are you aware that i'm in love with you? that'd be a pisser
holy shit, my room is so messy right now. and still all i'm interested in doing is finding good pictures to frame for my desk in the dorm. i haven't written in a while. not just in here, but anything. i used to say the phrase "i fail to give a crap" a lot in high school to express my disdain for the place. today it's been running through my head again...haha. yesterday i spent a huge portion of my day searching for jeans that fit right. i had almost no luck, because i am a moron and i was trying to shop in the juniors department. newsflash: juniors jeans are UGLY. i do not need my denim painted directly onto the curve of my ass, nor do i need leather strings laced up the side of my legs. i'm gonna be such a curmudgeonly old woman, man, i'm already horrified at the state of the generation below me. who DRESSES like that when they're 14? anyway. we (the CU bunch) move out in...13 days. whoa, shit. i have a lot to do and very little desire to do it. instead of doing it, i will make a list:
* clean and pack room
* buy a rug with roommate
* figure out some sort of organizational system for all my crap in the dorm
* deposit money in my account so nothing bounces
* read the user manual for my laptop
* buy bike lock
* find the textbook i haven't gotten yet (it's called 'the politics of womens' bodies'...jon can start making the granola lesbian jokes now)
* locate acceptable jeans
* stop watching the x files so much
* start giving a fuck
i'm starting to brace myself for the immeasurable feelings of loneliness that i won't be able to avoid once august 26 and september 6 come. although actually i'm starting to think it won't be SO bad. i'm really not a dependent person...in fact, i'm largely independent and i don't have to have my friends around to feel okay. (this sounds like daily affirmations--i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, i won't have a mental breakdown when my friends move to opposite sides of the continent.) so, strangely, i'm not as worried as i was earlier this summer, though i'm sure when i start putting together little goodbye presents it'll hit me again. it's so hard to find people in life that completely understand you, and who are always willing to forgive you for your faults--no matter how bad they are. i really want to build the friendships i have that are actually IN boulder...there's a lot of people i haven't really seen in several weeks (you know who you are) but who i really think are fucking awesome people. so it's true, not everyone i love is leaving. it's just time to...reconfigure a comfort zone.
by the way, have you seen 28 days later? Jesus. Christ.
* clean and pack room
* buy a rug with roommate
* figure out some sort of organizational system for all my crap in the dorm
* deposit money in my account so nothing bounces
* read the user manual for my laptop
* buy bike lock
* find the textbook i haven't gotten yet (it's called 'the politics of womens' bodies'...jon can start making the granola lesbian jokes now)
* locate acceptable jeans
* stop watching the x files so much
* start giving a fuck
i'm starting to brace myself for the immeasurable feelings of loneliness that i won't be able to avoid once august 26 and september 6 come. although actually i'm starting to think it won't be SO bad. i'm really not a dependent person...in fact, i'm largely independent and i don't have to have my friends around to feel okay. (this sounds like daily affirmations--i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, i won't have a mental breakdown when my friends move to opposite sides of the continent.) so, strangely, i'm not as worried as i was earlier this summer, though i'm sure when i start putting together little goodbye presents it'll hit me again. it's so hard to find people in life that completely understand you, and who are always willing to forgive you for your faults--no matter how bad they are. i really want to build the friendships i have that are actually IN boulder...there's a lot of people i haven't really seen in several weeks (you know who you are) but who i really think are fucking awesome people. so it's true, not everyone i love is leaving. it's just time to...reconfigure a comfort zone.
by the way, have you seen 28 days later? Jesus. Christ.