What's in a bad year?...
Here's a rough draft of a bit of a sonnet I wrote reflecting on the worst year of my life:
You thought that I had become a junkie?
Well, “everybody’s got somethin’ to hide except for me and my monkey.”
I’m not here to tell you you were right or wrong.
Besides, you’ve known all along.
If you’re going to judge me without ever asking
Than I deserve to tear you down from your self-righteous basking.
Your tireless efforts to taint my name
Every effort seemingly made in vain
I’m still standing, and now you’re on your knees
Begging for mercy crying, “please, please, please!”
I’ll take you down, I will make you hurt
Every move you make crushed to ash and dirt
Into the ground in potter’s clay you lie
Did you ever think to realize how much your sick words made me cry?
I choked on those tears for too long last year
Do you know what it feels like to die?
I do, thank you, and it’s all because of you
You sick sadistic fuck.
Was it fun? You felt cool, breaking all the rules.
Nobody mattered but you.
I sat alone on my stool, playing the fool
Sad to think I loved you.
You played with my mind, now I’m stuck doing time
Lost inside my own twisted head
I am in a psychosis; manic, scared and helpless
All the while you skip along.
Like hop scotch you play skipping all our lives away
Over a puddle of water too deep
We had good times, your memories are mine
But I rather they were yours to keep.
Far away from me is all I want you to be
I will never know you again
Go, get, leave me, too far all to see.
You thought that I had become a junkie?
Well, “everybody’s got somethin’ to hide except for me and my monkey.”
I’m not here to tell you you were right or wrong.
Besides, you’ve known all along.
If you’re going to judge me without ever asking
Than I deserve to tear you down from your self-righteous basking.
Your tireless efforts to taint my name
Every effort seemingly made in vain
I’m still standing, and now you’re on your knees
Begging for mercy crying, “please, please, please!”
I’ll take you down, I will make you hurt
Every move you make crushed to ash and dirt
Into the ground in potter’s clay you lie
Did you ever think to realize how much your sick words made me cry?
I choked on those tears for too long last year
Do you know what it feels like to die?
I do, thank you, and it’s all because of you
You sick sadistic fuck.
Was it fun? You felt cool, breaking all the rules.
Nobody mattered but you.
I sat alone on my stool, playing the fool
Sad to think I loved you.
You played with my mind, now I’m stuck doing time
Lost inside my own twisted head
I am in a psychosis; manic, scared and helpless
All the while you skip along.
Like hop scotch you play skipping all our lives away
Over a puddle of water too deep
We had good times, your memories are mine
But I rather they were yours to keep.
Far away from me is all I want you to be
I will never know you again
Go, get, leave me, too far all to see.