Хью Лори читает стихи
В 1995 году на радио ВВС2 прошла серия программ Unspeakable Verse (Невыразимые стихи), в которых Мириам Маргулис, Лео МакКерн, Луис Ломбард и Хью Лори читали комические стихи британских и американских авторов.
Внезапно обнаружилась видеозапись (второй стих Хью - на 10:20).
Limerick, Anon (1903)
There once was an person of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why the third?”
He replied, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.”
ист
Автор этого лимерика Cosmo Monkhouse. В Лиме был человек, у которого одновременно было три жены. Когда его спросили, зачем ему третья, он ответил: какая глупость, ведь двоежёнство - это преступление.
Hilaire Belloc
Maria, who made Faces and a Deplorable Marriage (1941)
Maria loved to pull a face:
And no such commonplace grimace
As you or I or anyone
Might make at grandmamma for fun.
But one where nose and mouth and all
Were screwed into a kind of ball,
The which- as you may well expect-
Produced a horrible effect
On those it was directed at.
One morning she was struck like that !
Her features took their final mould
In shapes that made your blood run cold
And wholly lost their former charm.
Mamma, in agonised alarm,
Consulted a renowned Masseuse
-An old and valued friend of hers-
Who rubbed the wretched child for days
In five and twenty different ways
And after that began again.
But all in vain! - But all in vain!
The years advance: Maria grows
Into a Blooming English Rose-
With every talent, every grace
(Save in this trifle of the face).
She sang, recited, laughed and played
At all that an accomplished maid
Should play with skill to be of note -
Golf, the Piano, and the Goat;
She talked in French till all was blue
And knew a little German too.
She told the tales that soldiers tell,
She also danced extremely well,
Her wit was pointed, loud and raw,
She shone at laying down the law,
She drank liqueurs instead of tea,
Her verse was admirably free
And quoted in the latest books -
But people couldn't stand her looks.
Her parents had with thoughtful care
Proclaimed her genius everywhere,
Nor quite concealed a wealth which sounds
Enormous - thirty million pounds -
further whispered it that she
Could deal with it exclusively.
They did not hide her chief defect,
But what with birth and intellect
And breeding and such ample means,
And still in her delightful 'teens,
A girl like our Maria (they thought)
Should make the kind of match she ought.
Those who had seen her here at home
Might hesitate : but Paris ? Rome ? . . .
- The foreigners should take the bait.
And so they did. At any rate,
The greatest men of every land
Arrived in shoals to seek her hand,
Grand Dukes, Commanders of the Fleece,
Mysterious Millionaires from Greece,
And exiled Kings in large amounts,
Ambassadors and Papal Counts,
And Rastaqouères from Palamerez
And Famous Foreign Secretaries,
They came along in turns to call
But all - without exception, all -
Though with determination set,
Yet, when they actually met,
Would start convulsively as though
They had received a sudden blow,
And mumbling a discreet good-day
Would shuffle, turn and slink away,
The upshot of it was Maria
Was married to a neighbouring Squire
Who, being blind, could never guess
His wife's appalling ugliness.
ист
"Кривляющаяся Мария и Печальный брак". Это фрагмент большего произведения, которое называется "Стихи-предостережения". Тут рассказывается о Марии, которая в детстве любила кривляться, и однажды скорчила жуткую рожу, да так и осталась. Её пытались лечить, но ни что не помогло. Она выросла, была очень образована, интеллигентна и умна, пела, танцевала, играла, знала языки - сокровище, а не невеста, но её ужасное лицо распугивало всех богатых и знатных женихов, так, что они бежали от неё, теряя тапки. В конце концов она вышла замуж за соседа, который был слеп.
Внезапно обнаружилась видеозапись (второй стих Хью - на 10:20).
Click to viewLimerick, Anon (1903)
There once was an person of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why the third?”
He replied, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime.”
ист
Автор этого лимерика Cosmo Monkhouse. В Лиме был человек, у которого одновременно было три жены. Когда его спросили, зачем ему третья, он ответил: какая глупость, ведь двоежёнство - это преступление.
Hilaire Belloc
Maria, who made Faces and a Deplorable Marriage (1941)
Maria loved to pull a face:
And no such commonplace grimace
As you or I or anyone
Might make at grandmamma for fun.
But one where nose and mouth and all
Were screwed into a kind of ball,
The which- as you may well expect-
Produced a horrible effect
On those it was directed at.
One morning she was struck like that !
Her features took their final mould
In shapes that made your blood run cold
And wholly lost their former charm.
Mamma, in agonised alarm,
Consulted a renowned Masseuse
-An old and valued friend of hers-
Who rubbed the wretched child for days
In five and twenty different ways
And after that began again.
But all in vain! - But all in vain!
The years advance: Maria grows
Into a Blooming English Rose-
With every talent, every grace
(Save in this trifle of the face).
She sang, recited, laughed and played
At all that an accomplished maid
Should play with skill to be of note -
Golf, the Piano, and the Goat;
She talked in French till all was blue
And knew a little German too.
She told the tales that soldiers tell,
She also danced extremely well,
Her wit was pointed, loud and raw,
She shone at laying down the law,
She drank liqueurs instead of tea,
Her verse was admirably free
And quoted in the latest books -
But people couldn't stand her looks.
Her parents had with thoughtful care
Proclaimed her genius everywhere,
Nor quite concealed a wealth which sounds
Enormous - thirty million pounds -
further whispered it that she
Could deal with it exclusively.
They did not hide her chief defect,
But what with birth and intellect
And breeding and such ample means,
And still in her delightful 'teens,
A girl like our Maria (they thought)
Should make the kind of match she ought.
Those who had seen her here at home
Might hesitate : but Paris ? Rome ? . . .
- The foreigners should take the bait.
And so they did. At any rate,
The greatest men of every land
Arrived in shoals to seek her hand,
Grand Dukes, Commanders of the Fleece,
Mysterious Millionaires from Greece,
And exiled Kings in large amounts,
Ambassadors and Papal Counts,
And Rastaqouères from Palamerez
And Famous Foreign Secretaries,
They came along in turns to call
But all - without exception, all -
Though with determination set,
Yet, when they actually met,
Would start convulsively as though
They had received a sudden blow,
And mumbling a discreet good-day
Would shuffle, turn and slink away,
The upshot of it was Maria
Was married to a neighbouring Squire
Who, being blind, could never guess
His wife's appalling ugliness.
ист
"Кривляющаяся Мария и Печальный брак". Это фрагмент большего произведения, которое называется "Стихи-предостережения". Тут рассказывается о Марии, которая в детстве любила кривляться, и однажды скорчила жуткую рожу, да так и осталась. Её пытались лечить, но ни что не помогло. Она выросла, была очень образована, интеллигентна и умна, пела, танцевала, играла, знала языки - сокровище, а не невеста, но её ужасное лицо распугивало всех богатых и знатных женихов, так, что они бежали от неё, теряя тапки. В конце концов она вышла замуж за соседа, который был слеп.