goody good gosh
today i watch the care bears. it was fun. i now remember why i stopped watching it, probably due to the constant speaking of the phrase " goody goody gosh" by the girl cub. i forget if she was hugs or tugs. i think she was hugs. but enough about that.
other than that i pretty much just sat around today. which isn't that bad of an idea. i mean relaxing is good right. except not really. i don't like being alone. it really actually horrify's me when i'm alone. but that doesn't really matter to me.
I realized that i'm very annoyed. see when i think about Dan i get angry. which isn't good because bitterness just isn't cool. However it DOES make me quite angry and i believe that i do have good reason for it, because of the reason that I have come to realize that i wasn't crazy or just over reacting to a non existant situation. The truth of the matter is I was right all along, as much as it sucks and it does burn almost a crack through my heart. His little escapade of telling me i'm "an awesome person" and making an effort to make me feel special by saying " i just wanted to say hi" but the effort fell alittle bit short by making it quite visible that the only conversation that would be shooken up would be when he found it to be conveniant. Frankly if that's the way it's going to be so be it. For the final time on msn today he made that clear.And i thanked him for proving my theory right. As far as i'm concerened if it's not convenient to continue to make a person feel good about themselves, don't bother in the first place. It's a waste of breath that i just don't want to hear.
BUT at the same time. My prayer was answered. I asked God for a sign wheather i should bother or not and i got my sign, it was a sign in the not direction. For that reason i thank God.
as for other people. aka robbie. he's nice. he emails me back all the time and whenever we actually are on aim at the same time... he starts the conversation before i can even see who's online. I mean i don't like him, but he's so nice and he's comming to visit next summer on my birthday. To be honest it will be the best Best BEST birthday present i will have ever gotten.
The only thing is i really want to talk to him about everything you know, have great conversations but i feel like i'm going to say to much and annoy him and he'll just be like "agh shut up". so i stop talking sothat doesn't happen and i'm sitting there going "AH WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU GET THE CHANCE TO TALK AND YOU"RE NOT! ARE YOU SNUTS!?
Anyways i think this is the most i've ever written in a live journal post before without song lyrics or stuff like that.
Tonight is going to be a relaxation night again. I'm thinking i'm going to watch biography. it's linda blair... very kool.
That's all for now. later