Arrgh ... disrespectful boyfriend problems.
So, I've been in a relationship since March. He's a nice guy in many respects, but I'm getting tired of him thinking he knows what's best for me regarding my disability or my transportation than I do. It isn't helpful to have a man (or anyone for that matter, but my boyfriend is obviously a man) insist that I can do something I said I couldn't do. Things I say don't have to make logical sense to you in order to be accurate statements regarding my disability. My body doesn't work or not work according to anyone else's reality or logic; it just ... does what it can do and doesn't do what it can't or shouldn't. Encouraging me to try to do things I've told you I can't do could (and often has in the past when I've thought I could do similar things) lead to me getting injured from overexertion if I were to attempt doing them. I've lived with my body for 37 years; I know it well. This guy hasn't even known me for a year. Who do you think knows my body and what I can do better?
I make use of a transportation system for people with disabilities when we get together. I sometimes have to speak to my driver and explain that I need the lift down, if said driver is operating a van. Drivers often assume I can use the steps, even though I have it written in a profile that is visible to the driver that I need to use a lift. Whenever I need to explain anything, my boyfriend overtalks me and starts explaining for me, which is very demeaning in my opinion.
I have talked to him about these things. We can have a lot of fun together, and I lovehim; I just wish he'd respect me and my ability to handle myself better. It really can hurt my feelings, at times. Unfortunately, I guess that's just how it goes. Even after decades of feminism, there are men out there who think it's best to treat women like we can't do anything for ourselves. There aren't words to describe how much this irritates me. I don't have the right to change someone though, so I guess I just have to put up with it, if I want to keep a boyfriend.
I make use of a transportation system for people with disabilities when we get together. I sometimes have to speak to my driver and explain that I need the lift down, if said driver is operating a van. Drivers often assume I can use the steps, even though I have it written in a profile that is visible to the driver that I need to use a lift. Whenever I need to explain anything, my boyfriend overtalks me and starts explaining for me, which is very demeaning in my opinion.
I have talked to him about these things. We can have a lot of fun together, and I lovehim; I just wish he'd respect me and my ability to handle myself better. It really can hurt my feelings, at times. Unfortunately, I guess that's just how it goes. Even after decades of feminism, there are men out there who think it's best to treat women like we can't do anything for ourselves. There aren't words to describe how much this irritates me. I don't have the right to change someone though, so I guess I just have to put up with it, if I want to keep a boyfriend.