Who says I can't be free from all of the things that I used to be? Re-write my history...
Last week uncle Fred told mom that he'd been in the hospital with chest pains. Chest pains and my family are no longer on speaking terms and I demand that they leave us alone. Fred has several pulmonary embolisms and has to take a really tough round of blood thinners.
My immediate thought upon hearing all of this was, "Oh GOD! Mom can't handle more stress. How is this going to impact her health?"
Well, she then sent me an email saying she knew I was probably worried that Fred wouldn't pay for my trip to England this summer, but I shouldn't worry because she'd cover it if he didn't. She asked that I send him an email checking in on how he's feeling.
I was thoroughly upset that mom would think I was so selfish. I didn't even THINK about my trip to England this summer when she told me. Granted, I wasn't as concerned about Fred's health as I was about hers, but I definitely wasn't thinking about myself at all. And I told her so, to which she apologized but sort of blew it off.
I didn't make my usual Sunday call to her (which isn't that big a deal because I talk to her every other day practically), so she asked why I was so quiet. I told her I was still a bit hurt that she thought I was so selfish. It's an on-going battle for me to prove to myself and my family that I'm not the same short-tempered loose cannon that I was growing up. I have to live with how I acted and how much it hurt people around me, but I have made miraculous progress, and I'm able to see that more clearly the further along I get.
She sent me this as part of her reply:
"...Sometimes, I can't believe you are the same person you were as a child. You are very thoughtful and considerate of others now and I don't think you were able to be as a child with the demons you were fighting..."
I tell her frequently that she is one of the reasons I've been able to overcome.
My immediate thought upon hearing all of this was, "Oh GOD! Mom can't handle more stress. How is this going to impact her health?"
Well, she then sent me an email saying she knew I was probably worried that Fred wouldn't pay for my trip to England this summer, but I shouldn't worry because she'd cover it if he didn't. She asked that I send him an email checking in on how he's feeling.
I was thoroughly upset that mom would think I was so selfish. I didn't even THINK about my trip to England this summer when she told me. Granted, I wasn't as concerned about Fred's health as I was about hers, but I definitely wasn't thinking about myself at all. And I told her so, to which she apologized but sort of blew it off.
I didn't make my usual Sunday call to her (which isn't that big a deal because I talk to her every other day practically), so she asked why I was so quiet. I told her I was still a bit hurt that she thought I was so selfish. It's an on-going battle for me to prove to myself and my family that I'm not the same short-tempered loose cannon that I was growing up. I have to live with how I acted and how much it hurt people around me, but I have made miraculous progress, and I'm able to see that more clearly the further along I get.
She sent me this as part of her reply:
"...Sometimes, I can't believe you are the same person you were as a child. You are very thoughtful and considerate of others now and I don't think you were able to be as a child with the demons you were fighting..."
I tell her frequently that she is one of the reasons I've been able to overcome.