(no subject)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...it's soccer season! I can officially call myself a "soccer mom". ...or can I? Oooooooooooh wait...that's right. My kid was the ONLY kid that decided he didn't want to play anymore. Let me take you back. I made the decision for him to sign him up for soccer. I thought it was an excellent sport for a 4 year old. A four year old BOY at that. I mean...you kick, and you run. Boys are GOOD at that. After we officially signed him up, it was all soccer talk at our house. The kid was pumped. The night he got his soccer shoes, he refused to take them off. The shin guards? He'd explain "it's so I don't get kicked!" He was ready, he was excited, he wanted to hit the fields! The morning of his first practice/game, he was literally bouncing off the walls. When we got there, he couldn't WAIT to get out of the car and get out on the field with the other children. He was SO EXCITED. Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen...it started. He didn't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna do it anymore. Momma was trying her dardest to get him to just try. I held his hands, I kicked the ball for him, I encouraged him and praised his "effort" as if he was David Beckham himself. What did that do? It made him cry. I WANNA GO HOOOOOOME! I didn't force him to PLAY, but gosh darnit, we weren't going home. He needed to at least stay. This is when that amazing wet noodle phenomenon happens and all the bones and muscles in his body go limp. It's tragic, really. While all these other four year olds are out running around, having fun, with their beaming parents on the sidelines, there sat myself. Sweaty. My hair was a mess. I started that day with my hair in a ponytail but Ethan's uniform shorts that we got THAT MORNING were so huge, they wouldn't even ALMOST stay up. So there went my hair tie around the back of his shorts, which gave him a lovely tail. So yeah. I looked rough. And there was NO denying I was annoyed. And Ethan? He was a puddle of boy behind me, whining "the sun is too hooooooooooot, the grass is too itchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, i want to go hooooooooooooooooooome." I swear, there was steam coming out of my ears I was getting so annoyed.
THEN! There she comes! The angel mother of them all. She even LOOKED all Little House on the Prairie-ish. She gets down next to Ethan (I mean, she had to get DOWN...he was exactly level with the earth) to talk to him. I hear the words thomas, adventure, yadda yadda, yadda and I kid you not within 5 minutes she had Ethan on the field kicking the ball! Seriously? Who IS this mom and how did she get so DAMN GOOD?! I need lessons or something. The best part of it all wasn't that Ethan had spent so much time sulking, that now he only had literally 2 minutes to play, but I couldn't let him see ME watching him! There's my boy out there, I am beaming with pride, but if he sees me, he'll stop. So this is SERIOUSLY going to be the next 11 weeks of soccer? God help us all. They ALWAYS say your second kid is high maintenance. Where the hell is my first child then, cause this ain't funny!
Nothing comes easy with this child. NOTHING! THose last final moments, he was so happy and excited so I thought GOOD! We've got it going, now next week will be better. OOOOOOOOOOOOH no. He already said "I AM NEVER GOING BACK DERE AGAIN!" Oh, and wanna know something funny? Soccer pictures are next week. AHAHAHAHA! My kid hates it. His pictures are going to be just precious. I'm not going to force him to play by any means, but I'm not letting him be a quitter this fast. He needs to at least TRY before he decides he doesn't want to do it. And I don't think that is too much to ask.
That little fun-sucker.
THEN! There she comes! The angel mother of them all. She even LOOKED all Little House on the Prairie-ish. She gets down next to Ethan (I mean, she had to get DOWN...he was exactly level with the earth) to talk to him. I hear the words thomas, adventure, yadda yadda, yadda and I kid you not within 5 minutes she had Ethan on the field kicking the ball! Seriously? Who IS this mom and how did she get so DAMN GOOD?! I need lessons or something. The best part of it all wasn't that Ethan had spent so much time sulking, that now he only had literally 2 minutes to play, but I couldn't let him see ME watching him! There's my boy out there, I am beaming with pride, but if he sees me, he'll stop. So this is SERIOUSLY going to be the next 11 weeks of soccer? God help us all. They ALWAYS say your second kid is high maintenance. Where the hell is my first child then, cause this ain't funny!
Nothing comes easy with this child. NOTHING! THose last final moments, he was so happy and excited so I thought GOOD! We've got it going, now next week will be better. OOOOOOOOOOOOH no. He already said "I AM NEVER GOING BACK DERE AGAIN!" Oh, and wanna know something funny? Soccer pictures are next week. AHAHAHAHA! My kid hates it. His pictures are going to be just precious. I'm not going to force him to play by any means, but I'm not letting him be a quitter this fast. He needs to at least TRY before he decides he doesn't want to do it. And I don't think that is too much to ask.
That little fun-sucker.