Miss you
I think I might have just been through one of the hardest weeks of my life... I never knew it could be so hard, I didn't realize how bad it could hurt. I never thought it was coming, but it did. I wish that I could take back everything that I said, everything that I did, and change it all back to how it was. Before this I never realized how many friends I really have, and how many people have faith in me. Now is when I need everyone the most. The past 4 months have given me some of the best times of my life. I never knew I could love somebody so much now, but I have. Everyday I've been thinking about what I've done and I know i made the biggest mistake of my life. Being so upset and wrapped up in the pain made me act in a way that I never should have, and I want to take it back. At the time I thought being friends wasn't right for me, I was being stubborn and all I wanted was to feel the way I felt for the past 4 months... so not thinking about the way it should be, I went ahead and made my decision clear. Now I realize that for 2 years i have never wanted anything more than what i just got to experience, and before I got to actually be his girlfriend, I was his best friend, and that is what brought me to being his girlfriend. I was never so close to anyone, I think I knew just about everything there was to know, I spent my days talking to him and my nights talking to him, and i knew that no matter what happened to the both of us, I never wanted to lose his friendship. I've lost it once before, and I don't know how I could let something that important to me slip away. So now I know what I have to do, and if something is so important to you, never let it go.
I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore because I know that what we had was real, and if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives', I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent our days together. Learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that weakens the soul, and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts, and brings peace to our minds and that's what you've given me. That is what I'd hope to give to you forever. I love you and ill be seeing you.