes....and found that the visuals were crazy...it was better than a visualizer. I opened them for a split second and when i closed them again i saw in dark red letters MULTI KILL. That was awsome, I thought...I just got a multi kill! oh wait..im not playing Unreal Tourniment am I?
But From then on..everything went down hill...
Everyone, including Tati came from outside to inside. Appearently I was in the seat Phil had claimed and I refused to get out. He tried moving my seat, when he did he knocked over my monster can, spilling it everywhere and then screaming that it was my fault. when I bent down to pick up the can he forced his way in and i fell onto the floor. Getting up, I realized I was stairing directly at Tati. I couldnt stand to be around more than one or two people, much less her. I needed a place to go to get away from everyone. I chose the back room that is only used as a hook-up/ sex room.
I made it. And the entire Tati thing made me fall into extreme depression and at the same time I was out of my fucking mind. I needed something to do to keep my mind off of her. I put in my headphones and started playing Mad Hatter's Back To The Hardcore set. At first I tried Shuffle, but everytime a song even the slightest bit slow or depressing made everything worse.
The lights were the first thing I used to keep my buisy. I became obsessed with turning them on and off, beacuse even when the light was off, I could still see the outline of everything in the room. I stopped, realizing that flashing lights would attract people and i was totally anti-social at this point. I knew I was having a bad trip and didnt want any of them to know because I didnt want to cause drama. then I sat down in the coner. and just started stairing at things. there where 3 marks on the wall, i sarted imagining a face made out of them and it started coming to life. then i started doing the same with shit on the ceiling. Then I started raving wile the light was on and watching my shadow dance like a madman. Throughout all of this I was in extreme deep thought. most of wich was negative & shit I dont feel confortable talking about. I really wanted one of 3 things to happen: For the trip to end, to go home or to go to sleep. I started tweaking out too. I started scratching my self repetitively. I was still peaking and I couldnt stand it any longer.
around that time the other jeff found me curled up in a ball in the corner of the back room. I wasnt happy about it. Now that they knew where i was they would come and try to force me to socialize and i didnt want to that. i wasnt having fun and i just wanted to be left alone. not very long after Phil walked in, i unintentionally scared the shit out of him....he had no idea I was there. He yelled to everyone that he had found me and i got up and went to use the bathroom.
phil had partially killed my trip...thank god, but when i entered the bathroom i closed the door all the way. i had forgotten the door didnt work. i was trapped. if i yelled i would wake up Bob. i started searching through his cabinets looking for some thing i could use to open the door. no luck. i looked at my face in the mirror. my pupils were still huge but they were a bit smaller than before. I was feeling a bit more sober too. i pulled on the handle of the door hard, only suceeding in ripping the handle totally off. then i heard Big Mike outside of the bathroom. I asked him to let me out. he just started makeing fun of me.
I realized that knowing them they would just sit out there and fuck with me so i started looking for an alternative route. i decide i could probably squeeze through the window. as i was opening it Evan S. walked in and let me out.
that was most of my trip. the rest i just spent playing extreme g wile i came down. the game seemed a lot slower so that was cool. i can actually still feel it a little. the erowid web site says you could feel effects to up to 24 hours. I would have had a great time if Tati hadn't shown up. Not sure if I will do that again though. Me haveing a bad trip my first time isnt exactly inspireing. it wasn't like a omg satans trying to kill me trip...it was just like i got really depressed and then thinking about it in the extreme deep though hallucinagens put you in only made it worse and worse.
The plan was in motion, Saturday, Feb. 23, 2008 Me, Evan S, Evan R, Phil, and the other Jeff would all trip on shrooms together. We decided to make tea out of them, easy and less disgusting. Tati would gone and I would be free from worry...right? Wrong. I should have known it was to good to be fucking true.
The first hint that I should have said no was when the party started growing to an uncomfortable size. 5 people locked in a house with no one to disturbing us turned into around 15. I was way to exited to refuse though, when they handed me the cup of tea around 8:45 ish. I drank it wile setting up my n64, I had planned on playing the game Extreme-G (this trippy futuristic motercycle raceing game I used to pay as a kid)all night. I was sober, but everyone else drank the tea before I got mine so they started tripping before I did. They were all sitting around watching the visualizer on evan's comp they hooked up to the tv.
I started feeling high. really really high. I cracked some glowsticks and started raving. I was raving like I was rolling again, but I wasn't nearly as fexable or coordinated. Surprisingly, I was very off-beat. My body seemed to be focused on forcing my raving to be less skillfull and just being crazy. I was in my own little world but everyone else was talking and whatnot, laughing at each other hystarically. It was around that time we discovered some people were outside. We sent Evan S. out to find who it was. I looked out the window....to my horror tati was standing there with a few of her friends. Memories rushed back to me like water busting through a fucked up dam and I tried forget them again.
Evan S. came back asking if she could come in just to watch the daft punk movie. Drugs were blocking my mind from the logical correct answer wich would be hell fucking no. I lied, telling him I didnt care, when truthfully I just felt bad and did'nt want to be a dick. As she, Buddha, Tina, Shima,and Alix entered the house I retreated to the porch where Big Mike, Danny, and Candy were smokeing a ciggerette. My body high was crazy but I wasnt hallucinating yet.I sat down in a chair and talked with them each conversation we had was hilarious. I got up and started raving again. Candy started irritating me, she kept remarking at how I had strayed away from the group for music. She was right. I realized that even though my energy drink sales job had made me social I'm still a loner at heart and how much I truthfully hate people in general. She wouldn't leave me alone and it was driving me nuts so i sat back down with them just to get her to shut up. Then Tati and her friend Alix decided to come outside and join us. I was able to almost forget that she was there for a wile. Soon almost everyone was outside and that combined with Tati being around made me want to get away. I retreated to the living room where it was just Evan R and Jordan. I could handle two people but a large group and my ex was untolerable. I took a seat on the loveseat-couch perpendicular to the couch they were sitting on.
Now I had really started tripping, I was reaching my peak. They put the visualizer on. I seemed to be getting increasingly anti-social. I put a pillow up so that evan and jordan couldnt see my facial expressions because I didnt want them to know how insanely fucked up I was. I didnt want to watch the visualizer because I wanted to look at shit that was normal and see how it changed.I blocked it out and started stairing at the pillow on the couch.when I rubbed my hand over it it seemed to make like a trail in the satin. I realized I was experienceing extreme time alteration when i looked at my phone and started stareing at the wall and thought I was looking at it for 30 mins, looked back at my phone and it had been 3. Then, the background on my phone seemed to start pulseing and i watched that for a wile. I closed my eyes....and found that the visuals were crazy...it was better than a visualizer. I opened them for a split second and when i closed them again i saw in dark red letters MULTI KILL. That was awsome, I thought...I just got a multi kill! oh wait..im not playing Unreal Tourniment am I?
But From then on..everything went down hill...
Everyone, including Tati came from outside to inside. Appearently I was in the seat Phil had claimed and I refused to get out. He tried moving my seat, when he did he knocked over my monster can, spilling it everywhere and then screaming that it was my fault. when I bent down to pick up the can he forced his way in and i fell onto the floor. Getting up, I realized I was stairing directly at Tati. I couldnt stand to be around more than one or two people, much less her. I needed a place to go to get away from everyone. I chose the back room that is only used as a hook-up/ sex room.
I made it. And the entire Tati thing made me fall into extreme depression and at the same time I was out of my fucking mind. I needed something to do to keep my mind off of her. I put in my headphones and started playing Mad Hatter's Back To The Hardcore set. At first I tried Shuffle, but everytime a song even the slightest bit slow or depressing made everything worse.
The lights were the first thing I used to keep my buisy. I became obsessed with turning them on and off, beacuse even when the light was off, I could still see the outline of everything in the room. I stopped, realizing that flashing lights would attract people and i was totally anti-social at this point. I knew I was having a bad trip and didnt want any of them to know because I didnt want to cause drama. then I sat down in the coner. and just started stairing at things. there where 3 marks on the wall, i sarted imagining a face made out of them and it started coming to life. then i started doing the same with shit on the ceiling. Then I started raving wile the light was on and watching my shadow dance like a madman. Throughout all of this I was in extreme deep thought. most of wich was negative & shit I dont feel confortable talking about. I really wanted one of 3 things to happen: For the trip to end, to go home or to go to sleep. I started tweaking out too. I started scratching my self repetitively. I was still peaking and I couldnt stand it any longer.
around that time the other jeff found me curled up in a ball in the corner of the back room. I wasnt happy about it. Now that they knew where i was they would come and try to force me to socialize and i didnt want to that. i wasnt having fun and i just wanted to be left alone. not very long after Phil walked in, i unintentionally scared the shit out of him....he had no idea I was there. He yelled to everyone that he had found me and i got up and went to use the bathroom.
phil had partially killed my trip...thank god, but when i entered the bathroom i closed the door all the way. i had forgotten the door didnt work. i was trapped. if i yelled i would wake up Bob. i started searching through his cabinets looking for some thing i could use to open the door. no luck. i looked at my face in the mirror. my pupils were still huge but they were a bit smaller than before. I was feeling a bit more sober too. i pulled on the handle of the door hard, only suceeding in ripping the handle totally off. then i heard Big Mike outside of the bathroom. I asked him to let me out. he just started makeing fun of me.
I realized that knowing them they would just sit out there and fuck with me so i started looking for an alternative route. i decide i could probably squeeze through the window. as i was opening it Evan S. walked in and let me out.
that was most of my trip. the rest i just spent playing extreme g wile i came down. the game seemed a lot slower so that was cool. i can actually still feel it a little. the erowid web site says you could feel effects to up to 24 hours. I would have had a great time if Tati hadn't shown up. Not sure if I will do that again though. Me haveing a bad trip my first time isnt exactly inspireing. it wasn't like a omg satans trying to kill me trip...it was just like i got really depressed and then thinking about it in the extreme deep though hallucinagens put you in only made it worse and worse.